Playing catch up with a list of randoms

1. At least this Eastern North Caroline weather has done one thing for us... Taught us how to breathe with a blanket over our face.  The humidity was ridiculous today.

2.  We went to stay with my BIL and SIL a few weeks ago.  We attended the Lafone family reunion in the hills of Hickory, NC. I was falsely identified as a cousin's girlfriend.  Everyone got a good chuckle.  We had an awesome time.

3.  We also rode the boat on Lake Norman. I sang this song in my head the entire time.



We stopped at Vinnie's on the lake and had a fabulous lunch.

The we rode some and the kids swam.  A good time was had by all.

4.  Bug turned 4 last Wednesday, tear.  4.  That is such a big girl age.  It is not like geting older makes mothering any easier though. The older they get, the bigger they get.  They become forces to be reckoned with that you can't hold down anymore.

We celebrated her birthday for almost a week.  We ate pizza for almost every meal.

She got everything she wanted:
- a pink chandelier
- new Jessie doll (she left her other Jessie in the scooter and it rained.  Jessie has mildew all over her now)
- a real Bullseye
- bows
- dresses
- Doc Mcstuffins talking doll
- monogrammed leotards for dance
- a dance bag
- charm bracelet

5.  Our week nights are completely filled.  We have activities every night of the week except Tuesday and Friday.  I am waiting for something to pop up on Tuesdays.  It is nice to stay busy but I already need a break.

Our normal weeknight schedule:
Monday- Caroline Tennis Lessons
Tuesday- Open
Wednesday- Caroline Gymnastics then she has to go straight to GAs
Thursday- Emma Dance Lessons, Dinner with the Lafone's (it is our ritual and we love it)
Friday- Open

Shew.  I know it is only going to get more crazy when they get older.

6.  Excuse my not blogging.  Getting into the swing of the new school year and activities has been challenging.  I think I have got it figured out now.

Random

1.  I woke up Sunday morning feeling very hungover.  We had a date night Saturday night and I may have dabbled in a little Beefeater.  I woke feeling like I drank the whole fifth.  Little did I know that a fever blister was slowly growing to the size of a goiter in the corner of my mouth.  Yuck!  Why me?

2.  I was then made fun of for carrying Valtrex around in my pocketbook.  Don't hate.

3.  The girls cried for balloons at my Nana's house.  She whipped out a bag of balloons from who knows where or who knows when.  I blew the balloons up and they resembled a male copulatory organ (don't google that at work).    I am sure my husband is going to find that google search interesting in our history.  I am calling it that because I don't want people googling the other word and finding a mom blog.  That would be terrible.
Anyway, even my sweet, conversative, Southern Baptist princess Nana had a little chuckle.  It was especially funny when the girls were screaming for me to blow up the pink balloon.  "Just blow up the pink balloon," Nana chimed in.  "Nana, I don't think that would be very appropriate."  Of course the girls were oblivious to the connection we had made.  Caroline just walked about whacking everyone and everything with her male copulatory organ balloon laughing hysterically.

4.  I use google as spell checker.  Is that normal?

5.  Tonight is Taco Tuesday.  The girls begged.  I don't cook tacos very often anymore.  Tonight we are doing something a little different, a taco ring.  Even I am kind of excited.

6.  I took BOTH of the children to Walmart to grocery shop today with NO list in hand.  Talk about a nightmare.  I don't even know what I bought.

7.  Speaking of Walmart, they are now carrying Dream Lites.  After waiting FOREVER for ours, you can now buy them at Walmart.  I should have known.

8.  The Dream Lites came and the girls love them.  They are pretty neat.  However, we were extremely disappointed in their size.  I was thinking they would be the size of a regular pillow pet.  They are not.  They are the size of the little miniature pillow pets.

9.  4 days until GNO at the beach.  Some girls have already packed their bag.  I will be packing mine shortly.  I am counting down the hours.

10.  Who else is looking forwArd to Pretty Little LiArs tonight?

What are some of your randoms today?

Freaking Yo Gabba Gabba... whatever that means

My closest friends know my hatred for Yo Gabba Gabba!

1. What do the words yo gabba gabba even mean?

2. Where did the names Muno, Foofa, Brobee, Toodee and Plex come from? Last time I checked, I am trying to get my child to speak English correctly not make up their own words. Idiots.

3. According to Wikipedia, "the show was developed by two Southern California fathers with no previous experience writing for television let alone children’s broadcasting. They simply shared a mutual disappointment in kids’ television. They both wanted to design a kids' show that was both educational and entertaining while featuring real artists and real performers."

"No previous experience writing for television let alone children's broadcasting". Do you think?? I would have NEVER guessed!!

"They simply shared a mutual disappointment in kids' television"? Huh? Like this show isn't a major disappointment.

4. Obviously this show was written by two men. How did I know this before lightly researching? All of the characters resemble nasty things. Think about it.


Scary.

5. These writers, characters, and guests are most of the time high as kites. What verified this was the fact that each character has a "realm". Then to further verify the high characters, Jack Black was a guest. Are you kidding me?

6. Lastly and most important, the stupid show teaches my children crazy habits. For example, watch this "cool trick"...



I saw this and immediately hid the recorder. I could picture it... Caroline playing the recorder with her nose and then Emma putting it in her mouth. Gross.

This show is ridiculous.

Just ridiculous.

Over it.

We will stick with reruns of Swamp People.

Monday Happiness, Randoms and Link Love

- The new OPI Shatter polish makes me super happy. The bottom coat is Keys to my Karma and then a top coat of black shatter. Love it! Anna (my sister) used a pink as her bottom coat and the silver shatter on top. Hers is super summery and very pretty.


- Two new wines that are AH-MAZING make me super happy. This weekend I discovered Country Squire Apple Orchard Riesling which is a Granny Smith Apple wine that is soooo yum-o! The other is Country Squire Knicker Dropper which is a Pomegranate wine that almost tastes like candy. So good!

- We had a date night Friday night. Date nights always make me happy especially when we eat at one of my favorites... The Flying Shamrock.

- The rain last night was wonderful and the cloudiness today has been great too! We are loving every minute of summer but we definitely needed a break from the sun.

- I am caught up with the laundry AND I'm about to clean the bathrooms. How does my house stay more together when the kids are at home all day, everyday? I'm better at picking up and cleaning when the kids aren't in preschool! So strange?!

- The Bachelorette comes on tonight. No matter how much I hate it, I can't stop watching.

- I posted a new recipe on the food blog.

- The RHOC Reunion Part One made me so happy last night. I love those bitches. They are so snide and cunning it is ridiculous and I LOVE IT! Tonight... Part Two!

- Must take pictures is on the top of my To Do's.

- Kitchen Queens is Wednesday night and I can't wait!

- Do you have any link love you would like to spread? Leave it in the comments.

TO THE MOON!!!!!

My children like to swing "to the moon".

This all started with my Dad who my children affectionately call "Jay".

Yes, that is his first name.

Yes, that is what they call him.

He is totally not a Papa, Grandpa, or any other name. He is a "Jay".

Anyway, Ryan and I took the girls to the park the other day.

Emma asked to swing the baby swings even though she can swing in the big girl swings now.

"Fast, Daddy!"

"Ryan, swing her to the moon," I yelled as I snapped pictures.

This is what happened...


"Dear sweet baby Jesus! Not that high!!"

I almost lost it.

Emma almost flipped out but loved it.

Ryan was oblivious as to why I almost had a heart attack.

And one more time for good measure...


Nutjobs.

Not all it's cracked up to be.

I finally did it.

After two years of waiting, I finally ate at Chipotle.

I promised to blog about my first Chipotle experience. So, here it is.

As many of you know, MckMama eats here often. After reading about her food and looking at the amazing pictures, I have been dying to go.

Every time we go to Raleigh, we always end up eating somewhere else.

This weekend, my sister and I went to the Pinocchio ballet preformed by the Carolina Ballet. The ballet was nothing short of amazing and I can't wait to see another show by the Carolina Ballet. They are amazing dancers.

Anyway, afterwards we decided to shop a little and eat lunch. I thought about Chipotle and all but insisted we eat there. Ha!

I walked in with high hopes.

First bummer... the menu is small.

I had a burrito with chicken, cilantro rice, tomatillo green chili salsa, cheese, sour cream and black beans.

We also shared a bag of chips, salsa, and guacamole.

I must admit that the guacamole was the best of all. It was wonderful.

The burrito was dry and a little bland.

So after two years... I can now say that Bonfire's is so much better.

Chipotle... it's not all that it's cracked up to be. Bummer.

Gangsta

I was the white girl back in 2003 yelling HOLLERRR instead of HOLLAAAA!

Seriously, I am about as non-gangster as you can get.

However, I went gangsta on my husband yesterday. Not gangster... gangsta.

Here is how the conversation went:

Hailey: "Oh, so we aren't going out to lunch?"

Ryan: "No."

Hailey: "Let's just go. What are we going to eat?"

Ryan: "We have stuff here to eat and you have lots of stuff here that you can do."

Hailey: "Like what?"

Ryan: "Like mop, wash clothes, dust..."

Hailey: "No, you need to get yo ass up off da couch and mop, wash clothes, etc. (clearly mocking him)."

Ryan: "(Clearly mocking me)Get YO ass up off DA couch? Really? REALLY?"

I felt gangsta. Therefore, I have been listening to country music all day so that I will start using words like ain't & y'all.

Country music= crisis averted.

I did, however, look up my gangsta name on this website known as Gangsta Name Generator. This is what my gangsta name is...


Bless my sweet little heart, y'all! I don't think that gangsta is for me.

ATTACK

There is no other way to begin this post... I was attacked by a chicken.

Go ahead. Laugh.

If it was you, you would NOT be laughing. In all honesty, I can laugh now but at the time of the attack... I was screaming like a baby. Seriously. Imagine that... me screaming, saying cuss words, and doing karate moves.

Let me set the scene for you.

I rode over to my BFF's house. She has a pond and a little green shed. Perfect backdrops for the pictures I was taking.

Caroline fell asleep on the way so when we got there I told Emma to sit tight and I would be right back. I hopped out of the car to survey the little green shed.

That's when I saw it. Chickenzilla. This is the monster of chickens. I'm talking if I killed it, we could throw it on the grill and feed a small army.

Anyway, the chicken was obviously not happy that I was there. It began to run towards me.

"Don't run Hailey. DO NOT RUN!" I thought to myself. "The chicken will chase you and it will be all over then."

I politely asked the chicken if I could go back to my car. No such luck. Reasoning with a chicken is like reasoning with a 2 year old... it doesn't happen.

"WTF am I going to do? I have got to get back to my car before Bug starts freaking out."

5 minutes pass. The chicken is making that loud chicken noise and spreading its wings.

I said lots of cuss words and slowly turned to walk away. The chicken followed... as did more cuss words.

I finally made it to Arrin's moms house in hopes to find her brother (they are his stupid chickens anyway). Nope. He wasn't home.

I tried to get the dog to follow me and protect me. Nope. The dog was smarter than that. He knew that the stupid chicken would attack him instead. So, I grabbed a random shoe that was on the porch as my backup.

Now, it was just me and my weapon (a shoe) against a monster chicken.

I slowly began to make my way back to my car. I made a big circle around the backyard. The chicken followed my every move... spreading his wings and neck feathers and such all along the way. Stupid chicken.

He cornered me next to a small tree. He spread his wings and began flying towards me.

What was I suppose to do?

I kicked it. I kicked the chicken. It was more of me just putting my boot out and the chicken flying into it rather than an actual kick. (Yes, PETA people. I semi-harmed a chicken. If you don't understand, you must have never been attacked by a monster chicken. Come to La Grange. I'll show you one.)

After the "kick", I threw the shoe at it and ran. I ran as fast as my little legs and sweet cowboy boots would take me.

I made it to my car in one piece. As I sat there breathless with the sound of an angry chicken in the background, I said a little prayer thanking God for letting me get away. I also think it is pretty sweet that I have broken in my cowboy boots a little more because a chicken flew into them.

I drove away from the scene with an extreme fear of chickens but a sweet pair of roughed up cowboy boots. I'll call that even.



-------------------

Here is a picture of the chickens. The one closest to my side mirror is the attacker...


I look forward to the day I get to eat you Chickenzilla. My husband has big plans to cook your up nice and crispy just for me. Peace out!

My OCD

Last night, I got into bed and turned the TV on. I can't go to sleep without the TV on. It's my thing. It drives Ryan nuts but whatever. He will eventually get over it and I will eventually get over the way he brushes his teeth.

Anyway, Kathy Griffin's Whore on Crutches was on. Of course I stopped to watch it. Kathy Griffin is hilarious and I love her.

She did a segment about The OCD Project. I have never heard of the show. She was describing this woman who was always scared she had run someone over. It was one of her OCD tendencies.

Do you know what?

That is one of mine.

After Bunco last night, I dropped a friend off at her house. I was coming out of her neighborhood and went over a bump in the road. I had to turn back. Yes, I had to turn my car around and make sure it wasn't a person. Now, knowing that it was just a bump... when I hit it again, I had to turn around once again and drive back through to make sure it wasn't a person.

After the second time, I finally made myself leave the neighborhood.

As crazy as it sounds, I think I am semi OCD.

When I tee-tee I have to wipe the seat afterwards... even when the seat is clean.

I can't shut the door behind me if we are leaving for the weekend. Ryan has finally learned that it is just easier for him to shut the door. If I have to do it, I will stand there and check the door knob and push on the door until I am satisfied. It could be 3 times, it could be 25. Until I am satisfied, I will not leave that door.

I have found that most of my anxiety comes at times when we are leaving the house for more than just a few hours. I will stress for at least an hour during the ride about the stove, dryer, dishwasher, door, refrigerator door, etc.

I can't just open and close the refrigerator door. If I open it for any reason, when I shut it back I will reopen and shut it until I am satisfied that it is closed.

I think I have typed about these OCD actions and anxiety before. The older I get, the worse it becomes.

I do good to cover it up. Ryan doesn't even notice a lot of the things that I do. Maybe he does and is just so use to it that he lets me do it. Haha!

I don't have an obsession with washing my hands which is weird because a lot of people with OCD do.

I do however have a strange obsession with light switches. If I have to turn a light off, I will stand there with my hand on the switch, pushing down to make sure it is off, until I am satisfied that it is off. I don't do the usual "on and off" game that a lot of people with OCD do. Thank goodness we mostly have lamps in our house. I don't have to use light switches often. Ha!

Am I crazy or are these things normal?

Gosh! I have a kid with a black tooth, a kid who can flatulate on command, a husband who brushes his teeth weird, AND I'm an OCD nutjob! I live the dream life, people. Be jealous. ;-)

ears and bugs don't mix

A few weeks ago... well, October 8th to be exact... I thought I was going to die.

I mean not literally but what happened to me was terrible.

We were getting ready for a party at my mom's house. We were setting up hay bales, tables, fire pits, and all kinds of other fun stuff out in mom's backyard.

I sat down for a minute to talk to Mom and Nana.

That's when it happened. A freaking bug flew in my ear.

I had a massive anxiety attack. It was an awful feeling. I was also freaking out because I watch Untold Stories from the ER. I saw an episode where a june bug flew in a lady's ear. It was terrible.

Anyway, after pouring peroxide in my ear, using the bulb syringe, and blowing in my ear... the stupid bug came out.

It was just a teeny tiny gnat.

I would have sworn that there was a huge bug in there.

It was so loud... like a helicopter.

When it happens, it is almost a claustrophobic feeling. It is almost like you are in a tiny room and can't get out.

You have a bug in your ear, and you can't get it out.

Damn scaphoid ear deformity is to blame. I swear it is. My ear is like a freaking beacon.

Fork

The salad and dinner fork were just too small for her.

And yes, that is Creme Brulee Coffee Mate with a splash of half regular/half decaf coffee that she was drinking. No judgement please.

Tips, Info, Hints

Being a mom is a big deal. It is a hard job.

I don't know all of the answers but I can tell you all of the things I've done wrong. In other words, I can tell you what NOT to do.

Here are a list of tips/information/hints for this thing called motherhood... and life in general.

1. Green eye goo does not always mean something bad.

2. If your child falls off of the bed, couch or any other high object... they will be fine. As long as nothing is coming out of the soft spot on their head.

3. It is also good luck for a baby to fall off of the bed before they are a year old. Mine just so happened to fall off multiple times before a year old.

4. Pepsi in a sippy cup is ok.

5. You can use the vacuum to get your kids quiet for a minute. It is not harsh punishment.

6. Take all magnets off of your refrigerator. Your children will break them all and try to eat magnets. Magnets are not edible.

7. Do not wash your toddlers mouth out with coco butter body wash. They will like it.

8. Do not put a drop of hot sauce on their tongue when they say "shit". They will vomit and then you will be saying "shit".

9. Tampons in cardboard applicators are only good for applying eye shadow. Otherwise, they should not be made.

10. You can brush spitup and snot out of your hair.

11. Baby wipes can clean anything.

12. Go to your kitchen right now. Get your tin foil and plastic wrap. Did you do it? Do you have them in your hands? Look on the side. There is a little triangle cutout that you can push in. Push it in... on both sides... on both boxes. Never again will your whole roll come out of the box. This locks it in there. The little locks are even on the cheap tin foil and plastic wrap. You are welcome, friends.

13. Dilated pupils mean that the black of the eye is HUGE. I'm talking it takes up most of the color part of the eyeball. You will need to know this in case your toddler falls, busts her head on the cement, and is acting strangely.

14. Dirt comes off. It's ok for children to get dirty.

15. Ticks like to bite the back of the ears. No, it is not a freckle that you see. It is a tick. Immediately remove said tick and watch your child for 7 days for high fever and rash.

16. Dish washing tablets are NOT pepperonis. You may need to tell your toddler this. No, they do not look like pepperonis. I guess it was the red Dawn in the tablet that threw her off. If she eats the tablet, be sure to save what she didn't eat and that there is no plastic in her mouth. Watch her through the night.

17. All random sicknesses are viral. There is nothing the doctor can do for you. Drink lots of fluids.

18. Children will cut their hair at least once in their life. It's ok. It grows back and makes for good conversation while waiting in line at the grocery store.

19. When handing a child a juice box, go ahead and place the straw in their mouth. They will squeeze the juice box and this tip will save you from cleaning up juice box.

20. When starting solids, feed green peas first. If you can get them to like peas, they will eat anything.

21. The doctor is not always right and neither are you.

22. It is hard, and I still have not mastered this but... don't sweat the small stuff.

23. Crying in the shower, crying in the floor, crying... is ok... period. You deserve a good cry as often as you need it.

24. You will never sleep again. Give it up.

25. One day you will become use to being tired. You will learn to run on fumes. I'm almost always on empty.

26. It's ok to admit that you are breastfeeding to lose weight.

27. You haded bread crust as a child... as a mother you make them your meal.

That's all I've got for now. I'm sure I will be adding to the list.
What would you like to add?

Monday Randoms.

1. "When are you doing to blog?" I hear it at least twice a day. Today, is Monday Randoms. I am going to try to post everyday this week. It will get me back in the swing of things. I miss blogging. I miss reading and commenting on other blogs. We have just had a super busy summer.

2. Preschool starts September 8th. Is it September yet?

3. Bug is definitely in the terrible 2s. The complete meltdowns have begun. I thought she was going to be my laid back, easy one. I think I was wrong.

4. Caroline being 4 has been good for us. The sassy mouth/talking back hasn't been so good. Other than that though, 4 has been nice.

5. We had 3 birthday parties this weekend. I am partied out.

6. Ryan and I finally had a normal date night Saturday night. Dinner and a night at home with no babies. We both slept so good.

7. Speaking of the hubs... look at this hottie all spiffy in his SoPro ;-)


8. I feel like I have 8 million things to blog about. I don't even know where to begin.

9. Have I told you how much I miss the beach? I do. This was the first weekend in a long time that we haven't been.

10. I went grocery shopping alone tonight. Ahhhh... the little things that make a mother happy.

11. I'm not a hugger. I posted this as my facebook status yesterday. It is a whole blog post in itself.

12. I saw two random goats on the church steps tonight. Talk about crazy. Welcome to our little town, with one stoplight and random roaming goats. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.


13. Another huge plus of a small Southern town (you know, other than the random goats)? Kick ass BBQ on Wednesdays and Saturdays.

14. My children are allergic to clothes. (I'll blog about it)

15. I have 17 million pictures to upload and edit. I'm getting there... I'm getting there.

16. Is there anything you want to know about our summer? The girls? Let me know. I'll be sure to answer in a blog post for you. If you're lucky, you will get pictures too. ;-)

Mom suits

Thanks to my friend Carrie who showed me an awesome website... I just ordered my first mom bathing suit. I caved. I'm so weak.

Here it is...



It's cute though, right?

First the mom suit... what's next for me, you ask?

I will probably start pimping a minivan with a stick figure family, flip flops and a magnet soccer ball with Caroline's name in the middle.

I will most definitely have a license plate on the front that reads P.I.M.P.

I see the jealousy in your eyes.

My hubs could totally be on Baywatch

The early to mid 90s brought about a love for a little TV show called Baywatch.

I would watch it with my sister, Anna. If I am not mistaken, it came on at 4:00pm.

While others thought CJ Parker was great, we always loved Summer Quinn the best.

Without a doubt, Matt Brody was my lover and I had plans to marry someone just like him.

So, this past weekend when Ryan grabbed the boogie board and got in the water, I decided to snap a few pictures.

When I came across them during editing, I made up this whole story with the pictures. I laughed for a good 20 minutes.


Imagine the board has the orange Baywatch floatation device.

I told you that I knew I was going to marry someone just like Matt Brody. ;-)

I am now affectionately calling him my Baywatch Bitch.

New you vs. Old you

Updated 9:00pm EST Sunday the 25th... added #20

I pulled out my pump today to dust it off for a friend who is going to borrow it.

It brought back a lot of memories (some not so pleasant) and I decided it was best if I share a list of things to expect after having a baby. No one prepared me for it. I, however, am nice so I will clue you in.

1. Don't act like you know what a contraction is. "Oh, I've been having contractions all day," women will say. No, you haven't. You will not be able to blink, breathe, or speak during a contraction much less carry on with your daily activities.

2. The actual pushing out of the baby is not terribly painful. It doesn't feel good but you are just so ready for it to be over you don't know if you are in pain anymore.

3. The placenta feels like a blob of jelly coming out. Prepare yourself. It is freaky. Prepare your husbands for this too. Ryan was not at all prepared. He didn't see it with Caroline he was too busy all up in the nurses grill wanting to touch his new baby. However, with Bug he was asked to remind the doctors of my satellite placenta. I had a little piece of placenta attached to the bigger piece. Anyway, Ryan reminded them and they invited him over to look at it. His response afterwards, "Yours was rotten." Excuse me? "Yours was gross. It was like a big blue/black blob of veins and shit. It was rotted." Haha! Men.

4. Breastfeeding is a bitch. I strictly breastfed Caroline for 6 weeks. No pumping. No bottle. Just boobs and more boobs. Don't do this to yourself. Put the baby to breast as much as possible but pump and bottle feed some too. A bottle never killed anyone.

5. Prepare yourself for the pain of milk. You will request that no one come within 15 feet of you. Lord forbid someone accidentally run into you. Also, the shower... you might need to wrap those suckers up. The water pressure is killer on those sensitive hoots.

6. This one is a biggie for me. I had just started breastfeeding and flipped out because milk was coming out of multiple holes. I NEVER KNEW! I just thought there was one hole. There are many. Prepare yourself. I thought I was some sort of alien mother with multiple milk holes.

7. If you need a Xanax, you need a Xanax. Here's what you do, if you are having a bad week, decide you are going to take one. Say you decide on Tuesday you need one. Pump as much as possible and breast feed too. Get your frozen milk supply up. Wednesday, take your Xanax and just pump and dump. Strictly bottle feed for 24 hours. I am no doctor but I know those first 2 weeks are hell on Earth and any normal human being needs some type of nerve medication. A little Xanax never hurt anyone.

8. Laying in the middle of the floor rocking back and forth crying... totally normal.

9. Knock down drag out fights between you and the sperm donor... totally normal.

10. Referring to your husband as "sperm donor"... totally normal.

11. Massive hair loss is normal.

12. Ginormous areolas are normal. The sperm donor referring to them as "Ethiopian nipples" in front of company... not normal (true story). You must kick his ass for this.

13. The baby will not sleep.

14. People will tell you to nap when the baby naps. It isn't going to happen. You will become use to the sleep deprivation over the next 4+ years.

15. You will say you need a break. When the time actually comes for your first date night, you will have a nervous breakdown. None of your clothes will fit and you will have massive anxiety about leaving your baby. It gets better but it is super terrible to begin with.

16. Breastfeeding makes you skinny but so does the stress of having a baby. "See, breastfeeding has made you lose that baby weight already!" No, I don't eat or sleep. I look like a crackhead that smells like spitup.

17. Formula spitup is MUCH worse than breast milk. It smells horrible!

18. Crying in the shower is wonderful. You are all alone for 5 seconds so let it out... just be sure to cover your sensitive boobs.

19. It is ok to cry over spilled milk ESPECIALLY if that milk is breast milk.

20. And how could I forget that fact that after having a baby you get to wear a huge maxi pad for a least 6 weeks (thank you Kelly for reminding me). However, those cotton panties that come in a bag that they give you at the hospital rock. I LOVELOVELOVE them. They are the most comfortable things you will ever put on your body. Yes, I still have 3 pairs in my underwear draw. I hide them at the back. (true story)

21. You will no longer have bladder control. I'm talking you will pee your pants when you sneeze, jump on a trampoline, or laugh too hard (thanks for the reminder Mira.) The sperm donor will become use to this and eventually except the fact that you pee your pants more than your toddler. He will just chuckle and shake his head every time it happens.

22. People will tell you, "Things will get back to normal soon. Things will get better soon." I'm going to be honest. You will never be normal again. That's what becoming a parent means. You will learn to be an awesome multi-tasker. You will be able to brush your toddler's teeth and feed your infant all while tee-teeing on the potty. You will learn to do things you never thought possible. You will learn to clean up vomit without even gaging. You will learn how to get crayon off of the wall and permanent mark off of your favorite shirt. You will learn how to still look cute with your hair in a ponytail. You will make a new normal. A parent normal. The normal you that you are use to... she's long gone. You will miss her sometimes then you will look around and realize how awesome your life is. The new you would kick the old you's ass.

Friday Randoms

1. We had a fabulous weekend (a little late I know). 4 days of the beach was awesome.

2. Saturday night we had dinner and Chefs 105. I had the most delicious burger topped with pominto cheese and bacon. It was amazing. The dinner was complete with an order of parmesan herb frites and a raspberry, white chocolate cremem brulee for dessert. I'm still thinking about the amazing meal almost a week later.

3. I played bunco for the first time last night. I played with a group of fabulous girls that I hope to get to know better in the next few months.

4. No more randoms to report. No pictures either... unless you want to see a yard Ryan is landscaping. Yeah, I didn't think so.

Hopefully a fabulous weekend is to come with lots of pictures.

Random updates

1. My doctor's appointment went well. The doctor said that the spot definitely looked abnormal but was pretty sure everything was fine. I will have final results in 7 days. Thanks for the thoughts and prayers.

2. GNO was a success. We went to the Star Light Cafe. I had the Belgian Frites with garlic aioli, malt vinegar, and ketchup for dipping. They were delicious! For my meal I had an arugula salad topped with cantaloupe, tiny country ham slices and mint dressing. It was probably the best salad I've ever had. For dessert we headed to Your Perfect Cake for the best cupcake I've ever had. I inhaled it. It was butter cake with cream cheese icing topped with heath bar toffee pieces. So yum!

3. I was finally editing pictures and saw this one. I couldn't help but to laugh out loud! This picture is soooo her... up and down. Too funny!


4. We hope everyone has a fun and safe 4th of July weekend!

Tick off Tuesday on Wednesday

Dear lady at the beach,
Do you realize that your skin is the same color as the Bud Light bottle you are holding? Not.cute. It would be wise to spray sunscreen on your body instead of afro-sheen. I'm just sayin'. You should totally start working for UPS. You wouldn't even have to wear the uniforms... your skin would do the job. You are not healthy.

Sincerely,
Concerned bystander who is applying sunscreen, with a hat on, sitting under an umbrella

PS- You have 2 sweet white marks under both butt cheeks. Tanning bed much?

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I found a small spot on my leg. I don't think it is anything but I am going to the dermatologist this morning. Say a little prayer if you think about it.

Random Tuesday. . . with only one really gross picture

1. I want to take ballet. Seriously. Ballet. I want to be a ballerina. You laugh. Think about what great exercise it would be.

2. A few of you saw my facebook status asking what was on your summer playlist. To the rest of you, tell me. What is on your summer playlist?

3. I have called Caroline by her real name a lot lately. She still prefers Pam on occasion. I can't wait to see what name she comes up with this week.

4. Emma fell down the stairs a few days ago. I screamed. Thank God I keep clutter on my stairs because an empty box of diapers caught her. Next time you come over and wonder why there is an empty diaper box, clothes and shoes on the stairs... know that it is because it serves as a life saving device for my youngest child. I thought she was dead. She was just scared to death. No injuries.

5. Ashlyn just sent me a new tutu. I LOVE it! I can't wait to get some fabulous pictures. It is so beachy and beautiful.

6. Mom bought me a new phone, FINALLY! My sister and I now have matching Droids. Let me tell you, this phone is awesome. It does everything. I thought my blackberry was great. Well, going from a blackberry to a droid was like "going from a Pinto to an Escalade" (verizon salesman's exact words).

7. I publicly admitted today that I put Sun-In in my children's hair. No judgement please.

8. Caroline drank a whole bottle of Fruit2O last night. Is that normal? She drank it really fast.

9. What type of razor do you use? I use Ryan's because every razor I buy is terrible and doesn't get my legs as smooth as I like. Yes, it makes him angry. Therefore, I am asking for your help.

10. My blog was down for a little while a few days ago. Google said my account had been compromised. So, if you get a random e-mail from me do not open it. Sorry.

11. Girls night tomorrow! Yayy!

12. Fact that you probably don't know about me: I want a tattoo of a script L on my wrist. I just wish it didn't last forever. I'm sure I would be sick of it after a few days.

13. Caroline had dance camp last week. She loved it.

14. Have I ever told you that Caroline can flatulate on command? She can. Sometimes I wonder if she is really my child.

15. I have to plan Caroline's birthday party.

16. Our laptop cord died. Ryan went to buy one and the universal cord was like $110. What in the world? That is ridiculous.

17. In case you don't know my husband, let me tell you a little about him. When he gets something on his mind, he doesn't stop until he gets it. A few months ago we looked everywhere between here and Charlotte for a certain pair of Merrell shoes. Never found them. We found out later they didn't make the particular shoe he wanted. So, he gave up. Then he moved on to a kayak. Yes, a kayak. He has been wanting one. Long story short, he got one this past weekend. He was coming in from his second paddling expedition when he slipped and fell on an oyster shell. One urgent care trip, a big dose of lidocaine, lots of scrubbing of the wound, and 8 stitches later... he's all good.


Not the best quality picture. Taken with my phone.

18. I have a ton of pictures to upload and edited. I'll post again soon!