Banned from the Splash Pad.

Dear Caroline,

We went to the splash park with friends the other day. You had a fabulous time. We had a fabulous time.

Mommy totally wore her blue string bikini, thinking no other parents would be there that early in the morning. WRONG. I frolicked in the water with you and Em anyway. Showing off the stretch marks and sagging boobs that you girls blessed me with. I just had a pedicure so at least my feet looked fabulous. It was funny to watch the moms on the other side of the splash pad eye me as if I was committing so sort of terrible crime. Like I said, Mama frolicked anyway!

You played with your friends and then decided it was time for snacks. After eating all of Kari's fruit you decided to share Doritos with your friends. You drank your blue juice box. Halfway through snack time, you began crying. You did your usual... cry, get worked up, get hot, cry some more, then vomit. Yes, you decided to work yourself up to the point of spewing vomit everywhere. As if the snotty moms across the splash pad weren't talking about me enough... you had to go vomit. Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Why must you vomit when you get upset? It really is getting old. It is out of control. So from now on when we are out in public, can you please keep your vomit to yourself?

Love Always,
Mom

PS- Blue (juice box) and yellowish/orangish (doritos) clearly makes green. A bright, vomit green.

PPS- I may or may not have yelled dammit at the splash pad. I was all worked up too and I can't remember. I'm pretty sure if the other moms heard me say that, they would damn me to hell.