Tuesday, August 24, 2010

What 4 will bring

Four has been a good age so far. There have been a few minor hiccups though. Including but not limited to the following:

Sassy mouth.

Sassy mouth is going to be the death of me.

"I don't like you anymore."

"You're not my mama."

"I don't love you anymore."

"Oh, YES I will."

Sassy mouth makes my head spin around like the crazy girl from the Exorcist and spew green from my mouth. There are times I have had enough and I turn into Mommy Dearest.

The other day, I had to run to the post office. Of course, both of my girls were in tow.

Making it out of the tiny post office without at least one meltdown is a grand accomplishment. Well, the other day the girls did it. We went in. We got our stamp and box. We paid. We made it. No meltdowns.

When we got out in the parking lot, I was putting Bug in her seat.

"Big, go ahead and get in your seat and I will buckle you."

She was dancing. Not listening to anything I was saying.

"CAROLINE! Climb through and get in your seat. NOW!"

Now, she was doing the balance beam on a piece of cement in the parking lot.


"No you won't," she said.

Excuse me, sassy mouth? What did you say?

I gave her one more chance. She shouted NO!

I very calmly said fine, got into the car, locked the doors and cranked the car. (Now before you freak out and call DSS, there was no one in the parking lot and I was watching her every move.)

Well, needless to say she thought I was going to leave and she had a breakdown.

She got into her seat, buckled up, and I thought she would think twice before sassy mouthing me anymore.

I was wrong... of course.

The word "sorry".

She has also started acting out on purpose (ie. hitting Emma, pushing Emma). When Emma begins to cry, Caroline will say she is sorry.

Ryan hates the word sorry. It drives him nuts!

"Caroline, sorry doesn't mean anything," he will tell her.

At least 10 times a day, he has to remind her that sorry doesn't mean anything.

She always comes back with "Mom, tell Dad that sorry does mean something. Grandmom said it did!"

Anyway, the other night we were at my Mom's. Caroline got into some fire ants and had little bumps on her feet. Well, Mom popped one and Caroline lost it. I mean threw a FIT!

I was standing outside and heard the commotion. Caroline ran out of the house screaming, "DAYDAY, SORRY DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING! SORRY DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING!!"

At least we know she is slowly learning what that means. Ha!

Ugly words.

This has been an ongoing battle with Caroline because, to be honest, I say ugly words in front of her. I don't mean to most of the time... they just come out. What can I say? I was born a sailor.

Anyway, she has started this new rhyme "bam, bam, damn, damn."

Classy, Caroline. Very classy.

The first few times she said it she knew it was ugly. We would just tell her that she couldn't say that word.

She would take trips to the bathroom just to say her little rhyme. She would cover her mouth and say it.

Finally, I had had enough. She said it one morning and I told her that if she said it again that I would wash her mouth out with soap.

"No you won't."

Yes, that was sassy mouth talking.

A little while later I hear, "Emma! Bam, bam, damn, damn."

I very calmhy took her upstairs to the bathroom. Of course all I had was body wash. I took a little on my hand and rubbed it in her mouth. She cried for a minute and was over it.

Obviously the washing of the mouth did nothing because later she told a friend of mine, "Mom washed my mouth out with soap. It was pretty good."

Damn that coco butter body wash. Whatever happened to the nasty tasting bar soap? We will be investing in some before the end of the week.

So, to all of you mothers of terrible 2s and God awful 3s... just wait. This is what you have to look forward to at 4.

Hold on tight. It's a wild ride. I don't think it ever gets easier.


Kari said...

YIKES! I have some lever 2000 bars of soap if you would like me to give you some...LOL. I HATED getting my mouth washed out with soap!

Midwest Mommy said...

Oh lordy, I am not ready for all of this.

Ashley Manning said...

Hailey, you are hilarious!! Being a CPS worker, I fully believe in 'natural consequences'. Also, I hope you found some 'bad' soap - it should do the trick..I will never forget when my daycare teacher washed my mouth out with soap!! Hope today is good for you : )

Mira said...

My mom says age 4 is the worst for girls.