Monday Randoms on Tuesday

1. I did 30 minutes of pilates last Thursday. I am now reminded why I hate to exercise. 5 days later, my ribs still hurt.

2. Olive Garden can kiss my right butt cheek. We went at 5pm to the new Olive Garden in Morehead. We had to wait 30 minutes. When we finally sat down, I was so excited about trying the Lasagna Fritta as my meal. Parmesan-breaded lasagna pieces, fried and served over alfredo sauce, topped with parmesan cheese and marinara sauce.


Yes, it is an appetizer but that is what I wanted and I wanted it as my entrée. Well, guess what people? The waitress said I couldn't have a bowl because I technically wasn't suppose to get salad since I didn't order an entrée. Excuse me? She said if I wanted salad that I would have to use my bread plate. She also added that she would get in a lot of trouble if she gave me a bowl. Who would have ever known? Now that I am eating salad off of my little bread plate, EVERYONE knows that I'm not suppose to have salad. It's ok though. We ate one salad and we got another, boxed it up and took it home. Take that Olive Garden!

PS- Do you know how Olive Garden is making money? By charging $10.50 for a bowl of regular spaghetti with meat sauce. Ridiculous. I have the same recipe that I found online. I can make a whole pot for less than that!

3. My children are going to be the death of me. I am really frustrated right now. I don't even want to talk about it. Just know that I've cried a lot lately. My children just will not listen. This too shall pass and better days are ahead.... hopefully. At least I have a little hope with preschool starting next week.

4. I found a pair of hot pink Sanita's (size 26) for $35. Too bad Caroline needs at least a 27. If you have a girl that wears a 26, leave your contact info and I will send you the link to the shoes. (I'm too lazy to look it up right now.)

5. My children are in the bathroom fighting. I am ignoring both of their cries.

6. I really need to dye my hair before Bunco Thursday night.

7. I had the most fabulous girls night last Thursday night. I met Carrie for dinner at Chef and The Farmer. OMG! Delicious! One La Torta, goat cheese appetizer, braised pork shoulder lasagna yumminess, 10-layer chocolate cake and a trio of sorbet... I was stuffed. We shared the appetizer and desserts. Carrie had blueberry chicken with corn fritters and some other yumminess. It was a fun time. 2 hours of girl/adult conversation and great food. I'm lucky to have such great friends.

8. Speaking of food, my new favorite lunch? A King's Hawaiian sweet roll slathered with Mrs. Kinser's Pimento Cheese (with pepper jack) and stuffed with Oscar Mayer Deli Fresh cracked black pepper shaved turkey breast. Yumminess on a plate.

9. I did Bug's birthday invitation shots this weekend. Here is a sneak peek...


Yes, ruffles and converse. Precious!

10. Until tomorrow... peace out.

Fork

The salad and dinner fork were just too small for her.

And yes, that is Creme Brulee Coffee Mate with a splash of half regular/half decaf coffee that she was drinking. No judgement please.

WTH

Yes, WTH?

I'm thinking that the full moon is upon us. I will have to google to verify the specific date. Anyway, it is upon us. I'm sure of it.

If we are facebook BFFs, you saw my status update yesterday.

"My oldest child has anger management issues. She's only 4."

Laugh amongst yourselves but she is psycho.

She gets is honestly from me her father.

Let's just take yesterday as an example.

The little nutjob had a breakdown because her bathing suit top was "TOO TIGHT. IT'S TOO TIIIIIIIIIGHT!" I very calmly helped her with the top again. It still wasn't right so she ran into the living room and threw the bucket of blocks across the room. I took care of that craziness.

A little while later, (still topless, fresh from timeout with a red butt)... I told the nutjob she had to pick up the blocks or she wasn't going to lunch or the splash pad. Guess what the nutjob yelled? "OK, DAMNASS! I WILL!" I flipped.

Oh, the day does not end there. We haven't even made it to lunchtime yet.

Eating out with two children was normal. They were crazy.

After lunch, we went to the splash pad. We were the only ones there which was nice. After 45 minutes, Caroline had a meltdown because she wanted to go play on the jungle gym at the park. I hadn't brought clothes for that so I said, "no". Melt.down. She told me she didn't like me anymore. She told me I was mean. Then, she hit me. I threw her in that car so fast, I don't even remember getting all of our stuff together. It was a blur.

Deep breath. Deep breath. Not working!

We got home and she had her tea from lunch in her hand. She asked to watch TV. "You have been ugly and I have to get Bug to sleep, so no. You may go to your room and play. But no TV!" Melt.down.

She took that tea and threw it. It just so happened to land on both Guitar Hero guitars and all of the wires connected to the TV, PS3, etc.

She went to her room... with a red bottom... for timeout... for a long time.

She was allowed to come back to the living room a little while later.

She asked to watch Dora. No, I said. Melt.down.

She ran, got my sunglasses, opened them, took both arms and pulled as hard as she could. Thank goodness Costa makes good glasses. They withstood my psycho preschooler.

I will not continue with the rest of the day. Let's just say that it did not get any better... AND... she was up until 2:30am last night.

Fun times.

And you wonder why I take Xanax on occasion. May you never have to ask again.

Cribs and beds

When I was pregnant with Caroline, very few moments stick out in my head. I remember crazy things that happened to me like when my arm went numb for weeks or when I peed in my pants for the first time.

Pregnancy was not my thing. I hated it.

The one part of pregnancy I liked (other than feeling the baby move) was picking out crib bedding.

I found Caroline's bedding at Pottery Barn Kids and had to have it as soon as I saw it. It was perfect. Well I should say, it is perfect. It was passed down to Emma. I saw no need in buying new bedding when I loved Caroline's so much.


Kasey Nursery Bedding- PBK
Bright Butterfly Mobile PBK
White Box-Pleated Crib Skirt- PBK (similar to the one linked but no longer available at PBK)
Green Gingham Crib Sheet- PBK
Pink and White Polka Dot Sheet- TJ Maxx $6

Now, on to my dilemma.

Emma is still in her crib.

I am debating on putting her in a toddler bed.

Ryan is dead set against it. He says we should keep her in her crib for as long as possible.

I just feel like, with her turning two, that she is getting to big for her crib. She is not climbing out of it or endangering herself by trying to climb out. It is just me, thinking she needs to be in a bed.

I never transitioned Caroline from crib to bed because Caroline was never in her crib to begin with.

So, should I move Emma to a toddler bed?

How old is too old for a crib?

The only downfall to moving to a toddler bed... no more pretty bumper. :-( I'll have to pass it down to someone else.

Tips, Info, Hints

Being a mom is a big deal. It is a hard job.

I don't know all of the answers but I can tell you all of the things I've done wrong. In other words, I can tell you what NOT to do.

Here are a list of tips/information/hints for this thing called motherhood... and life in general.

1. Green eye goo does not always mean something bad.

2. If your child falls off of the bed, couch or any other high object... they will be fine. As long as nothing is coming out of the soft spot on their head.

3. It is also good luck for a baby to fall off of the bed before they are a year old. Mine just so happened to fall off multiple times before a year old.

4. Pepsi in a sippy cup is ok.

5. You can use the vacuum to get your kids quiet for a minute. It is not harsh punishment.

6. Take all magnets off of your refrigerator. Your children will break them all and try to eat magnets. Magnets are not edible.

7. Do not wash your toddlers mouth out with coco butter body wash. They will like it.

8. Do not put a drop of hot sauce on their tongue when they say "shit". They will vomit and then you will be saying "shit".

9. Tampons in cardboard applicators are only good for applying eye shadow. Otherwise, they should not be made.

10. You can brush spitup and snot out of your hair.

11. Baby wipes can clean anything.

12. Go to your kitchen right now. Get your tin foil and plastic wrap. Did you do it? Do you have them in your hands? Look on the side. There is a little triangle cutout that you can push in. Push it in... on both sides... on both boxes. Never again will your whole roll come out of the box. This locks it in there. The little locks are even on the cheap tin foil and plastic wrap. You are welcome, friends.

13. Dilated pupils mean that the black of the eye is HUGE. I'm talking it takes up most of the color part of the eyeball. You will need to know this in case your toddler falls, busts her head on the cement, and is acting strangely.

14. Dirt comes off. It's ok for children to get dirty.

15. Ticks like to bite the back of the ears. No, it is not a freckle that you see. It is a tick. Immediately remove said tick and watch your child for 7 days for high fever and rash.

16. Dish washing tablets are NOT pepperonis. You may need to tell your toddler this. No, they do not look like pepperonis. I guess it was the red Dawn in the tablet that threw her off. If she eats the tablet, be sure to save what she didn't eat and that there is no plastic in her mouth. Watch her through the night.

17. All random sicknesses are viral. There is nothing the doctor can do for you. Drink lots of fluids.

18. Children will cut their hair at least once in their life. It's ok. It grows back and makes for good conversation while waiting in line at the grocery store.

19. When handing a child a juice box, go ahead and place the straw in their mouth. They will squeeze the juice box and this tip will save you from cleaning up juice box.

20. When starting solids, feed green peas first. If you can get them to like peas, they will eat anything.

21. The doctor is not always right and neither are you.

22. It is hard, and I still have not mastered this but... don't sweat the small stuff.

23. Crying in the shower, crying in the floor, crying... is ok... period. You deserve a good cry as often as you need it.

24. You will never sleep again. Give it up.

25. One day you will become use to being tired. You will learn to run on fumes. I'm almost always on empty.

26. It's ok to admit that you are breastfeeding to lose weight.

27. You haded bread crust as a child... as a mother you make them your meal.

That's all I've got for now. I'm sure I will be adding to the list.
What would you like to add?

Kelly's Kids

If you know me IRL (in real life), you know that I have had major drama with Kelly's Kids.

Spring of 2009, I order the cutest white eyelet dress for Caroline and a matching bubble for Emma. I ordered in hopes of receiving the items before Easter. They did not come. When I finally received the items, Emma had outgrown the bubble. Anyway, I just sent the stupid thing back and they sent us a refund.

This spring, I ordered a blue and white damask pillowcase dress. It was beautiful. It was perfect for Easter. I had to have it for Caroline.

After dropping more money than one should pay for a pillowcase dress, it took almost 9 weeks to receive my dress. I finally got it AFTER Easter. Great Easter dress, right?

Not only that, Kelly's Kids gave me the run around and never even told me my item was backordered. I had to call them to find out. They would tell me they would ship it within the next week. When I didn't receive it, I would call back and they would say the same thing.

Anyway, I finally got the stupid dress. To make matters worse, I get this little picture in an email about 2 weeks ago...


Yes, that says 70% off. The same exact dress I paid so much for and waited so long for was on sale for $16! I flipped. (I also called my BFF who ordered the bubble for her little one for $13 with NO SHIPPING! I wanted someone to benefit from this sale. I sure didn't!)

Anyway, I had completely written off Kelly's Kids until I saw this little skirt...


and then I saw this...


NO THANK YOU!

Kelly's Kids, I am done with you. It wasn't meant for us to have a relationship.




PS- Caroline looks beautiful though doesn't she? The dress, her cute John Hardy, barefeet and the beach. Perfection.

What 4 will bring

Four has been a good age so far. There have been a few minor hiccups though. Including but not limited to the following:

Sassy mouth.

Sassy mouth is going to be the death of me.

"I don't like you anymore."

"You're not my mama."

"I don't love you anymore."

"Oh, YES I will."

Sassy mouth makes my head spin around like the crazy girl from the Exorcist and spew green from my mouth. There are times I have had enough and I turn into Mommy Dearest.

The other day, I had to run to the post office. Of course, both of my girls were in tow.

Making it out of the tiny post office without at least one meltdown is a grand accomplishment. Well, the other day the girls did it. We went in. We got our stamp and box. We paid. We made it. No meltdowns.

When we got out in the parking lot, I was putting Bug in her seat.

"Big, go ahead and get in your seat and I will buckle you."

She was dancing. Not listening to anything I was saying.

"CAROLINE! Climb through and get in your seat. NOW!"

Now, she was doing the balance beam on a piece of cement in the parking lot.

"GET IN THE CAR NOW! IF YOU DON'T, I AM GOING TO LEAVE YOU HERE!"

"No you won't," she said.

Excuse me, sassy mouth? What did you say?

I gave her one more chance. She shouted NO!

I very calmly said fine, got into the car, locked the doors and cranked the car. (Now before you freak out and call DSS, there was no one in the parking lot and I was watching her every move.)

Well, needless to say she thought I was going to leave and she had a breakdown.

She got into her seat, buckled up, and I thought she would think twice before sassy mouthing me anymore.

I was wrong... of course.

The word "sorry".

She has also started acting out on purpose (ie. hitting Emma, pushing Emma). When Emma begins to cry, Caroline will say she is sorry.

Ryan hates the word sorry. It drives him nuts!

"Caroline, sorry doesn't mean anything," he will tell her.

At least 10 times a day, he has to remind her that sorry doesn't mean anything.

She always comes back with "Mom, tell Dad that sorry does mean something. Grandmom said it did!"

Anyway, the other night we were at my Mom's. Caroline got into some fire ants and had little bumps on her feet. Well, Mom popped one and Caroline lost it. I mean threw a FIT!

I was standing outside and heard the commotion. Caroline ran out of the house screaming, "DAYDAY, SORRY DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING! SORRY DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING!!"

At least we know she is slowly learning what that means. Ha!

Ugly words.

This has been an ongoing battle with Caroline because, to be honest, I say ugly words in front of her. I don't mean to most of the time... they just come out. What can I say? I was born a sailor.

Anyway, she has started this new rhyme "bam, bam, damn, damn."

Classy, Caroline. Very classy.

The first few times she said it she knew it was ugly. We would just tell her that she couldn't say that word.

She would take trips to the bathroom just to say her little rhyme. She would cover her mouth and say it.

Finally, I had had enough. She said it one morning and I told her that if she said it again that I would wash her mouth out with soap.

"No you won't."

Yes, that was sassy mouth talking.

A little while later I hear, "Emma! Bam, bam, damn, damn."

I very calmhy took her upstairs to the bathroom. Of course all I had was body wash. I took a little on my hand and rubbed it in her mouth. She cried for a minute and was over it.

Obviously the washing of the mouth did nothing because later she told a friend of mine, "Mom washed my mouth out with soap. It was pretty good."

Damn that coco butter body wash. Whatever happened to the nasty tasting bar soap? We will be investing in some before the end of the week.

So, to all of you mothers of terrible 2s and God awful 3s... just wait. This is what you have to look forward to at 4.

Hold on tight. It's a wild ride. I don't think it ever gets easier.

Knock on the door.

My children are obviously allergic to clothing because as soon as we come in the house... they are down to just their big girl pants.

Well, the other day we were busy getting dressed to leave. Getting three people AND yourself dressed is a job.

Anyway, I heard Ryan yell... "GET BACK IN THIS HOUSE RIGHT NOW! YOU DON'T HAVE ANY CLOTHES ON!" Bug had run outside butt naked.

I didn't think anything of it. It is totally normal to streak in the Lafone household.

Next thing you know, there is a knock on the door.

I open it to a family friend laughing. "Umm, yes mam... have you seen any little girls running around out here naked?"

Dear sweet baby Jesus. I wonder who else has seen my child run outside butt naked.

All we could do was laugh about it and Ryan bounced down the stairs to add, "That's pretty ain't it?"

I walked to the car to talk to our friend's wife. She rolled down the window, "We turned around because we were going to try to get a picture for you to put on your blog."

People in these parts know me all too well. They obviously know my kids all too well know too... especially Bug and her naked butt.

Monday Randoms.

1. "When are you doing to blog?" I hear it at least twice a day. Today, is Monday Randoms. I am going to try to post everyday this week. It will get me back in the swing of things. I miss blogging. I miss reading and commenting on other blogs. We have just had a super busy summer.

2. Preschool starts September 8th. Is it September yet?

3. Bug is definitely in the terrible 2s. The complete meltdowns have begun. I thought she was going to be my laid back, easy one. I think I was wrong.

4. Caroline being 4 has been good for us. The sassy mouth/talking back hasn't been so good. Other than that though, 4 has been nice.

5. We had 3 birthday parties this weekend. I am partied out.

6. Ryan and I finally had a normal date night Saturday night. Dinner and a night at home with no babies. We both slept so good.

7. Speaking of the hubs... look at this hottie all spiffy in his SoPro ;-)


8. I feel like I have 8 million things to blog about. I don't even know where to begin.

9. Have I told you how much I miss the beach? I do. This was the first weekend in a long time that we haven't been.

10. I went grocery shopping alone tonight. Ahhhh... the little things that make a mother happy.

11. I'm not a hugger. I posted this as my facebook status yesterday. It is a whole blog post in itself.

12. I saw two random goats on the church steps tonight. Talk about crazy. Welcome to our little town, with one stoplight and random roaming goats. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.


13. Another huge plus of a small Southern town (you know, other than the random goats)? Kick ass BBQ on Wednesdays and Saturdays.

14. My children are allergic to clothes. (I'll blog about it)

15. I have 17 million pictures to upload and edit. I'm getting there... I'm getting there.

16. Is there anything you want to know about our summer? The girls? Let me know. I'll be sure to answer in a blog post for you. If you're lucky, you will get pictures too. ;-)

Boo Bug

Meet Boo from Monsters Inc.


Now, meet my Boo...

YUCK!

What in the world is going on!

I have given a whole new meaning to Friday the 13th.

I should have known when I posted last night and realized that the post number was triple sixes.

Emma woke up at 12am and didn't go back to sleep until 6am. She played. She screamed. She had convulsions in the middle of the living room floor. She almost threw up. Then.... pitter patter comes down the stairs... it's Caroline. Up at 2:30.

Caroline hasn't been back to sleep. Imagine that.

I'm on empty.

27 hours total with one hour of sleep. I'm not cut out for this. Thank God Nescafe Taster's Choice Coffee sticks are though.

When Ryan left for work this morning at 4am, all three of us sat by the door and cried. I even did the oh-so-classy fetal position rocking.

It hasn't gotten much better since that moment.

Emma did sleep from 6am to 11pm.

But then, I burnt the pizza I was cooking us for lunch. Black billowing smoke filled my kitchen.

I walked outside to throw a few items in the recycling (saving the planet one beer can at a time) and I stepped into fire ants. I didn't realize it until it was too late. The top of my foot is already swollen.

Pray that things get better.

Jason and Freddie would be easier to deal with today.

Screw you, Friday the 13th.

Click away!

If you know me, you know that I have a love of expensive jeans.

I might look like a dog with a stained t-shirt, rainbows and a pony tail on top of my head but I will have on my William Rast jeans.

Once you buy them you will understand. Ryan didn't get it until I dropped almost $200 (before children) to buy him a pair of Seven of All Mankind jeans.

He loved them. He still does, he has just grown since we got married. ;-)

Anyway, I am about to tell you a little secret. Are you ready??

The last William Rast jeans I got were only $70!

How, you ask??

Haute Look.

There is a widget on my right sidebar. Click it. It will take you to an item and you will see a "BUY NOW" button. Click it. Register with HauteLook and receive updates on items that will be on sale. And by sale... I mean HUGE SAVINGS!

The jeans I got were $220 and my awesome Mama only paid $70!

Sign up!

You will not be disappointed. You don't even have to buy. Just wait for the right deal to come along. You just have to sign up so that you will know what sales are coming.

Happy shopping ladies and pay yourself a pair of expensive jeans... be sure to send me a thank you later. ;-)


*** I will get $3 per registration. You just have to use the widget on my blog to register for me to get credit. I would still recommend HauteLook even if I weren't getting anything. In fact... I think I have! ;-)

Meet...

The Jackson's




the {precious} family that I had the honor of photographing this past weekend

meet {blythe}



little {mama} to her baby brother with a head full of beautiful brown hair

she is {beautiful} inside and out and reminds me so much of her sweet mama

meet {corbin}




so full of {life} and a ball of energy
he is definitely going to be a {heartbreaker}
and will keep {everyone} around him in stitches



corbin enjoyed {barking} at the dog when we were taking these pictures
you couldn't help but {laugh} at him


thank you {kim & clay} for letting me take pictures of your beautiful family
it was a {ton} of fun spending the evening with y'all

Step into my dreams. . .

Ryan and I made the decision last night that when we win the $25 million lottery Saturday night, this...



...will be our first purchase. You are all invited to our housewarming party.

;-)

Go ahead... click the link... take the virtual tour. You will not be sorry. Here is a site with just a slideshow.

Just thought I would share a dream. For now, I will continue living in my two bedroom apartment... unemployed.

Weekend

Ryan and I had a fabulous weekend sans kids.

We went to Boiling Spring Lakes to visit some fabulous friends.

We had a great time. We ate good food, drank good drinks, and just relaxed.

I know lots of you enjoy hearing about the food we eat (my Nana included) so here you go...

Friday night we had dinner at Fishy Fishy Cafe. For an appetizer, we had the Coconut Macadamia Shrimp with a spicy orange marmalade for dipping.
Ryan got a local sesame crusted yellowfin tuna served over mixed greens
and saffron rice with a sweet thai chili sauce. The chili sauce was nothing short of amazing!
I had shrimp and grits. It was sautéed shrimp, peppers & okra in a tasso ham sauce over stone ground yellow grits. Again, it was amazing!
The restaurant had a beautiful view. If you are ever in Southport, I highly recommend this place.

Saturday night we had dinner at The Dead End Saloon. We had mussels in garlic cream sauce with french bread and Old Bay chicken wings as appetizers. For my entree, I had a blackened mahi caesar salad that was delicious. Ryan had a Greek salad complete with tomato, onion, green peppers, black olives, cucumbers and pepperoncinis, topped with feta cheese, oregano and feta dressing. He enjoyed it.

Our friends are fabulous and so is the place they live. We had a short drive to the beach and laid out by the pier. Here is a list of awesomeness we saw in the short time we were there. We hated to leave because there was so much going on...
- We had the musical stylings of an air guitarist right in front of us for a good 30 minutes. He was complete with headphones and a cooler of beer.
- We watched people do backflips off of the pier. Not safe but fun to watch.
- We had mullets... the hair not the fish.
- We had cut-off sweatshirts that had been turned into muscle shirts. Classy.
- We had a skydiver parachute right behind our chairs.
- We had a DJ.
- We had a lady the size of Texas chugging vodka like it was water.

I left like I was in Cancun on spring break. It was so much fun. When we left at 5pm the beach was still crowded.

Thank you Brian and Kellie was a fabulous weekend. We will be back veryvery soon. ;-)