Sunday, February 8, 2009

What I have learned.

A first time mommy asks millions of questions. You are scared to death. You wonder millions of things. You write down millions of questions. It is a stressful time.

Caroline- A little over 12 hours old

Emma- A few hours old

When I was pregnant with Caroline (my first) I was scared to death. How will I know what to do? What if I do it all wrong? What if I drop her? What if I can't make her stop crying? How will I know what she wants? The questions wouldn't stop. I was scared. I was onlt 21. I was a baby myself. I just knew I was going to do something that was irreversible.

With Em it has been easier. You learn with your first one.

The other night I was thinking about everything I have learned so far. So here you go:

Hailey's Guide to Mommyhood

I have learned that you are going to mess up. However, you learn that you can't mess up too terribly bad.

I've learned that I can survive the terrible twos.

I have learned that it is ok to ignore your screaming child.

I have learned that it is normal for your child to fall in the toilet at least twice a week.

I have learned that it is ok to let your child drink Pepsi. It isn't going to hurt them.

I have learned that your children are going to get hurt. I have learned that as long as there is no blood, bruises, or tenderness... don't stress. They will probably be fine. I will never forget laying Caroline on the couch. She was probably four months old. I stood up to get a diaper and I heard a "PLOP". I thought she was dead. She had rolled off of the couch and landed on her back on the floor. I went into what I like to call psycho panic mom mode. I couldn't breathe. She was screaming. I was crying. I was at home alone. I didn't know what to do? Should I call 911? Hailey, be serious. Should I take her to the ER? Really, Hailey? So, I did all I knew to do. I picked up the phone to call my mom. Not home. I said a cuss word. I dailed the next number. My Nana and Daddy George. They were here in 3 minutes flat. She was fine. By the time they got here she wasn't screaming. There was no blood. There were no bruises. Her soft spot felt fine. It just scared her like it scared me. To add to her fear, her mom was acting like a crazy lunatic. I rubbed her head raw that night I am sure. I bet I felt that soft spot a hundred times.

I have learned there is no point in getting angry over dirty clothes, spilled drinks, and tee-tee accidents. You just clean it up and move on. Getting worked up over the small things doesn't change them, it just stresses you out more.

I have learned that feeding your babies vegetables first (instead of fruits) makes them better eaters. My motto is: "If you can get them to eat green peas first the rest will be easy." They will love everything you give them after peas.

I have learned that two year olds will take their clothes off at random times and in random places. People will stare but you should just go with the flow. Remember, don't sweat the small stuff.

I have learned how to clean poop out of the carpet, off of the chair, off of walls, etc.

I have learned that leaving your 20 month old alone in her room in a pull-up during potty training boot camp could be disastrous. (Read above)

I have learned how to perform a potty training boot camp. It isn't that difficult. I also believe that if they can tell you they have pooped in their diaper, they can tell you that they need to tee-tee or poop in the potty. Two is my potty training age. I love not have two babies in diapers. FYI- If we had to buy diapers for two it would cost about $160 a month. Whatev! That's $1920 a year. WOW!

I have learned that it isn't all about me anymore. It is all about my babies.

I have learned (and loved) all things baby. Strollers, carseats, highchairs, diaper bags... oh if I was only a millionaire. The hubs just said the other night, "I don't know anybody, other than you, how knows the name brands of strollers." I do, hubs. Lots of mommies know these things. No BMW for me. I just want a Phil and Ted's sport stroller (with doubles kit) in apple (the pretty lime green).

I have learned not to say bullshit ugly words in front of two-year olds.

I have learned that not being able to breastfeed isn't going to kill you or your baby. It's ok. If you can, great. If you can't, oh well. Don't stress over giving your baby formula. They will be fine. (Sorry Breastfeeding Nazi.. I know you are reading this.) I cried when I had to give Caroline formula for the first time. I wasn't producing enough milk, she wasn't getting enough to eat. I had to supplement. Thank God that I did. She stopped crying for 10 minutes... long enough for me to get a shower. Anyway, formula is ok. Don't stress out over giving your baby a bottle OR formula. It will save your sanity.

I have learned that milk doesn't come out of just one hole. There are multiple holes. This sounds crazy but I remember freaking out when I realized this. I know, I probably should have known that but I didn't. Just an FYI to those others who didn't know either. (No judgement, ok? Thanks!)

I have learned that putting your baby in the bed with you can be the best OR worst thing that ever happens to you. We put Caroline in the bed with us. She slept with us until a few months ago. It was great those first few months. This was the only way she would actually sleep for more than 30 minutes. I was sleep deprived and needed sleep so I threw her in the bed with us. We slept, it was great. It was NOT so great when she turned 2 and was a beast to sleep with. She kicks, cries, hits, grinds her teeth. Oh, she is an awful sleeper.

I have learned that times have changed. The things my Mom use to do with me, we don't do those things anymore. For example, I do not boil bottles and pacifiers. Read the research. Read the books. You don't have to anymore. It is ok. Caroline turned out just fine and never once did I boil her bottles.

I have learned that your whole life changes after you have a baby. When we go out on a hot date we miss Caroline and Em. We wonder what we did without them. How was life before them? You forget. All you want is your little family to be together all the time.

I have learned to savor those little moments. There were moments that I took advantage of with Caroline. I rushed everything with her. Let your baby be a baby. It is ok if they aren't sitting up by 5 months old or crawling at 8 months. They are going to do those things when they feel good and ready. Don't rush them. Take your time. Enjoy them being a baby. Rock them and hold them as long as they will let you. They grow so fast.

Motherhood has taught me so much. I am sure there is so much more for me to learn and I can't wait!


Krystyn said...

That was a great list!

The milk and the wholes thing freaked my sister out. ((I sure hope I'm not the breastfeeding nazi!!!)

And, you must tell me about the boot camp. I think we would have it down if we didn't have to work around daycare, too, but seriously...this is killing me. Izzy is so capable!

Corey and Jamie said...

I really enjoyed reading this! It makes me not SO worried. It is comforting to know that nobody really knows what it is going to be like until the baby arrives.

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