I did not flip out when I couldn't find my USB cord for the camera. I mean really flip out!
I did not gag a little when I tried to eat Chinese food for the first time since getting sick right before giving birth to Emma. (This did not happen a few weeks ago... I just haven't posted a Not Me! Monday in a few weeks. My bad.)
I did not consume a whole can of Pepsi in less than a minute at any time this week. I will not tell you how many 2-liter Sprites I can put down in a week. You might tell me I need to go to rehab for soft drinkers.
I did not tell Caroline I was putting her in daycare from 6 am-6 pm because she was being TERRIBLE. She did not look at me like whatever... be serious.
I did not leave my wild-child in the kitchen alone only to go in and find this...
Salt. That is SALT my friends. SALT on top of smoked sausage (completely hidden under the salt) a roll and spinach. Can you say DELICIOUS!?
I did not almost not post the above picture because of the color of my countertops. Yellow. 1965ish yellow... I kid you not! Can you say BEAUTIFUL!? NO judgement... thanks.
I did not cook these brownies and leave them out overnight. I did not almost eat the four brownies that were left over. I did not throw them in the trash can only to find myself 45 minutes later wondering if I could still eat them. I then did not remember an episode of Sex and the City where Miranda did something similar with a cake. I then did not copy a fictional character by pouring dish soap all over them so I wouldn't think about them anymore. Sad. I know. It is just a freaking brownie Hailey.
I did not walk into a wall at anytime this week.
I did not laugh just a little when the wild-child looked at her daddy like "be serious" and then had a nervous breakdown in the middle of the floor. I mean a full-on nervous freaking breakdown. The hubs then looked at me like it was my fault. Whatever. Don't hate on the emotional.
I did not almost have a nervous breakdown myself tonight when the hubs asked me to cook ANOTHER meal. I did not cook pancakes for breakfast... the meal pictured above on Caroline's plate for lunch but with rice... and then he asks for dinner too. Whatever. I cooked. I wasn't happy but I did it. Welcome to 1940... where the wife cooks three full meals a day. Get over it. We were only visiting the 40's for one day.
I did not watch an infomercial for the magicjack for more than 5 minutes because I was too lazy to get up and find the remote.
Ok... enough of my brutal honesty. Try it yourself. Oh, and be sure to go visit MckMama who started it all. She is one of the most fabulous people I "know". And why don't you try a Not Me! Monday. Here are the complete rules.