Where I admit to sometimes being a materialistic-whiny-bitch-mom

I had a mild heart attack last night.

I walked into Caroline's room to get PJs ready. Her disaster of a room was... well, a disaster. More so than usual due to the fact that I kept another 3 year old little girl yesterday.

I was searching everywhere for matching PJs. That's when I saw it.

Her dolls were missing. ALL of them. Not just any dolls either. Her Madame Alexander dolls that I placed high on a shelf. A shelf that I spent 2 hours hanging. Dolls that were mine and my sister's. Dolls that are valuable. Dolls that I wanted Caroline and Emma to pass down to their babies. GONE!

My heart stopped. I frantically searched for the dolls. Entangled in a huge pile of clothes I saw a shimmer of silver. The Tin Man. He really does have a heart. He helped me find the rest of his little family. He was ready to be rescued and I was ready to rescue him.

I pulled dolls out of the clothes one by one. As I placed Dorothy's red slippers back on her feet and Little Red Riding Hood's cape back on her head, tears made it difficult to see. I was just before one of those lay-in-the-floor-uncontrollable-crying-moments.

How in her 4 years of life has she NEVER touched those dolls until today? It was never really a discussion that we had because she never had interest in them.

For a small moment, I thought of Tori Spelling's book Stori Telling. She talks about how each birthday she received a Madame Alexander doll. After opening that beautiful box and seeing the beautiful doll laying inside, her mother would whisk it away to be put in her doll cabinet. Obviously Tori had a problem with this and it led to lots of issues with her mother. To be honest, I totally understand why Candy didn't want Tori playing with the dolls. They are not play toys.

As I dug through the clothes, I found all kinds of doll clothing. Then I saw it. As if things couldn't get worse. Miss. Gulch's arm. Hopefully arm number two is still in place. Wrong. I found Miss. Gulch's body... missing two arms. I wanted to crawl in a hole.

After seeing that, I knew nothing could get much worse. There was a small moment after though that I almost panicked because I couldn't find the Tin Man's hat. I calmed down, wiped my tears and had a come to Jesus meeting with myself.

"Why am I so upset? They are just dolls. They can be fixed. They can be replaced. It is not the end of the world."

Better.

I thought about taking the dolls out of Caroline's room. However, that is unfair. They are beautiful dolls and they are meant to be displayed.

Today, I am a changed woman. I'm different. I stand on my shelf, head held high. Even though I acted like a nutjob last night over dolls, I learned that they are just dolls. Caroline knows to never touch them again but I secretly know that if she does it will be ok.

As for Miss. Gulch, that's a different story. She stands proudly back upon her long white shelf. This time she looks a little different. She has no arms. That is what happens when you are mean, bad witch.

Lesson learned.

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Someplace where there isn't any trouble... do you suppose there is such a place, Toto? There must be. It's not a place you can get to by a boat or train. It's far, far away... beyond the moon... beyond the rain.