Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Boob job fund.

I was in the bathroom the other day getting ready.

You would think that I was a 60 year old woman with the hot flashes that overcome me while I get ready. I can't wear clothes during the process because if I do, they will be soaking wet by the time I am done.

Anyway, what I am trying to explain is that I just wear my bra and underwear while getting ready.

As I was drying my hair and looking at myself in the mirror. I was shocked. I had to stop, put the hair dryer down and examine further.

I once had cute boobs. Looking at them in a bathing suit or bra they formed the perfect "C" and the other a backwards "C". Did you just form the picture in your head? Do you get what I am trying to say? Good.

Now like I said, my boobs are no longer this way. They form two straight lines. Like two number ones. I kid you not. At the age of 24, I have lost all hope for my boobs.

The more I stared, the more I realized that I am a 24 year old with the body of a 60 year old. However, I bring a whole new meaning to the phrase "On a scale of one to ten, what are you?"

My answer? "An eleven. I have the proof." Then I will just pull up my shirt and expose my "11" cleavage.

Be jealous.

PS- Not to worry though, my boob job fund is still collecting change. Donations are welcome.


Midwest Mommy said...

I hear ya!

The Nicholsons said...

Did you breastfeed? Girl, I'm right there with ya. The sistas hang lowwww. Like your really new background! Ha

Angie said...

I feel you girl!! First of all, I too must get dressed practically in the nude due to sweaty hot flashes. I usually have socks stuffed in my bra under my boobs to soak op the sweat! SEXY! My boobs were once very perky and pretty but they are oh so 60-year-old womanish now. It's so sad :(

Jamie said...

I don't believe it is as bad as you describe, but I thought this was HILARIOUS! I too have to get ready half naked, I would blame it on the post pregnancy hormones but I've always had to do this! Luckily, I did not have to deal with saggy boobs. I thought I was going to have to get my boobs redone afterwards but you can't tell a difference. This may change after I'm finished having children, but I do hate that the surgeries I had are probably the reason for pumping for an hour to get half an ounce of milk! So... there are ups and downs to everything...literally! You may not want my opinion about who to go to for a breast augmentation but if you do let me know!

Diana said...

You are too funny! I am having the same problem myself!

Alyssa said...

To make it all better should I dare mention that it only gets worse with age..not better. KEEP collecting for the fund that's the best advice..Welcome to motherhood.

Heather said...

Girl at least you have some boobs!! I had small boobs before I had Reagan. I hoped they would get bigger but they did just the opposite. I now look like an eleven year old boy. It's sad. I haven't figured out how I am going to get in a bathing suit this summer!!!!