When it isn't a virus... it's just eczema.

Yesterday didn't start off so great for Caroline.

I spent the morning preparing her for what was going to happen at 10 am.

She was going to the doctor.

"NO SHOT!" she said.

What?

I didn't understand what she said.

She aggressively got into my face, pointed at her leg and said again, "NO SHOT!"

Ok, ok. I heard you, crazy lady.

I reassured her there would be no shots given.

I had to take her because her stomach, back, and legs have broken out in some kind of rash.

I was nervous that she was allergic to something, so I took her.

On the way to the doctors office I pointed out the hospital where KK works.

"Look Caroline. That is where KK works with the babies."

"Day Day? Baby?"

"Yep! That's where she helps take care of all the little babies."

2 seconds later we pull into the pediatricians office.

I realized I had confused her.

She now thought we were going to see KK.

"I get out. Day Day. Baby."

I then had to explain AGAIN where we were.

My first obstacle... making it in the building without her freaking out.

We got out of the car as I told her that we were at the doctor.

I told her that she would get stickers.

We made it through the door.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

The waiting room wasn't so bad.

She enjoyed the other children, toys, and books.

I only had one heart attack while we waited.

I looked at Caroline and she had a waiting room book in her mouth.

I cringe to even think about what could have been on that thing.

I all but made her vomit trying to wipe the germs away.

"CAROLINE." I don't even know how they pronounced our last name over the loud speaker. Whatever!

I scooped her up.

She told her new friends bye.

We were on our way.

The nurse took us to take Caroline's weight.

She had to stand on the big girl scale.

You would have thought we were asking her to do a back flip.

She refused.

Finally, we got a weight.

As if that wasn't enough for the nurse, we had to take her temperature.

GREAT!

I have come to the conclusion that the best way to take a temperature is an ear thermometer.

I don't care what books, articles, and doctors say. You do what you have to do to get any type of reading on a thermometer with a kicking, screaming two year old wild child.

OH NO! The nurse had to hold it under Caroline's arm.

You would have thought the thermometer was shocking her armpit.

The nurse had crossed into Caroline's box and I saw my child was about to lose it.

She did.

She began to scream.

She turned into a clawing cat that was trying to climb over my shoulder and make a get away.

After they put us in our room, I thought I would be able to calm my crazy child down.

I promised her the world.

I started small of course.

First, I thought she would enjoy petting a dinosaur on the wall. Ok.. NO. Not interested.

Maybe sitting in the doctors chair. Ok... NO. Not interested.

Maybe touching his computer. Ok... NO. Not interested.

Caroline would point to the window and scream, "DADDY! HOME! DADDY! HOME!"

She had obviously thought a lot about ways to get out of that building.

Why is Mommy always the bad one. They always want Daddy to rescue them.

So, what did Mommy do? I started promising the bigger things.

In Caroline's life, stickers can change the world. "Mommy will get you a sticker if you can stop crying." NOPE!

Icees are the new favorite treat in the Lafone home. "Mommy will get you an icee if you can stop crying." I got closer with this one. She said ICEE through her sobs.

Ponies, rainbows, glitter, Fancy Nancy... I tried everything but a brand new BMW when she turned 16.

The cat would not stop crying.

I thought it couldn't get any worse... and then the doctor walked in.

The clawing cat turned into a pig.

Her cries sounded like those of what I imagine a dying, screaming pig to be like.

The doctor was wonderful though.

I guess he is use to it.

Thank goodness we were not in the room long.

The doctor told us the rash was just Caroline's eczema.

All that I had been through... for him to say the word eczema.

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.

I should have known.

I've come to the conclusion that when it isn't a virus... it's eczema.

Just call me Dr. Lafone.