Tuesday, May 5, 2009

One husband for sale.

We went out to dinner Saturday night with another couple.

We always enjoy our dinners out... childless.

It gives us time to be... ummm... adults.

On the way to dinner, a conversation about birth began. (My best friend is preggo. That is why we started talking about giving birth.)

"It's terrible. It's not something you want to do on a day to day basis"

"What can you compare it too?"

"Nothing. Giving birth. That's the only way to describe it. It hurts like a S.O.B."

Ryan: "OH! It doesn't hurt!"

The whole car decided to get quiet.

I think that they knew it was best to not add fuel to my fire.

I saw steam come out of my ears, nose, mouth.

It was on.

I started sweating.

"When you decide to push a cantaloupe out of you, come talk to me. I pushed a freaking watermelon out of me. A watermelon! Have you ever held a watermelon?"

My fun night was over. O.V.E.R. Over before it even began.

Jerkface.

I will not repeat the rest of the conversation. Just know, it was taken care of.

P.S.- If you find my husband for sale on CraigsList, you know why.

4 comments:

Heather said...

If men only knew how easy they have it!!!! That would have ticked me off too!!!

Ellen said...

Oh Ryan, you know better than that!!! You never tell a woman that giving birth doesn't hurt. Next time a thought like that crosses your mind, stick your foot in your mouth.

Krystyn said...

I'm not a mean person, but I just might be wishing a kidney stone on Ryan...just saying.

Haley Nicodemus said...

Well Happy Mother's Day to you - the girl that has pushed out two watermelons!