Friday, September 4, 2009

I think I was just messed up.

She's making it seem so easy.

My best friend that is. She is at home with a 9 day old newborn. She is breastfeeding. She has her stuff somewhat together. She hasn't called me crying once.

I don't wish stress on her but what the heck? Why were those first two weeks with my first newborn so hard?

Am I the only one that prayed for those first two weeks of newborn hell to be over?

Am I the only one that wanted to just shove that kid right back up my vagina and go about my merry way?

Am I the only one that cried when my boobs leaked?

Am I the only one that cried when I spilled milk as I was pumping?

Am I the only one that thought the world had ended when I lost my beloved nipple shield? I'm talking Ryan and I were on our hands and knees searching every inch of the living room.

Am I the only one that was so sleep deprived that at one point I probably couldn't tell you my name?

Am I the only one that put my newborn in the bed with me because it was the only way that any of us could get any sleep?

Am I the only one that would put their infant in the carseat and placed the vacuum right beside them to make her STOP CRYING FOR TWO SECONDS?

Am I the only one that googled "Is it ok that newborn infant sneezes?"? Seriously. I was a google freak. I still am.

Am I the only one that saved poopy diapers for my Mom to inspect to make sure they were the right color and consistency? (To my defense, my Mom is a newborn nursery nurse. She deals with baby poop everyday.)

Am I the only one that cried when I gave my child her first bottle of Enfamil at 6-weeks? Before that, I strictly breast fed and used breast milk to mix her cereal.

Am I the only one that felt as if I lost my mind in those two weeks? {3 years later, I wonder if I will ever be normal again.}

Am I the only one that got happy medicine when baby number two came?

Please tell me that I am not insane. {Even if you really think that I am}

As for the BFF? She is packing up and heading to the beach with the baby. By herself. Where did I go wrong, people?

5 comments:

Krystyn said...

No..you are not alone! That's all I'll say...well, I'll say this. I think the first two weeks were okay, it was when the colic started that things really sucked!

Jamie said...

Well lets just say that I could write this same post except mine was good until about 2 months and then I wanted to shove an 11 pounder in even though it killed me to get a 8 pounder out hahahha! I am filling out a will right now which is probably not a good idea since I haven't slept in 3 months! There's no telling what it is going to say hahahah!

Diana said...

No you are not! She's heading to the beach??? YEa right! That would not have happened during my first 9 days with a new born for sure!

Jamie, why are you writing your will?

Heather said...

You are not alone! That was me exactly! I would have gone through labor all over just to have one night of sleep. Thank God it gets easier!

OHmommy said...

You know what? I was thinking THE same thing Hailey. My BFF is having no issues with her newborn. I asked her why not? She said she has heard all of my problems and what not and realized just to go with the flow. And she is right. She is way more relaxed.