Thursday, August 6, 2009

He has reason to be concerned.

Edited to add #12. Forgot it. Sorry about that.
A few weeks ago, I drove to Wilson to go to The Cookie Boutique. On the way, my friend started talking about the state my car was in.

"Look at all this junk, Hailey. You know what? I demand that you clean it out. Really. You have to!"

We talked a little about the situation at hand. Then my friend asked, "Why didn't we just drive Ryan's car?"

This question stirred up a lot of memories. Memories that I talk about now that they are over.

"Are you a nut ball? Ryan would NEVER let me drive his truck all the way to Wilson." (It's only 45 minutes away.)

So, I decided to share with you the reasons why I am not allowed to drive Ryan's truck... especially long distances. FYI- Long distances for me are 45 minute drives.

1. I ran a stoplight and got a ticket a few months after getting my license when I was 16. It was not my fault. I was too close to the 18-wheeler in front of me and I couldn't see the light as I was going through the intersection.

2. I killed a dog and in the process ripped part of my bumper off.

3. I ran over a tree limb that was laying in the middle of the road. I shut my eyes and drove over it. I got a busted headlight in return.

4. I ran over another dog. He got stuck under my wheel. I didn't know what to do and was in a terrible part of town. Thank goodness someone I knew walked up in a group of people and helped me out.

5. I was leaving a friends house and the friend yelled, "HEY! DON'T HIT MOM'S TREE!" It just so happened to be the only tree in the whole yard. It looked like a stick that was planted in the ground. I rammed that twig. I then threw it into the back of my car and sped away. I call this my hit and run.

6. I backed into my Mom's car in the driveway.

7. I got a speeding ticket.

8. Ryan let me drive his truck to the gas station to get a drink. Bad idea. I hit the pole that sits beside the gas pump. Left an ugly mark above the rear tire. He was not happy.

9. I rear-ended an old couple. That's all I have to say about that.

10. I was driving home from Ryan's birthday dinner last year. I turned onto a road that had the stop sign in the center of the two lanes... do you know what I'm talking about? Anyway, I rammed the bitch. I'm talking I drove slam into it. I ripped Ryan's side view mirror off and broke the plastic mirror part.

11. I got a speeding ticket.

12. Totally pulled out of a parking lot... hit the curb... tore part of my car off... Ryan had to get out and throw the whole bottom left side of my car in the trunk. (This happened in college... when I drove a mustang.) Fun times.

That's all I have to say about that.

The first thing I would do if I won a million dollars, would be to hire a driver. Seriously!

PS- I wrote this list out and numbered it. I didn't like the numbers... so I marked them out.


Diana said...

You are hilarious! I love reading your blogs!

Jamie said...

Hailey I would never ride with you after reading this. HAHA you are a terrible driver JK Shit happens. I am sure my list is a little lengthy too :) You are too fuuny girl!

Nicole said...

You are too funny! Perhaps you should just call for a cab (j/K) :o)

Patrice said...

OMG! That is quite a track record! And I thought mine was bad!!

Gavin and Family said...

I am laughing so hard right now. And yes you should never drive Ryan's truck ever again. If you did win a million dollars I think you owe Ryan a new truck! HaHa

Amber said...

I came across your blog and you crack me up! I can see why your husband doesn't let you drive his truck.

Doreen said...

Oh my goodness girl!! How in the world did you get a Drivers' Liscense?! :))

Doreen said...

Oh my goodness girl!! How in the world did you get a Drivers' Liscense?! :))

Heather said...

Hailey you are hilarious!! haha

Love Stitched said...

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Jess said...

That's an impressive list! Way to go ;)