Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Just pay for it.

My dad is not the type of guy that likes plastic women.

Anyway, while sitting at the beach this weekend, drinking a Pomegranate Raspberry Bartles & Jaymes (for the first time), with my gut hanging over my shorts... I had a conversation with my Dad. It went a little something like this...

Me: "So Dad, I've been thinking. I need plastic surgery."

Jay: "Whattttt? Oh, nawww."

Me: "Dad... I mean I really need it. I want a little lift of the boobs (I lifted my boobs to show the appropriate position they should be in) and a little implant. I mean not big at all. Oh, and I want laser therapy for my stretch marks."

Silence.

Me: "Dad, I NEED it... really bad. I just NEED it done."

Jay: "No. Do you know what you need? You need an ab lounge."

Everyone got a kick out of that.

Everyone but me.

Just pay for the plastic surgery, Dad.

It is inevitable. I will have boobs with or with out your help.

Obviously he is not going to help me.

So, excuse me while I go sling my boobs over my shoulders and show off my stretch marks.

Be jealous.

8 comments:

Dana said...

I love it! After this baby in a year or so I am getting my veins zapped and laser for my strech marks as well. As for the boobs I haven't gotten to that point yet. We will see what is left of them after Anna Kate!

Jamie said...

Not that you need it but if it is what you really want I say go for it! Surgery hurts!!! But the results are great!

Jewel said...

hahahaha....your dad sounds hilarious :) Keep workin' on him!

Kari said...

Oh my word. You made me snort. Thanks for that.

Midwest Mommy said...

He needs to read my "Beaver Tails" post, it might just convince him to help you out, lol.

Emilie said...

I totally understand your loathing of your stretch marks as I have them pretty bad too! They drive me nuts! As far as my boobs I'd rather have a reduction but am too afraid to take any measures other than a more supportive bra! :) Good luck!

Thanks for clicking for my son with his balloons on topmomma.com

Krystyn said...

Can he please pay for mine, too? Uggghhh...I'm so over my boobs!

Haley Nicodemus said...

So that's what I have to look forward to? Boob convos with my dad?