Confessions of a SAHM

Dear Husband,

I have a few confessions to make. Yes, confessions.

Let me start off by saying... I'm sorry.

Confession Numero Uno... I DO secretly use your razor. I then secretly dry it off and place it back in the exact same spot I took it from. For this, I am sorry. Let me explain. Your razor blades are better than mine. Your razor gives me the smoothest legs. I'm talking baby butt smooth.

Confession Number Two... You married a girl that can't wash clothes. I know that you are aware of this though. In our short 3 years of marriage, I understand that I have destroyed at least 7 of your Polo shirts. I am not even going to mention all the t-shirts and pants that have been ruined. Pens. Ink pens. They, my husband, were the cause of death to your clothing. We got past it. Than, I washed a paycheck AND about $185 dollars. We found $85 of it. It was nice, crisp, washed and dried. $100 was never found. The check? As you know, this was another story. It was washed to pieces. Enough about the past. I have been on a great washing streak. I should have known that today I was doomed. I began washing a load of darks on Sunday night. Today is Tuesday and they were just done washing. You see, I put them in the washer with all intentions of drying them AND folding them that day. It didn't happen. So, I REWASHED them yesterday. I never dried OR folded them. So today was the day. It was the day that they were completed. I washed them. I dried them. I began to fold. I noticed what seemed to be oily spots all over your shirts. What the H is that, I asked myself. Then I found it. ChapStick. Medicated ChapStick. The same ChapStick that I have been searching for since Sunday. I wonder why I couldn't find it. So, dear husband, your clothes were not washed once OR twice BUT THREE times with ChapStick. I stashed the ChapStick quickly under the couch where it will probably stay for the next 4 months. I kindly folded your ChapStick stained clothes and put them away. So, tomorrow when you ask what those spots on your shirt are... I am going to pretend that I don't know. I am only going to pretend that I don't know because admitting that I possibly ruined more clothes is like admitting that I have been defeated. I refuse to do it. So, I have NO IDEA what those oily spots on your shirt are. Just be grateful that they are FINALLY washed and folded.

Proverbs 31:10 says, "It is hard to find an excellent wife. She is worth more than rubies."

How much am I worth? I say I'm worth more than the Cullinan Diamond... and that, my husband, is A LOT! I'm an excellent wife. Bad washer and all. Admit it. I'm great.

Love you always,

Hay

Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.


I did not find Caroline and Emma asleep at the same time... in the same position... sleeping just like Ryan.

I did not grab the camera.



I did not bust out laughing when my FIL asked my MIL if her fingernails were "pasties". I most definitely did not reply, "Pasties are those things that cover your nipples." WHAT? You see I would never say the word "nipples" in front of my FIL. That would be weird!

I did not tell Caroline that Santa was watching her... more than once this week. Who uses Santa in February? Shouldn't I use the Easter Bunny?

I did not discover my saving grace tonight. I did not steal the idea from MckMama. I did not let Caroline play in a sink full of water. She did not have cups and spoon to play with either. She did not have a ball.

I did not walk in on my mom and sister doing random cheerleading moves in my Mom's kitchen the other day. My mom did not beg me to try a jump. I did not refuse because I was scared I would pee my pants. My sister did not agree with me saying, "MOM! Stop! She pees her pants every time that she sneezes. She can't control it." Way to make me feel good about myself, Anna. Thanks! That is why your scarf had vomit all over it.

I did not promise myself to limit my "Red Carpet" talk.

Here it goes...

I did not love my Sarah Jessica Parker in Dior Couture. Smashingly beautiful. She called the color "barely mint." ONLY Sarah Jessica could say such a thing.



My heart did not skip a beat when I first saw these two.


They are not beautiful. Not one little bit.

This is not an extremely short Not Me! Monday post. I am not exhausted. I am not ready to go to bed.

Latest hip accessory.

My fabulous sister let me borrow her Coach scarf.

This is not it. Anna's is a pretty camel. This is the only picture of the Coach Diagonal Lozenge Muffler Scarf that I could find. This one is navy.


Anyway.

Like I said, Anna was nice enough to let me borrow her cute scarf.

She is on a snowboarding trip this weekend. I remembered I had the scarf and called her. She came over before she left and picked it up.

I received this text message the day she arrived in Snowshoe, WV.


I sat and imagined her snowboarding. Looking super cute. Cute hat. Cute coat. Cute scarf. Cute bibs. Great boots. Little did she know that she would have the latest hip accessory on as well. Spit up.

Lil' Squirt Tees

McMommy's first winner didn't respond.

McMommy asked someone to randomly pick a number.

cutiebootycakes (also known as Renee) said 46.

I won.

I was beyond excited.

What did I win you ask?

Check it.




How cute!

This onesie will be the center of many conversations.

I love it!

I can't wait for Sunday lunch at the Grandparents'... having a 15 minute conversation on what "MILF" means. Good times!
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Go HERE to see more super funny shirts and onesies for baby.

PSF- My bags.

This is my new bag. I won it from Lillana at The CheapChica's Guide to Style. It is a Ferris & Mor that Shop Suey Boutique calls the Marla Satchel bag. They were sold out of the brown so I chose for the fabulous people at Shop Suey to send me a blue one. I love it. It is the best bag I have had in years. It is everything I love in a bag. Thanks Lillana!
Now for what you see inside...

1. My HotSling

2. Em's Zooni hat

3. Snake skin looking wallet from Che Bella in Greenville, NC. It is an Amici Accessories wallet. I can't seem to find mine on the website ( I bought mine about a year ago). However, there are lots of cute ones!

4. $20 that I need to put in the wallet

5. Em's shoes

6. Sonia Kashuk lip gloss from Target (color: Splendid 02)

7. Victoria's Secret Beauty Rush lip gloss (color: unknown)

8. Empty Starbucks card that Anna left in my car (Remember my love of the salted caramel hot chocolate?!)

9. Food Lion MVP card

10. Em's pacifier

11. Cellular device

12. 7 pieces of gum

NOW for the diaper bag. This was scary!




This is my Petunia Pickle Bottom. She is the love of my life.

Inside:
1 bag of half eaten Cheez-Its

1 bulb syringe (known at our house as "The Snuffleupagus")

1 pack of Enfamil with Lipil. Emma doesn't even drink this. She drinks Enfamil Enfacare. I had these little packs though that need to be used before April and I have 3 boxs. I through them in the diaper bag in case I forget her regular milk. It saved me on Wednesday while out to lunch. I left her milk at home. My pack of the wrong milk came to my rescue.

4 candy wrappers- I am blaming this one on Caroline

1 bottle cap- You don't even want to know what kind of bottle cap. My question is "WHY was it in my diaper bag?"

2 pacifiers

1 "Please wash your hands before touching mine" tag

1 pair of Popcicle BabyLegs

1 of Caroline's hair bands

1 of Caroline's dirty socks- Weird. Gross. That is all about that.

1 pair of Emma's socks- We are always losing socks so I always carry a pair

3 small toys for Em

1 BB with Em's name on it. She enjoys holding this while she sleeps.

7 diapers

1 box of wipes- Normally I am a Pampers girl. However, one day I tried the Huggies Soft Skin Shea Butter wipes and fell in love. The smell is delicious.

1 black shoulder strap for my diaper bag- I keep it in my diaper bag if I ever need it. I always wear it like a backpack though because it is easier that way.

Why I didn't post.

Yesterday was fabulous.

It started with waking up late and an over-cooked egg.

Followed by spitup, vomit, tantrums, flying food, naked bodies, wet clothes, playing in the toilet, more tantrums, no naps.

I ended my day with a steak dinner, a passed out two-year old at the table, an under-cooked baked potato and a glass of wine.

I topped it all off with Grey's and Private Practice and my last Reese's heart that I made last through BOTH shows. I savored it.

THAT, my friends, is why I had no time to post yesterday.

Now, on to PSF.

Wordless Wednesday- Dear God. Please help her.

Yes. She is in a babydoll stroller.

Me B.C.

I was getting in the shower the other day when I looked down and noticed my magazine basket. The same magazine basket that hasn't been updated in 2 years.

Vogue, Elle, Bazaar, InStyle. I whipped out a whopping $17.29 every month on magazines. I knew exactly what day my Target put them out on the shelves.

Those magazines that sit in my bathroom got me thinking.

I think that people should know the Hailey B.C.

Before Children.

I am sure you all are DYING to know.

Let's rewind.

Meet Hailey. Circa 2005.

I read Vogue cover to cover. I never skipped a page.

I secretly wanted to run with the likes of Margarita Missoni, Kate Moss, Sienna Miller, Gisele Bundchen.

I longed for a pair of Manolos, Jimmy Choos and Louboutins. (Ok, ok. Maybe I still do.)

I saw a Chanel tweed suit and a pair of pearls as a staple in the closet of very classy women.

I wondered aimlessly in the cold, braless because it was "beautiful" and "in". (If I did that now you would have to search for my nipples, only to find them close to my belly button. Just a FYI.)

A Missoni bikini and Blumarine dresses sent my heart aflutter.

I would have given my right arm for a Balenciaga Motorcycle bag.

I went as far as to buy 4 of the same pocketbook (different colors of course) at Target that year because they slightly resembled the Balenciaga bag I longed for.

I also bought a fabulous gypsy skirt because the stitching reminded me of a Jean Paul Gaultier.

Carrie Bradshaw was my idol.

I was in school to become a teacher but envied girls that got to work with Anna Wintour. (Can you imagine!?)

Fast-forward 4 years.

Oh my, how my life has changed. It is a great life but it has changed.

After having Caroline, I started getting Vogue in the mail because I didn't have time to go to Target. The magazine would spend WEEKS in the plastic waiting to be read. I didn't have time to shower much less sit down and read a magazine.

Now that I have two babies, my wants have changed so much. I want all things baby.

Yes. I still want a fabulous pair of shoes. My other wants are very different than before.

Now, I long for a Phil and Ted's and a Maclaren.

Sanita shoes and Baby Juicy send my heart aflutter. (Caroline is so cute in both! Her Juicy socks say "Smells like Couture" on the bottom. Cuteness.)

My Petunia Picklebottom is my new Balenciaga Motorcycle bag.

Tonight I realized just how much my life has changed. I realized how much I love where I am and who I have become.

Don't get me wrong though. Being newly married with two children IS difficult (By "newly married" I mean we have been married for almost 3 years. We are still new at the whole married thing). I realized that I DO need time for myself. So I made a promise. I promised myself to go buy Vogue every month. I promised to spend that whole month looking and reading and wanting and living in my fairy tale world for just a few minutes everyday. This will be my escape from the world of crying babies, poopie diapers, fits of anger, food being thrown. Everyday I will devote at least 30 minutes to myself. To myself and Vogue.

Move over babies. Vogue, here I come. It has been WAY to long.

Emma's Story.

Click here.

Emma's story is up. Just click on her picture.

Not Me! Monday.

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I did not have an excellent Valentine's Day.

The hubs did not take me to a fabulous Japanese steakhouse in a neighboring town on Friday night for our Valentine dinner.

I did not eat everything but the legs under the table.

I did not order a Japanese buffalo chicken hibachi dinner complete with chicken soup and a salad with sesame dressing.

I also did not eat some of the hubs sushi for the first time ever.

I did not fall in love with it. Two words for you... Volcano. Roll. De-freaking-licious!

These are not the details of a volcano roll... Crab, Avocado, Cucumber inside. Torched variety sauce w/ Crab & Tobiko on top.

I did not come home and google Tobiko. I did not gag a little. I then did not think to myself, "Oh well. It was still fabulously delicious!"

I did not drink a cosmo that night either.

The hubs did not have to work on the real Valentine's Day.

Caroline and I did not make these rice krispie treats and cupcakes with homemade buttercream icing for the hubs.

He did not come home and surprise all three of his girls with gifts.

We were not excited.

I was not up all night with Em Saturday night. She did not scream all night.

I was not exhausted yesterday.

I did not cook collards for the hubs.

They were not delicious.

I did not fall asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow last night.

I did not wake up at 8:23am this morning. That would be silly because I do not have to leave at 8:30 to take Caroline to preschool.

We were not late.

I did not eat a cupcake for breakfast.

I did not contemplate at any time this week to just leave Em's carseat in the bathroom. This would not help me out a lot! I do not have to take her with me everywhere I go... even the bathroom. She does not sit on my lap while I tee-tee. Therefore, having the carseat in the bathroom does not make my life so much easier.

Caroline did not say, "I'm going to beat Carey's ass!" I did not look at her with flames coming out of my ears and nose. She does not call Carey "Bubba" so I know that she did not hear this phrase from someone. We don't say ass. I did not get on my hands and knees and pray that she does not say this at school or church. Geez.

Caroline did not inform me that Em's name is Emma Raegan Bug.

Caroline does not have terrible flatulence. I also did not ask God to please let her not pass any at school. They might kick her out.

I did not write this Not Me! Monday post while holding Em and only using one hand. That would mean that I am superwoman.

WINNERS!

Random.org was...well.. it wasn'y very random.

Here are my first two numbers...


Yes, 4 and 4. Random, huh?

So, obviously Our Crazy Life is one of our winners. Random.org loved your number!

I then reset it to only pick one number...


Yes, number 7.

That was Dana. YAY!!

Congrats girls!

Look for an e-mail from me in your inbox.

This week on Be Serious...

1. Giveaway Winner

2. Not Me! Monday

3. Wordless Wednesday... or it could be Wordlessful Wednesday like last week

4. What's in my bag?

5. PhotoStory Friday

I can't stop...

...looking at this picture.



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Don't forget to check out my giveaway!

Me, me, me.

Don't forget to check out my giveaway!
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Lately people have been doing this and I thought it would be fun.

So, here are some things that you may or may not know about me. Enjoy.

1. I cut or bite my fingernails everyday. I freak out when I see any white on my nails.

2. I don't like heights.

3. I like cheap wine.

4. I enjoy cooking because the hubs enjoys eating.

5. I have terrible hair. It is half curly and half straight. This equals frizz.

6. I don't wear make-up often. I never have.

7. I married my high school sweetheart.

8. I hated high school.

9. My middle name is Brianna. Well, really my middle name is now Hill which is my maiden name. Sometimes I wonder why I didn't put my first, middle, maiden, and last name on everything. 4 names is the new trend in Hollywood. I would have been cool.

10. I hate flossing. The sound of it grosses me out.

11. I can't listen to Ryan brush his teeth. It makes me want to throw up.

12. I have only been on a plane once.

13. I went to space camp in 8th grade. I flew to Huntsville, Alabama. It was so fun.

14. My sister is my best friend.

15. I have a list of things I want to do before I'm 30. I have 6 years left to do them.

16. I love fixing stuff and building stuff. I have my own set of magnetic screw drivers. WOOT WOOT! Be jealous!

17. I love math but I can't do it in my head. Ryan is a whiz at it. He can calculate anything in his head in less than 6 seconds.

18. I love pizza.

19. I have terrible OCD. That is a whole post in itself.

20. I am very superstitious. I don't split the pole or walk under ladders. I put an "X" over black cats that cross my path. If I forget something and I have to come back in the house, I sit down... cross my legs... and say "Bring me no bad luck." If I spill salt, I throw a pinch of it over my right shoulder. I can't help it. That's just me.

21. 21 is one of my favorite numbers. I was married on April 21st. Caroline was born on July 21st. I was 21 that year. 26 is my other favorite number. I was born on March 26th and Emma was born on September 26th. Ryan was born September 8th but 8 is not one of my favorite numbers. (Sorry, Ry.)

22. I love shoes. I cried for a pair of cowboy boots (in the store) and Ryan finally bought them for me. :-)

23. I hate wearing shoes but I love buying shoes. On any given day you will find my barefoot. In the summer I only wear shoes if I go somewhere.

24. I still sleep with a blanket. We will pretend that you don't know that about my 23/almost 24 year old self.

25. I hate to clean but I love to vacuum.

26. When I was little, I wanted to name my child Evian Bouvier. Stop laughing.

27. I am a coat fanatic. To bad that I live in Eastern North Carolina... where it never gets terribly cold.

28. I hate sand but I love the beach.

29. I love the way carbon copies smell.

30. I believe in Karma... what goes around comes around, right?

PSF- The grass may not always be greener on the other side

This time it is.


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Don't forget to check out my giveaway!

We won.

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Don't forget to check out my giveaway!

That is all.

Take a guess. It isn't that hard.

What is special about this?

The website isn't fully up and running yet. You can't click on anything. Just look at the pictures.

So what is it? What is special?

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Don't forget to check out my giveaway!

Sharing.

Don't forget to check out my giveaway!

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Caroline: "I want to lay beside EmEm."

Hailey: "No, Caroline. You might push Em off of the couch."

Caroline: "Me be gentle."

Hailey: "Caroline, no."

Caroline tries to climb up beside Em.

Hailey: "Caroline! I said NO!"

Caroline: "MOMMY! SHARE!!"

Hailey: "What?"

Caroline: "MOMMY YOU SHARE!"

She wanted me to "share" Em. Oh well. At least she knows what "share" means.

Wordlessful Wednesday.

Meet Cynthiaa.

I just started following her on twitter.

Cynthiaa was pregnant with a baby boy named Aiden.

She calls him "Bug". (That's what we call Em.)

On February 2nd at 11:23am Aiden James was born into Heaven.

It breaks my heart to read her tweets. It breaks my heart to not know what to say. All we can do is pray for her peace and strength. Pray that God will get her through such a difficult time.

So today was the day for a balloon release for Aiden Bug. February 11th. Today was also the day that Cynthiaa laid her precious baby boy to rest here on Earth.

I woke up this morning planning in my head how my day would go. I needed to get Caroline to preschool, get a dress, get blue balloons for Aiden... and I stopped. I stopped and said a prayer. A prayer for a hurting mother that doesn't know what to do. A prayer for a mother who has lost like no one should lose.

I got Caroline to school on time.

I got a speeding ticket on the way home. I was about to cry and be dramatic about it all and remembered Cynthiaa. Remember what Cynthiaa is dealing with right now.

I got Caroline's dress.

I made my way to the balloon store.

"Two blue balloons please."

"Oh. What are they for?"

"A balloon release for a baby that was born into Heaven."

"I'm so sorry for your friend."

"I don't know her really. I blog. She blogs. I found her blog. I read. Anyway, a lot of mommies in the blogging world are doing this today."

"I wish I had had people like you praying and thinking of me when I lost 11 of my babies."

I get into the car.

One balloon pops.

Thinking to myself... "It's ok. We will tie the popped one to the other one. When they get to Jesus and Aiden, they will fix it."

5.3 minutes later.

POP!

Balloon number two popped.

What do I do now?

I drove twenty minutes in the OTHER direction to the town where Caroline has preschool.

I stopped at a store.

No latex balloons. I was about to lose it. Remember what Cynthiaa is going through right now.

I grabbed a red heart balloon instead.

"That will do," I said to myself.

Fast-forward 45 minutes.

We reach our destination.

I start getting Caroline out of the car.

"Caroline, hold tight to the balloon. I need to tie the blue ones to it and I want to take your picture when you let it go," I say.

2.6 seconds later... bye bye red heart balloon. She let it go. I couldn't get to my camera. I wanted to yell. I wanted it to be special. I wanted great pictures. Then I remember what Cynthiaa was going through. "Don't stress Hailey."

I grabbed Caroline and the two popped blue balloons and we walked.

I took pictures.

I told Caroline we were giving the balloons to Jesus. I told her that He would find them wherever she put them and He would fix them.

She wanted to put them at the edge of the woods.

So here you go Aiden Bug.







Caroline was trying to blow the balloon back up.


She tried to let them go so that they would fly away but it didn't work.


Caroline yelling for Jesus to come get the balloons.


We walked so far. But, it was worth it.
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Please pray for Cynthiaa and her family. They need all the prayers we can give.

We are dippers. Oh, and a giveaway.

CLOSED

When I was contacted by these people to try their product, I was so excited.

We love sauce.

We love dipping.

We are sauce snobs.

We know the best ketchup, ranch, BBQ sauce, honey mustard, etc.

So, Country Bob's sent me two bottles of their All Purpose Sauce.

Let me be the first to tell you that it is WONDERFUL.

We have eaten it on everything.

The day that we received it, the hubs grilled a pork tenderloin. Every piece of meat was loaded with sauce as it went into my mouth.

I ate it on pretzels as a snack one day.

Caroline ate it on chips.

Ryan even put it all over his pasta salad.

That was a bit extreme... but he said it was great.

Anyway, the sauce was made by Country Bob Edson.

"After years of giving the sauce to friends and family he began to sell it in 1977. The reaction was overwhelming just as it is today. Almost everyone who tries Country Bob's All Purpose Sauce becomes a lifelong user. And why not, it is the perfect complement to practically any meal set on your table."

Here is the cool part... Country Bob's says "Christ is our CEO and He is an Awesome Boss!" They also remind us of Proverbs 16:3 which says, "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."

Now for the best part. Country Bob's is giving 2 of my readers 2 bottles of their All Purpose Sauce. You will love it!

Here are the rules:

- Leave a comment on this post telling me that you really want to try this sauce.
- If your e-mail is not enabled, be sure to leave your e-mail in the comment. If you are not sure, just leave your e-mail.
- I will close the contest Sunday, February 15, 2009 at 8pm EST.
- The winners will be announced shortly after that.
- Winners will be chosen by random.org

Good luck!

I hope all of you comment. If you don't I will feel like a loser. Haha! Only kidding!

It is so fun to win! You know you want to!

Just want to clear things up.

The breastfeeding nazi.

Her name is Karen.

She is my mom.

She is a nurse in the newborn nursery.

She is sometimes pushy when it comes to breastfeeding.

No, Krystyn it is not you.

However, I do think that it is funny that you thought it was you! Haha!

Not Me! Monday.

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.



I did not watch the Grammy's last night.

I never watch award shows.

I never talk smack about what people wore either.

Paula Abdul is not my example of my smack talk.




Really, Paula? Really? How did you make this Basil Soda dress look so terrible? Here it is on the runway.



Number one this is not my favorite dress. Basil Soda dresses are different. Paula was not the best person to wear something that is "different". She is "different" enough by herself.

MOVING ON...

I did not love Taylor Swift's dress.


I did not admit on twitter that I have fallen in love with Chris Martin.

I did not use to think he was gross.

I did not also admit that I love Justin Timberlake.

The hubs did not tell me that of all the celebs that Carrie Underwood was his "top" or "number 1". Really? He also did not say that Angelina was not that pretty. I did not want to slap him in the face. She is not absolutely beautiful. Love her.

He did not say this a week ago and I did not forget to announce it to the world on my blog.

I did not (REALLY) know that Robert Plant had aged like he has. Really. I did not know it.


I do not still picture him looking like this...



I did not let Caroline eat two packs of PEZ tonight. Not me. I would never let my child eat that much candy.

I did not give up soft drinks.

I did not cheat and drink 2 glasses of Dr. Pepper on Thursday night at Texas Steakhouse.

I did not eat a crazy amount of food either.

I did not come home and almost throw up from eating so much. I had been eating yogurt and granola all week.

I did not almost pee in my pants while trying to get to the bathroom more than once this week. Having babies does this to you.

I do not pee a little every time I sneeze.

Emma did not lay on my lap and talk to me while I wrote part of this.

Caroline did not lay on top of the end table and talk to herself.

I did not sign up for treat bags for Caroline's Valentine's Day party. If you have any cute ideas, please do not share them with me.

What I have learned.

A first time mommy asks millions of questions. You are scared to death. You wonder millions of things. You write down millions of questions. It is a stressful time.

Caroline- A little over 12 hours old


Emma- A few hours old


When I was pregnant with Caroline (my first) I was scared to death. How will I know what to do? What if I do it all wrong? What if I drop her? What if I can't make her stop crying? How will I know what she wants? The questions wouldn't stop. I was scared. I was onlt 21. I was a baby myself. I just knew I was going to do something that was irreversible.

With Em it has been easier. You learn with your first one.

The other night I was thinking about everything I have learned so far. So here you go:

Hailey's Guide to Mommyhood

I have learned that you are going to mess up. However, you learn that you can't mess up too terribly bad.

I've learned that I can survive the terrible twos.

I have learned that it is ok to ignore your screaming child.

I have learned that it is normal for your child to fall in the toilet at least twice a week.

I have learned that it is ok to let your child drink Pepsi. It isn't going to hurt them.

I have learned that your children are going to get hurt. I have learned that as long as there is no blood, bruises, or tenderness... don't stress. They will probably be fine. I will never forget laying Caroline on the couch. She was probably four months old. I stood up to get a diaper and I heard a "PLOP". I thought she was dead. She had rolled off of the couch and landed on her back on the floor. I went into what I like to call psycho panic mom mode. I couldn't breathe. She was screaming. I was crying. I was at home alone. I didn't know what to do? Should I call 911? Hailey, be serious. Should I take her to the ER? Really, Hailey? So, I did all I knew to do. I picked up the phone to call my mom. Not home. I said a cuss word. I dailed the next number. My Nana and Daddy George. They were here in 3 minutes flat. She was fine. By the time they got here she wasn't screaming. There was no blood. There were no bruises. Her soft spot felt fine. It just scared her like it scared me. To add to her fear, her mom was acting like a crazy lunatic. I rubbed her head raw that night I am sure. I bet I felt that soft spot a hundred times.

I have learned there is no point in getting angry over dirty clothes, spilled drinks, and tee-tee accidents. You just clean it up and move on. Getting worked up over the small things doesn't change them, it just stresses you out more.

I have learned that feeding your babies vegetables first (instead of fruits) makes them better eaters. My motto is: "If you can get them to eat green peas first the rest will be easy." They will love everything you give them after peas.

I have learned that two year olds will take their clothes off at random times and in random places. People will stare but you should just go with the flow. Remember, don't sweat the small stuff.

I have learned how to clean poop out of the carpet, off of the chair, off of walls, etc.

I have learned that leaving your 20 month old alone in her room in a pull-up during potty training boot camp could be disastrous. (Read above)

I have learned how to perform a potty training boot camp. It isn't that difficult. I also believe that if they can tell you they have pooped in their diaper, they can tell you that they need to tee-tee or poop in the potty. Two is my potty training age. I love not have two babies in diapers. FYI- If we had to buy diapers for two it would cost about $160 a month. Whatev! That's $1920 a year. WOW!

I have learned that it isn't all about me anymore. It is all about my babies.

I have learned (and loved) all things baby. Strollers, carseats, highchairs, diaper bags... oh if I was only a millionaire. The hubs just said the other night, "I don't know anybody, other than you, how knows the name brands of strollers." I do, hubs. Lots of mommies know these things. No BMW for me. I just want a Phil and Ted's sport stroller (with doubles kit) in apple (the pretty lime green).

I have learned not to say bullshit ugly words in front of two-year olds.

I have learned that not being able to breastfeed isn't going to kill you or your baby. It's ok. If you can, great. If you can't, oh well. Don't stress over giving your baby formula. They will be fine. (Sorry Breastfeeding Nazi.. I know you are reading this.) I cried when I had to give Caroline formula for the first time. I wasn't producing enough milk, she wasn't getting enough to eat. I had to supplement. Thank God that I did. She stopped crying for 10 minutes... long enough for me to get a shower. Anyway, formula is ok. Don't stress out over giving your baby a bottle OR formula. It will save your sanity.

I have learned that milk doesn't come out of just one hole. There are multiple holes. This sounds crazy but I remember freaking out when I realized this. I know, I probably should have known that but I didn't. Just an FYI to those others who didn't know either. (No judgement, ok? Thanks!)

I have learned that putting your baby in the bed with you can be the best OR worst thing that ever happens to you. We put Caroline in the bed with us. She slept with us until a few months ago. It was great those first few months. This was the only way she would actually sleep for more than 30 minutes. I was sleep deprived and needed sleep so I threw her in the bed with us. We slept, it was great. It was NOT so great when she turned 2 and was a beast to sleep with. She kicks, cries, hits, grinds her teeth. Oh, she is an awful sleeper.

I have learned that times have changed. The things my Mom use to do with me, we don't do those things anymore. For example, I do not boil bottles and pacifiers. Read the research. Read the books. You don't have to anymore. It is ok. Caroline turned out just fine and never once did I boil her bottles.

I have learned that your whole life changes after you have a baby. When we go out on a hot date we miss Caroline and Em. We wonder what we did without them. How was life before them? You forget. All you want is your little family to be together all the time.

I have learned to savor those little moments. There were moments that I took advantage of with Caroline. I rushed everything with her. Let your baby be a baby. It is ok if they aren't sitting up by 5 months old or crawling at 8 months. They are going to do those things when they feel good and ready. Don't rush them. Take your time. Enjoy them being a baby. Rock them and hold them as long as they will let you. They grow so fast.

Motherhood has taught me so much. I am sure there is so much more for me to learn and I can't wait!

This week on Be Serious...

THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO:

NOT ME! MONDAY

A GIVEAWAY

WHAT I'VE LEARNED FROM BEING A MOM

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

25 THINGS YOU MAY OR MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT ME

PHOTO STORY FRIDAY

In The Motherhood.

Oh, I can't wait for this show to begin.



"I screw up all the time. I ran out of diapers two days ago and we've been using paper towels and tape." Haha! I almost peed my pants.
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Edited to add:
My Google Reader is in overdrive. I haven't read blogs in a while. I am coming though. I will comment soon. I have a few things to do around here and tonight I have a date with the computer. Can't wait to see what y'all have been up to.

PSF- PhotoStory Friday.

Emma is such a happy baby. Caroline was too but Emma is just so darn sweet. She loves to sleep. She likes to go to sleep on her own. She wants you to lay her down and give her BB and her pappy and she drifts off to dreamland. This is the EXACT opposite of Caroline. Emma makes having an infant easy.


This is how we found Caroline last night. We were getting ready to go out to dinner and she refused to take that hat off. She also used used these to paint her hands and face. Thank goodness Crayola is washable. This picture was seriously taken like 15 minutes before we left. Oh the joys of a two year old.

I see dead people.

Caroline plays with Cody every night in the kitchen.

We don't know a Cody.

She has never heard us use the name Cody.

For a while we thought she was saying Cody instead of Carly because she met someone named Carly one day with Papa.

The situation got stranger though.

I don't ask her many questions.

However, Ryan asked her about Cody's hair.

Cody has black hair.

Guess where Cody lives?

The hospital.

Do you think she sees a ghost?

Now every night when I walk down the stairs (when everyone is asleep) I feel like someone is watching me.

Is it Caroline's imagination? Is it a ghost? Maybe I should call the Paranormal Research Society. HELLO! Paranormal State is one of my favorite shows. This could be the reason why I think my kid is talking to a ghost.

Wordless Wednesday.