Thursday, June 21, 2012

The smelly mom

What.a.mess.I.am.

I didn't go to sleep until 2 am Tuesday night (really Wednesday morning).

Caroline was up until 12:15am.

She was screaming.  She said she was scared I was going to leave her.

Psh!  I have no idea where the girl thinks this stuff up.

She finally gave in to sleep when I was crying, she was crying and Ryan came in and saved us both.

I was hoping to go to bed soon after she fell asleep.

No such luck.

I thought I had thrown Ryan's uniform shirts and uniform shorts in the wash.

WRONG.

I just washed the shorts.

Therefore, I was up until 2am washing shirts and waiting to put them in the dryer.

I cried.

A lot.

I am an emotional person at times.

It was a long night and a very early morning.

We had big plans for Wednesday.  We were supposed to go to the movies at 10am.

Since Caroline wouldn't go to sleep the night before, I told her we were not going to the movie.

I felt like complete shiz not taking her but she would not listen to me and "JUST GO TO SLEEEP!".

Even thought the movie did not work out, I could not sit in this house all day.

We went to the Nature Center instead.

Man, I love that place.

I packed a nice lunch of pizza, frozen strawberries, nabs, and fruit snacks.

I went to the refrigerator to grab two juice boxes.

Psh!

We only had regular and diet Mountain Dew.

I opted for the regular.

So while my children ate lunch, they got all jacked up on Mountain Dew.

Side note: I got all jacked up on a large iced black coffee from McDonald's.  These are a lifesaver especially when you are running on 5 hours of sleep.

I am sure I looked like a very responsible parent at the park.

Whatev.

The girls quickly ate their lunch while I quickly sucked down my coffee.

I felt like I had forgotten something.

I had the weird feeling all morning.

The girls were ready to play.

I stood in the hot sun.

OH NO!

I know what I forgot.

In the hustle and bustle of getting myself and two children ready, I FORGOT DEODORANT.

Mother of all things holy!

My heart dropped.

No deodorant?

I am sure I am going to start smelling like a goat and I am SURE I will see 800 people I know.

Shit.

I slowly lifted my arm and sniffed.

It wasn't discreet.

No need in being discreet.

Shew!  I smelled like soap.

Everything was all good for the moment.

I quickly rounded the girls up and averted their attention to the indoor, air conditioned planetarium.

I couldn't make them go home.  I had already taken the movie away.

Inside the planetarium, all was well with my armpits.

We spent a total of 2 non-deodorized hours at the Nature Center and I did not see one single person I knew.

That, my friends, is a record.

As we finished up our adventure and were walking to the car, I realized no deodorant was better than other alternatives.

Things could always be worse.

Much worse.

Do you know what kind of looks I would have gotten if I had forgotten to put on a bra?

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