Thursday, August 30, 2012

Cats Yuck

I hate cats.

Let me rephrase that... I hate cats with a passion.

They make me sneeze.

They make my eyes swell and water.

They make me feel like I have a three ton elephant on my chest.

I am gasping for air just thinking about it!

Have you ever noticed that when you hate an animal, that certain animal loves you?

It was no surprise when this little thing showed up on my doorstep.


I screamed.

I panicked.

What the hell am I going to do?

Who does this little itty bitty thing belong to??

HELP!

Thank God my sister was here and went to the rescue.

She loves cats.

Weird.

Anyway, she picked him/her up and we walked to my neighbors house.

She verified that it was her new kitten, Oreo.

Properly named being that he/she is black and white.



She informed me that Oreo is a wanderer but would come back home.

"Not to worry," she said.

Well, not really.  She doesn't talk like that.  But she said something along those lines.

So, everyday for the past month this little itty bitty kitten, Oreo, has shown up on my doorstep.

He/she just lays there.


ALL DAY!

It is all Ryan's fault.

He came home one day and informed the girls that cats LOVE milk.

"Let's give Oreo MILK," they squealed.

I coldly told them "NO!"

Ryan did it anyway.



Do you know what happens when you feed a cat?

They NEVER go away.  They keep coming back for more.

Fabulous.


There are a few that are ok with the cat.

Emma is smitten with the kitten.  She has even gained enough courage to hold the cat.  The cat just lays in her arms.  He/she doesn't try to fight it anymore


My Dad was all, "It's nice to have a cat around, Hailey.  Cats keep other animals (umm, rodents) away."

Too bad this cat hasn't done anything.

Zoey, though, is a champ of rodent killing.  She is slowly digging up the backyard looking for a mole.  She has also brought us birds, june bugs, turtles, july flies and a mouse.  I wasn't at home for the mouse situation... thank God!

Dog catches animals while cat lounges on the front porch sipping milk.

No wonder I hate cats.  What assholes.


(This picture just happened to be the cat's butt because the stupid thing pounced on Emma's foot right before this shot.  Jerk.  Good thing the picture went along with my last statement though.  Score.)

No comments: