1st Tick Off Tuesday... On Friday

Dear high school classmate,

I did not like you in high school. It was a well known fact. Do not add me as a friend to your facebook page. We never spoke in high school. I can't help that you were not a nice person. Do not add me because you want to be a stalker and look at my pictures. I don't want you seeing pictures of my children. For future reference, I look the exact same. I have just gained 15 pounds. There is nothing else you need to know.

Always,
The same "stuck up bitch" that I was in high school

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Dear BFFs boyfriend,

I added you as a friend to my Facebook a few months ago. I see on my news feed that you are adding others as friends. You still have not added me. That is fine. I don't want to be your friend anyway. I made your girlfriend/my BFF aware of the situation. I now know that you obviously don't like me and guess what? I don't care. I care for very few people in this world and you are not one of them. Wow. I'm glad I got that off of my chest and out in the open.

Always,
Your girlfriend's BFF regardless of if you like me or not... I'm not going anywhere.

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Dear Facebook,

You suck. I want to delete you but I can't. I'm addicted.

Always,
Facebook Addict

Carolina, Big, Sweet Caroline

Sweet Caroline,

Before you were born, we dreamed of who you would be. I prayed that you would be strong and independent. Well guess what? God granted me my wish.

You, my sweet girl, are a breath of fresh air. You march to the beat of your own drum. No one can stop you. You try not to walk in a straight line just so no one can keep up with you.

Strong. We say the sky is blue and you, sweet girl, will do everything in your power to prove to us that it is purple. You are inquisitive and determined.

You are silly and full of spunk. You have issues with strangers though. You have a nervous habit of putting your fingers in your mouth when someone speaks to you. Your billy bad ass until a stranger says hello.

You make me want to pull my hair out. You are just like me. You stand your ground and never let up. The latter, you get from your Aunt Anna.

Sweet Caroline, you are smart and beautiful. Thank you for keeping us on our toes. I always wanted to be a ballet dancer. Guess what? Yet again, my wish was granted when you were born.

I admit...

As I lay in my soft bed tonight, I admit I have an issue. I am a parent with last child syndrome. Is that a real thing?

I know that Emma is my last baby. I know that I will never again have to use that 8 million pound baby carrier. I know that I will never again be able to babywear. I know that I will never again have a baby. I'm ok with that. I really am. It does not make me sad. However, it does not make me happy.

Emma Raegan. My sweet precious little princess. My baby. As I type, she is beside us in her crib holding tight to her Bebe and breathing ever so softly. What a sweet image. She will eventually wake and I will stumble across the piles of clothes to get her. We will make our way back to the bed and she will plop herself down between me and her Daddy. All the while she will hold on tight to Bebe.

She needs me. She needs me more than Caroline ever has. Caroline has always been Miss. Independent. Emma is my cuddler, my lover, my snuggler. She likes to be held. She likes to rickrock to sleep. "Bebe. Baba." she says. I give her Bebe and she holds on tight. I fix her a bottle of milk, and she immediately begins sipping away. {Yes, another problem. Bug still has her bottle. Don't judge.} She kisses Big and Daddy goodnight and off to rickrock we go. She is so stinking sweet, I could eat her.

I have this syndrome though. The child does something wrong and I smother her with kisses. She hits... I giggle. She throws herself in the middle of the floor... I smile. I coddle her. I don't push her. What is wrong with me? Is this normal?

I guess I'm holding on tight to my "Bebe", my Emma. Stay small just a little longer. Don't grow up yet. I know that it is inevitable but a mother can dream, yes?

I may be creating a monster... she's a pretty damn cute one though.



{Tomorrow- I write a letter to my princess, Caroline.}

Wordless Wednesday: Taking a break

NOTE: These are not my children. I don't even know these people. I just thought it was a beautiful opportunity to take a great picture. That is all... carry on.

Monday Randoms

1. I have been lacking in the blog department lately. There is no good reason why. I will be better this week... promise. I already have a few posts scheduled.

2. Emma's personality is really beginning to blossom. Ummm, yeah. In other words, homegirl has an attitude.

3. You know that Caroline changed her name to Lilly. Well, last week she was Eliza. {I LOVELOVELOVE that name by the way. Part of me wishes we had named Bug Eliza.} Now, she is Cinderella or Cindy for short.

4. Ryan and I didn't have a date night last weekend. Let's just say the tension was mounting and we needed to get away. It happened Friday night. We had dinner at Sumo and it was delicious. And because I always like to share what we eat... Ryan had a Dynamite Roll (Tuna, Yellowtail, Green onion w/ spicy chili sauce) and a simple California roll. I had a salad with ginger dressing (I can't get enough ginger salad dressing) and a Volcano Roll (just a warm California Roll with a torched variety sauce w/ Crab & Tobiko on top). For dessert, Ryan had beer and I had a Mr. Goodbar. My husband knows me all too well.

5. We watched The Lovely Bones. I don't know what to say about it. It makes you think way too much. It is not a movie that I will ever want to watch again.

6. I started watching Army Wives (via Netflix). I've watched the first four episodes of Season One and I am addicted. I stayed up until 2am last night watching. I just couldn't stop.

7. Had a pedicure with my sister. It is always so fun to spend time with her. We were sitting in our big, white, massage chairs chatting. Our feet were soaking in the water below and all was right with the world. UNTIL... one of the men that was doing nails walked over and threw a towel on Anna's lap. Anna had on a dress and I am guessing that the man and everyone else could see Anna's who-ha. That's always good. All we could do was laugh.

8. I have FINALLY learned how to make sweet tea... that is actually drinkable.

9. Have you seen the new Dyson Air Multiplier? OMG! It is a fan with no blades and I need it. PS- Dyson people... if you want to pay me or send me free Dyson stuff for being your spokeswoman... that would be just fabulous!

10. I need to clean my diamond. What do y'all use? I don't feel like dropping it off to get cleaned. I get nervous that they will lose it. Ha! I know that Jessica Simpson use to clean hers with Windex. I also heard that the Ultra Sonic cleaner was good. Tell me what y'all do.

11. My Kelly's Kids items arrived. That is all I have to say about that. Bitches.

12. Did I mention that Bug has an attitude. Very dramatic... that one is. Wonder who is gets that from? Yep. Her Daddy. ;-)

13. Caroline watched Wizard of Oz for the first time this past week. She loves it. Oddly enough the black and white part [in the beginning] is her favorite.

14. Maybe I will do a Mommy and Me Monday picture sometime this week. I haven't done one in a while. Did you do one this week?

At least. . .

... I can find beauty despite the fact that she is holding a gross turkey feather.

Celebrate

I used to believe that there was more than one soulmate for everyone.

It was just a matter of fate bringing two people together, becoming comfortable, and falling in love. It was scary to think that there was only one chance to fall in love. What if I missed it? What if I wasn't looking in the right place? There had to be more than one person that was meant to be my soulmate... right?

This theory was driven by my fears. My biggest was to be alone.

Then one hot summer evening, I met the boy I was going to marry. I didn't know it at the time and neither did he. I don't remember all the details but I remember leaning against the fence in my cute bikini (during the days of perky boobs and no stretch marks) and saying to my friends, "I'm going to marry him." Being that I was also going to marry the local banker, the local VW dealer, and my neighbor at the beach this statement didn't come as a surprise to those around me. (I believed in multiple soulmates, remember? I had to be prepared.)

A few months later, we began dating.

A few years later, we were pregnant.

A few months later, we were married.

A few months later, we were parents.

We didn't do it the storybook way. First love, then marriage, then baby carriage... not us. We bent the rules a little bit. We don't live a fairytale and there are some days that I want to rip his head off.

4 years of marriage is an accomplishment. Especially considering we have had two babies during that time. Don't laugh. I think one year of marriage is an accomplishment. You have to work at marriage. It isn't always rainbows and sunshine. Sometimes it is poopie diapers and big ugly rain clouds.

I often think to myself "if we can make it through this part, we can make it through anything". We are young, we have two small children, we have no money, and our communication skills suck. Our life is not terrible by any means. However, I'm hoping that this is the worst of times and that the best of times are yet to come.

I'm sure in a few years, we will look back and laugh. We make things work. We don't always work together but somehow it all works out.


10 years ago I met my future husband. I also learned that there was only one soulmate for a person. He is mine.

4 years of marriage is an accomplishment. Today we celebrate.

Ryan,
Thank you for making me the happiest girl in the world 4 years ago on this day. I will never forget it. The surprise ring, the Easter lilies, my growing belly, what we wore, our best friends, and how you demanded we not get married at the courthouse. Ha! I just wanted to pull a Britney Spears and be done with it. I'm glad you made me do it differently.
Thank you for making me smile and promising me that we will grow old together. Thank you for being the best Dad to our sweet girls. We all love you more than you will ever know.
Forever and always,
Hailey

PS- I will never be able to stand the way you brush your teeth but I will always love you.

PPS- It is time that you stop locking the bathroom door when you shower. 4 years of marriage and two children say that it is time. ;-)


"The most important thing in life is your family.
In the end, they're the people you always come home to. Sometimes it's the family you're born into and sometimes it's the one you make for yourself." ~Carrie Bradshaw Sex and the City

Pigs, Cows and Wheat

I grew up "in town".

I've never considered myself a "country girl". I am from the city. Not that the "city" is big.

I use to walk to the post office and piano lessons that took place on main street. You can hold your breath the entire walk down main street. That's how small it is.

I can hear the train each night and cars and trucks every morning.

For a long time we only had one stoplight in town. When we got stoplight number two on the highway, we thought it was something to celebrate.


But the country... oh the country.

I was there for a short time with my parents before getting married and having baby.

The quiet.

The peace.

The smell of dirt.

Knowing that the smell of hog shit poop just smells like money to most people.

I love it.

All of it.

I love knowing what crop is going to be planted where by the way the farmer plows the dirt. Corn versus tobacco mostly.

I love knowing that when the wheat comes down, the soy beans go up.

I love the clean air and the smell of tobacco.

When will I get back?

I'm only a 3 minute and 37 second drive from the boonies but I long to be there forever.


Forever and ever AMEN!

Awesome

There is something exciting on my giveaway blog!!!

Check it out HERE!!

Wordless Wednesday. . . with words AND instructions

Step One: Press Play
Step Two: You don't have to read the lyrics on the YouTube video.
Step Three: Just read what I wrote.
Step Four: Enjoy
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As a little girl, I can remember my Dad showing me sour grass for the first time. I thought it was the coolest thing since my hot pink Barbie Corvette.

Today, I introduced my girls to the delights of sour grass.

That acidic taste hits your tongue and makes you mouth curl.

It is simple.

It is beautiful.

It is such a sour taste, in such a sweet moment.

As I snapped pictures and rolled in the field of sour, I sang this beautiful song to my babies.

No, we were not among barley {our field was red not gold} but the song was perfect.
-------------------------

You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Among the fields of barley


You can tell the sun in his jealous sky
When we walked in fields of gold



So she took her love for to gaze awhile
Among the fields of barley


In his arms she fell as her hair came down
Among the fields of gold


Will you stay with me will you be my love
Among the fields of barley


And you can tell the sun in his jealous sky
When we walked in fields of gold


I never made promises lightly
And there have been some that I've broken
But I swear in the days still left
We will walk in fields of gold
We'll walk in fields of gold


I never made promises lightly
And there have been some that I've broken
But I swear in the days still left
We will walk in fields of gold
We'll walk in fields of gold


Many years have passed since those summer days
Among the fields of barley


See the children run as the sun goes down
As you lie in fields of gold


You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Among the fields of barley


You can tell the sun in his jealous sky
When we walked in fields of gold

Cuteness

Who do you see HERE?

Isn't she beautiful?

And isn't that hat too adorable?

Before, Behind, After

My wine glass sits before me, another day lies ahead.

Ryan just broke out in song. "I'm a cowboy, On a steel horse I ride. I'm wanted, dead or alive." Not cute, Ryan Jovi.

Emma is eating three week old nerds she is finding under the couch.

Caroline is so super tired she can hardly function and is doing everything possible to keep herself awake.

My wine glass sits before me, another day lies ahead.

The house is quiet now and I don't know what to do with myself.

This is my quiet time. My time to think, write, be me.

So many times I wonder what I did before marriage and babies.

What did I do with my life?

I have a purpose now. I guess I've always had purpose, I just know what it is now. I know my meaning and I love that.

My wine glass sits before me, another day lies ahead.

I'm thankful for every day I get to spend with my beautiful family.

I just hope tomorrow is better than today.

Bottoms up.

Randoms

1. The beach makes me happy.

2. So does my little family.

3. Date night Friday night was fun other than the fighting and the not speaking to my husband part. PS- If you know me, you know that I was definitely NOT the one that was not speaking. Stupid fight. It's over now. Thank goodness.

4. We had dinner at Shepard's Point in Morehead. I had a old school spinach salad with the best hot bacon dressing I've ever tasted and for my entree... fried chicken and waffles. This was probably the most fattening meal I've ever eaten. It was different. It was too odd not to order. I'm glad I did but I don't think I've ever order it again.

5. We attended a princess birthday party this weekend. All went well except for a small altercation between my child, the birthday princess, a toy key and the birthday princess' eye. Fun times.

6. We had the awesome opportunity to have two date nights this weekend. Saturday night we headed to one of my all time favorite restaurants, The Flying Shamrock. I had the Killarney Wrap which consisted of Sliced Grilled Chicken with melted Provolone Cheese, Lettuce, Tomato and Buffalo Sauce on a Spinach Flour Tortilla that was warmed in the sandwich press. The meal was complete the an awesome pasta salad. I also ate most of Ryan's Mile High Hot Sauce on my wrap because it was freaking delicious. It is made in a small town near ours and you should try it. If you are not from around here, you can order it online.

7. We watched the Blind Side tonight. Great movie. I cried a little.

8. Caroline went to bed Saturday night at 7:30 and slept till almost 9am Sunday morning. The chick was tired.

9. Bug fell Friday and hurt her knee Friday. It bled a little. She dealt with it well. She was proud of her booboo. Until today, after falling time and time again while playing putt-putt. Blood was running down her leg. Poor thing. Hopefully it will heal soon.

10. Cape Cod's Sweet and spicy Jalapeno chips are my new favorite. Thank you Ryan for introducing me.

11. I still have not received my order from Kelly's Kids. I was told it would ship this past Wednesday. I checked the status of my order Wednesday morning and it backordered even longer. I should cancel but I really want that dress for Caroline. When you see it, you will know why. It is beautiful!
My plan of action is as follows, I will call everyday at 4pm and speak with management about the status of my order. This will ensure that the backorder status will not keep changing. I can make their lives a living hell and by making a late afternoon call everyday... that should get it done. {Big thanks to my friend Jeff for the idea. You are awesome.}

12. On average my children say "Mama" or some form of the word AT LEAST 240,000 times a day. It has become obsessive and major thought is being put toward an effort to change my name. Any ideas are welcome.

13. I am done for tonight. I will write later. My book and bathtub are calling my name.

BUT... I can't leave without sharing a few more pictures.

be still my heart

Best 2 minutes and 32 seconds of my entire year.

Can you believe who is coming back into Carrie's life? O to the MG!

May 27th cannot get here fast enough.

The world is at your fingertips

...dance crazy...





...eat sand...



...wear silly glasses...


....give fives...


...wear zebra print and let your mommy take pictures of your cute butt...


...and let the wind blow in your face...



...always remember that you are loved...

...and that you rock...

Love,
Mommy/Aunt Hailey/Miss. Hailey

It's a big world.


Splash big and be noticed.

So not a proud moment

I guess I use the word vagina a little too much.

"Why don't you just crawl back up my vagina, Caroline?"

"He is such a vagina."

vagina.vagina.vagina.

So, I wasn't very surprised last night when my child made up a song saying the word vagina over and over again.

To bad she pronounces it bagina.

"Bagina.Bagina.lipsmack.Bagina.bagina."

Not so cute in front of Nana {the most conservative woman in the world} and my mom.

The small things are what matter most

There is this perfect moment that I don't hear often. In the past week, I've heard it twice.

It only lasts for a few seconds but when it is over your world is refreshed, renewed.

It first happened last Friday afternoon on the beach with the hubs.

There was a moment when the waves were quiet. When I was between words in my book. When I had just inhaled and their was a pause before my exhale. The wind stopped for a second.

It was perfect.

That moment, that quiet, that rest, was perfection. I dream that is what my Heaven will be like.

I've never heard that perfect moment until now. Maybe it's because I'm trying to learn how to not take life for granted so I am noticing the small things.

Next time you are on the beach. Take your time. It will happen when you least expect it. When it happens you will know it.

For a small moment the whole world is at rest and all is right in the world.

That quiet is forever-changing.

Spring Break

On Spring Break.

Be back soon.

Promise.

Ryan said for you to guess...

Where on the east coast do we vacation? Guess away!

Google if you must.

Sand, shells, and. . .

... oh MY!

It looks like Jaws. It isn't. There were porpoises playing right in front of us Friday afternoon.

Beach

Ryan surprised me Friday morning.

"Let's go to the beach. My mom will keep the children."

You don't have to twist my arm. "Beach" and "no children" in the same thought. Hailey is all in.

It was simple.


It was fun.


Dinner on the waterfront was amazing... as always. {We ate at the Ruddy Duck Tavern for those of you that are interested. It is one of our favorites. Ryan had their Jambalaya which is to die for. I had a Jamacian Jerk Tuna sandwich {cooked med. rare} with homemade chips and salsa and a side of Caribbean slaw. I don't even like slaw but this was so good. It even had a little coconut in it. Put this restruant on your list of must eat places. This is only our second time eating there. We thought that maybe the first time was great because they had just opened. The second visit was even more awesome than the first.}


We were in bed at 9:15pm.


It was perfect.


This is not us. We don't even know these people. It was just pretty.