Letter to Emma- Month 2

~*This is late. I wrote it on the 26th but didn't have time to proof read it and post it until today!*~


Dear sweet Em,

Two months. You were born two months ago. You took that first sweet, precious breath two months ago. Can you believe it? What did we do without you? What did we do when it was just Mommy, Daddy and Caroline? I ask myself that everyday. I did the same thing when your sister was born.

With your first child you are so sleep deprived you cannot function. You don't know what you are going to do when you have another little baby. You don't think that you will be able to function. You don't think you will be able to live through the newborn stage again. You have proved me wrong my sweet angel. You are a wonderful baby. You love to lay on your tummy, sit in your chair, or lay in my lap and sleep. You are sleeping for 5-6 hours during the night which still amazes me. My fingers are still crossed that Caroline will sleep soundly for 5-6 hours a night. *Fingers crossed*

During the day, our house is chaos. At times I catch myself staring at you sleeping wondering what you are thinking. I wonder if you are saying to yourself, "Man... if she yells at that thing they call a Caroline one more time... I'm going to poop or pee all over her." Yes, you have done both twice in the past two days.

Nights are our thing. Every night I take you upstairs and swaddle you. I lay you down in your bassinet but it's never right the first time. You always squirm. I pick you up and swaddle you again, kiss your little head, and lay you down. You do a little sigh and you are off to sleep. When you wake up for a feed is my favorite. The whole house is quiet. It is just me and you... in that moment. The soft hum of the fan, the sweet sound of you drinking your bottle, your skin against mine... it couldn't be more perfect. I'll change your diaper and look at your big blue eyes. I kiss you and tell you I love you and lay you back down. You look up at me with those eyes. Those eyes. It is almost as if you understand and hang on to every word I say. I kiss you one more time and you go to sleep. Our nights are perfect. Absolutely perfect.

Your corrected age is one week yet I've been able to hold you in my arms for 2 whole months. What a wonderful 2 months it has been. I am so looking forward to all the things that are to come. Stay sweet and know that I love you forever.

Love always,
Mommy

Not Me! Monday.

This is me being brutally honest. I will probably regret posting some of these later. Oh well, whatever.

I did not let my two year old wild child make me cry at any time this week.

I did not eat a whole bag of peanut M&Ms.

I did not fold clothes that the hubs thought were dirty and pretend they were washed and clean.

I am not secretly hoping he doesn't read my blog very often.

I did not refuse to wash clothes this weekend.

I did not laugh behind the wild child's back when she looked at the hubs very serious and said "BULLSHIP DADDY!" (Shout out to my Mama (aka KK)... don't worry. This doesn't happen often and we ignored her. We gave her NO reaction so maybe she will not say it anymore.) She only repeats the bad sometimes.

I do not know where she could have possibly heard this. It was not me. Nope.

I did not learn that I really have to watch what I say around her. Next, she will go to church talking about bullship and cracks.

I did not get jealous while watching Beyonce on the AMAs. WOW... girlfriend can dance.

"If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it." I did not stand up and pretend to sing and dance like her. That would be silly.

The wild child did not laugh at me. She secretly wishes she had my AWESOME moves. :-)

I did not freak out a little when I realized there are only 30 days until Christmas. HELLO I need to begin shopping. I have bought ONE gift. I am on a roll. Most of you probably have your shopping done. Whatever. Just sit at home and pray for me while I shop. I tend to go a little crazy this time of year while out in public with the rest of the citizens of NC. They all seem to gather where I am shopping.

I did not write this while eating Reeses.

I did not HAVE to drink a Coke because that is what the hubs bought instead of Pepsi. UGH!
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MckMama is so awesome to start Not Me! Mondays.
Go over to her blog and check out how you can be part of our Not Me! Monday chaos.

Supine Sunday Snidbits

It has been a relaxing, lazy weekend.
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Friday the hubs and I went to dinner with our friends Justin and Jordan.

I drank a margarita.

On the rocks.

No salt.

Finally.

It was delicious.
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Saturday the hubs and I took the wild child shopping.

Good thinking on the hubs part when he decided NOT to take a stroller.

I totally said... if we don't take it... YOU WILL carry her when she doesn't want to walk anymore. He was all "ok whatever I will."

WHATEVER!

The only time he carried her was when she would walk at the pace of a dead slug.

In stores, she wanted to run everywhere.

I was left to deal with it while he was all in shopper mode... like I am NOT ALWAYS in shopper mode.
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Went to Cracker Barrel for dinner.

Wild child went crazy and pushed the table at the hubs.

People looked.

Fun times.
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I am so ready to decorate for Christmas.

I just don't feel right doing it before Thanksgiving.

The Saturday after Thanksgiving is when I've ALWAYS put my Christmas tree up.

Therefore... I will decorate the blog.
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I am going to attempt to make my first pecan pie tonight.

Going to make NMB's momma's CHOCOLATE pecan pie.

I will let you know how it turns out.

Pray that my oven cooperates.

It is totally off.

It is about 75-100 degrees higher than what I think it is.

For example, if directions say to preheat oven to 400. I have to preheat oven to 300-325.

NOT EVEN KIDDING.

The oven is from like 1945. And it's yellow like the countertops... and floor... and I will stop there.
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We made pilgrim hat cookies from here.

And turkey cookies from here.

They were YUM-O!
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I finally got a picture of the hubs with the wild child and the little one.

Cuteness.
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Thats the end of Supine Sunday Snidbits.

Do you have any weekend snidbits you would like to share?

Letter to Caroline- Month 28.

Sweet Caroline,

It has been a crazy month. CRAZY. You have really tested me this month. You have pushed your limits. You are truly in your terrible twos. I am ready for the 3s... so is Daddy. But, we will make it. We are learning. Slowly... but we are learning.

You are all about cooking. You love to help me. You pull your chair up to the counter and help me pour, stir, and taste test. Maybe one day I can pass the job of cooking on to you. Maybe your cooking will be better than mine.

You have an obsession with band-aids now A few months ago, you would have panic attacks over them. Now, you request at least two band-aids a day for your imaginary boo-boos. You INSIST on putting the band-aid on yourself. No one is allowed to help you.

We enjoy dancing together. We dance around everywhere. We sing and "shake my booty." That is what you say... "shake my booty, shake my booty." Your new favorite song is Johnny and June by Heidi Newfield. I was sitting in the den feeding Emma the other night and heard you in the kitchen singing it. Daddy tuned in with you. I guess we have rubbed off on him a little. He breaks out in random song like us now. Next, maybe he will break out in random dance moves. That will be funny, huh?

You have become a dressy bessy. You have been going to church on Sunday with KK and Jay since Daddy and I have to stay at home with Em-Em. You have it set in your mind what you want to wear. It has to be perfect. One Sunday I had to fight with you because you insisted you wanted to wear your Cinderella Halloween costume. I said no. You said yes. We fought. I won. But I was ready to give up and just let you wear the crazy costume. It is important to you. You think that the dress is the most beautiful thing in the world. That and your sparkle shoes. You wear those EVERYWHERE and with EVERYTHING.

Even though it has been a rough month, it has been fun at times. When you aren't being wild, you help me with Emma and say some sweet things. Sometimes you will just walk up and kiss me and Daddy just because. It never fails, before you leave to go ANYWHERE... even if it is just pretend... you say, "Bye! I love you!" You kiss your Daddy repeatedly for no reason and you can't keep your hands off of Emma. You are a special kid. You are full of life and full of love.

Keep growing sweet Caroline. You make my life complete.

I love you,

What the crap?

Every gray hair tells a story.

The three I found this morning are telling my stories from yesterday.

23.

I'm only twenty-three.

I will have a full head of hair by 30.


What the trials and tribulations of mommyhood will do to you.

And to think... this is JUST the BEGINNING!



PS- I pulled them out... AND it's BS if you tell me that three will grow back in its spot. I will just pull 9 out tomorrow. No biggie.

Crazy child of mine.

I did it.

I took Emma to my Nana's.

I strapped Caroline in her carseat.


I made a mixed CD with all my new favorite songs.

I stopped and got gas for the first time in like eight weeks... HELLO... it was $1.95. Coolness.

I went to my Heaven on earth.

TARGET.

It was so nice to be back.

It was so nice to be back in my own Target.

Me and C.

Then Caroline decided to ruin our great time.

Standing up in the cart.

Yelling.

Screaming.

Pulling my hair.

Pinching me.

People looked.

People stopped to stare.

WHAT!

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!

SHE'S TWO!!!!

I can't discipline her.

It is a joke.

Nothing works.

Time out... JOKE!

Spanking... whatever. (Don't EVEN judge me for spanking. I've tried everything.)

She pinches... I pinch. She pulls hair... I pull hair. She bites... I bite.

NOTHING.WORKS.

Today was even worse. I have 4 bite marks on my body. I have little pinch marks on my body. I looked abused... BY A TWO YEAR OLD!

I popped her bottom after the first bite... do you want to know what her reaction was?

She ran to the kitchen and pulled the silverware drawer out and slammed it back in about 10 times.

I may regret saying this after I type it but I even told her that the recycle man was going to get her as he was picking up our recycling today.

Do you think she cared? Nope.

She looked at me and said, "Me go to recycle man house?"

She then walked to the front door and said, "Me go to recycle man house. Bye."

I called Santa today too.

She didn't care.

When I got off of the phone with Santa, she called him.

She admitted she was bad.

"Me not nice. Me no present."

She doesn't care.

Do any of you have children like Caroline?

Children that you just can't discipline?

I need help.

NOW... before I pull all of my hair out and poke out my eyes.

Thanks.

OhMommy is at it again girlfriend.

Look at those legs... in those skinny jeans.

That's OhMommy... I stole the pic from her blog. I should lie and say that it is me. I hope my legs look that great in skinny jeans.

12 weeks.

12 weeks of working out hard.

12 weeks of working her butt off.

She did it for her.

She did it so she would feel good about herself.

Look at skinny mama in those skinny jeans.

Like she said, "if Mama ain't happy no one is happy, right?"

Now, she is giving back to her readers.

Fabulous OhMommy is giving away more You by Crocs!

This time it's these fabulous boots.


Head on over to her site for your chance to win.

I really want them.

BAD!

Boots are my weakness.

Happy Harper Stamps Day!

In my mind I have been calling this day Miss. Harper Stamps Day. Really, I'm just participating in a bloggy baby shower for Kelly and Scott Stamps. By calling it Miss. Harper Stamps day in my mind... I knew I wouldn't forget that today was the shower. (The things you do to remember certain events when you have a two year old and newborn at home. I'm lucky to put on a pair of shoes that match.) Kelly is an amazing woman that I follow in this blog world of mine. She struggled for a baby. Her relationship with God only grew stronger with the time that passed when she couldn't get pregnant. Then we saw this.


Yahh!! Soon we found out that it was a girl and she would be named Harper Brown Stamps. I couldn't have been more excited if Kelly was my real-life best friend.

I put Kelly right on up there on my list of blogs I can't live without. She is among some of the greatest... like MckMama, Angie and OhMommy. I always save these blogs for last when I'm going through google reader reading new posts. I like to save these 4 "bests" for last.

Anyway, congratulations Kelly and Scott. You will make wonderful parents. I have no parenting advice. Sorry. It is a trial and error type gig. Do your best and pray you don't mess up too much. I'm only kidding. :-) I can't wait to "meet" this sweet Harper. She is truly blessed to have parents that love her like you both.

Not Me! Monday.

I did not flip out when I couldn't find my USB cord for the camera. I mean really flip out!

I did not gag a little when I tried to eat Chinese food for the first time since getting sick right before giving birth to Emma. (This did not happen a few weeks ago... I just haven't posted a Not Me! Monday in a few weeks. My bad.)

I did not consume a whole can of Pepsi in less than a minute at any time this week. I will not tell you how many 2-liter Sprites I can put down in a week. You might tell me I need to go to rehab for soft drinkers.

I did not tell Caroline I was putting her in daycare from 6 am-6 pm because she was being TERRIBLE. She did not look at me like whatever... be serious.

I did not leave my wild-child in the kitchen alone only to go in and find this...


Salt. That is SALT my friends. SALT on top of smoked sausage (completely hidden under the salt) a roll and spinach. Can you say DELICIOUS!?

I did not almost not post the above picture because of the color of my countertops. Yellow. 1965ish yellow... I kid you not! Can you say BEAUTIFUL!? NO judgement... thanks.

I did not cook these brownies and leave them out overnight. I did not almost eat the four brownies that were left over. I did not throw them in the trash can only to find myself 45 minutes later wondering if I could still eat them. I then did not remember an episode of Sex and the City where Miranda did something similar with a cake. I then did not copy a fictional character by pouring dish soap all over them so I wouldn't think about them anymore. Sad. I know. It is just a freaking brownie Hailey.

I did not walk into a wall at anytime this week.

I did not laugh just a little when the wild-child looked at her daddy like "be serious" and then had a nervous breakdown in the middle of the floor. I mean a full-on nervous freaking breakdown. The hubs then looked at me like it was my fault. Whatever. Don't hate on the emotional.

I did not almost have a nervous breakdown myself tonight when the hubs asked me to cook ANOTHER meal. I did not cook pancakes for breakfast... the meal pictured above on Caroline's plate for lunch but with rice... and then he asks for dinner too. Whatever. I cooked. I wasn't happy but I did it. Welcome to 1940... where the wife cooks three full meals a day. Get over it. We were only visiting the 40's for one day.

I did not watch an infomercial for the magicjack for more than 5 minutes because I was too lazy to get up and find the remote.

Ok... enough of my brutal honesty. Try it yourself. Oh, and be sure to go visit MckMama who started it all. She is one of the most fabulous people I "know". And why don't you try a Not Me! Monday. Here are the complete rules.

Meet our VIP.

Meet Emma, our VIP (Very important preemie).

I saw this cute saying online today.

I want to re-introduce our VIP.

So, Meet Emma Raegan.

Born at 32 weeks.

2 pounds 15 ounces.

16 inches long.


Now, I want YOU to introduce me to YOUR VIP.

Tell me YOUR story. Here is mine.

Our VIP is doing great!

I may run up to the doctors office sometime this week to have her weighed again before her 2 month well baby visit. The last time she was weighed (November 6th) she weighed 5 pounds! Yahh Emma!!

Miss. Emma will be 8 weeks old Friday. My original due date is tomorrow. Can you believe it? 8 weeks has flown by! It sounds strange to say that she has been her for almost two months and she is still suppose to be inside of me.

Ok, so now it's your turn. Tell me about your VIP... (please comment or e-mail me so I don't feel stupid. If you come back in two days and there are no comments, send me a message about your baby even if it wasn't a preemie. thanks a bunch.)

I am a bum. Welcome to Bums Anonymous.

My days are becoming somewhat ridiculous.

I wake up when Caroline comes in my room and wakes me.

I come downstairs and cook breakfast.

We eat.

I feed Emma.

Hello... it's 10.

I pick up the mess laying around the house.

I make the beds.

Caroline and I start talking about lunch.

We eat at 11:30ish.

Emma eats at 12.

I could keep going on and on.

I won't.

I'm tired.

And to make things worse... I wake up and put my 7 year old Uggs.


All the fashion magazines say this is a big NO!

Hailey says Uggs are a big YES.

They are fabulous and I love them.

I will not lie.

I wear them everyday.

I wear them out in public too.

Some of you are probably calling me ugly names behind my back now.

Whatever.

Give me a bag of Cheetos and a Red Bull then you can start calling me Britney. Britney Spears that is.

Don't get me wrong, my closet is FULL of beautiful shoes and boots.

I have a great pair of Miz Mooz.

I have a beautiful pair of Tony Lama's similar to these but much prettier.

My Jessica Simpson cowboy boots are great too.

Then there are the beautiful pointy brown stiletto boots from Aldo.

And then... there are my green boots... with a red sole. Do you think? Really... could they be... Christian Louboutin's? You decide. I'll never tell.


Yet, I choose to wear Uggs... everyday... like a bum.

Hello, my name is Hailey and I am a bum.

*ALL TOGETHER NOW... "HELLO HAILEY"*

I don't have a title and I don't feel like thinking of something creative.

Hey.

I'm here.

Back in the blogging world.

I haven't been writing.

But I have been reading your blogs... and commenting on some.

I have no time.

No time at all.

Sometimes I go all day and don't even tinkle.

Yesterday I didn't even brush my teeth until after lunch. (Did I just write that?)
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Caroline is great.

Still my little wild child.

This is what I found in the chair after her snack the other day.


When I asked her what she had done... she stepped on them more.

Fun times.
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Emma is great.

Little butterball loves to eat.

She is still as tiny as ever.

Here is a picture of my ring (I got last Christmas from the hubs... pretty huh?) on her hand. You can see how tiny she is.


She sleeps with one eye open.. sometimes two.

She eats every 3-4 hours... but starts wanting to feed again every 2.

She is a sweet, sweet baby and I have enjoyed every minute of her being a baby.

I pushed Caroline to grow up. I wanted her to sit up... I wanted her to walk... I wanted her to talk... I wanted her to be potty trained... I wanted her to do it all so fast. With Emma, I have taken things slow. Maybe it's because she is still suppose to be in the womb.
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I bought this sling.

Well my Mom did.

Thanks Mom.

We LOVE it!

Isn't it fabulous??

Em-Em is still getting use to it but she seems to be adjusting well.

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Here is Caroline feeding Emma for the first time.


Caroline is a great helper... sometimes. :-)

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My new favorite thing to do...

RECYCLE!


My Nana got me hooked on recycling.

It makes you feel good to know you are doing something good for the environment... try it!
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Caroline woke me up this morning.

"Mommy. I eat ban-aid"

"You ate a band-aid?"

"Uh-huh."

Wonderful.

Is she telling me the truth? Who knows?!

Whatever... I am just praying it was a clean one.
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that's all for tonight.

i literally can't hold my eyes open.

goodnight.

Letter to Emma- Month 1

Sweet Em,

I can't believe it has been a month since you were born. It was one of the scariest times of my life. We made it though. We are tough girls that fight. What a fighter you are.

I left the hospital on the 29th of October. I had to leave you. My heart ached for weeks. I wanted you at home with me. I visited you daily and would sit with you for hours. Each night before I went to sleep, I would call your night nurse and get an update. I kept a diary for you to read. A diary of how much you weighed, how much you gained, and little fun facts about things that you did that day.

These past few weeks have been difficult. Everyone was use to the upbeat Hailey. The funny Hailey. The Hailey that doesn't let things bother her. The Hailey that has her stuff together. Well, they met the Hailey that cried on numerous occasions because you weren't at home with me. They met the sleep deprived Hailey that woke up every two hours because her body was saying feed Baby Emma but you weren't at home with us yet. They met the tired Hailey that was still trying to be a good Mommy to Caroline but still be with you too. The Hailey that was ready for things to be back to normal... whatever normal may be. At times I felt as if I had the world on my shoulders and wasn't strong enough to hold it up. But I made it. The Beatles once wrote a song that said "I get by with a little help from my friends." Thank goodness for our family and friends that kept me grounded and let me know that everything was going to be alright.

I may be strong but we all have breaking points. We all have those moments in life that we feel like we can't handle. In the beginning, there were days that I rarely smiled or laughed. Every day that passed, it took my breath away a little less when I would have to leave you. If I could make it outside without the lump in my throat rising until tears fall I was doing good.

Am I thankful? Extremely. Thankful for you and your beautiful sister. Two beautiful girls. What more could a Mom ask for? Thankful for our family and friends. Thankful for a healthy baby girl.

Like I said before you are a fighter. You were 32 weeks old and you were breathing on your own less than 2 hours after you were born. You were on CPAP for a short time right after you were born. I am amazed by your strength.

There is always good, there is sometimes bad, and most of the time it is chaotic around here. My world has been all three this month. Things are getting better now. Things are slowly getting back to normal (again, whatever normal may be). No matter what... whether it's good, bad or chaotic... I wouldn't trade being a mommy for the world.

Happy One Month Em-Em. Welcome home.

Love Always and Forever,


PS- You came home on October 26th. Exactly one month after you were born. :-)
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I can do everything through Him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

When did I start hating Halloween?

Yesterday.

Maybe it was one day last week.

I don't remember when I started hating Halloween.

I love putting all my cute decorations around the house.

I love carving the pumpkin.


I love dressing Caroline up.


(Caroline with Mary George (Pink Princess) and her friend.)

I love candy.

However, I don't love candy around the house.

Caroline wants candy for breakfast, lunch, snacks, and dinner.

As I type she is sitting in the chair, watching Barney, eating M&M's, and has made up a song about eating at Bojangles.

These days some parents don't allow candy. They sure wouldn't let their children watch 3 Barney episodes in a row... and their children sure as heck wouldn't know what Bojangles was.

Wild child with M&M leftovers on her face

Most parents would freak out. I just wipe her mouth off and move on.

But you know, she ate a sausage biscuit for breakfast. She will eat a well balanced lunch. So I just say... whatever. Let her eat a few M&M's.

However, it is a battle that I am sick of fighting.

I am tired of hiding the candy.

I am tired of telling her if she does something she will be rewarded with candy.

I am tired of telling her that candy is NOT a breakfast food.

Therefore my friends... I have solved the problem. I am eating the whole loot.

You heard me every single piece. I have made it my mission.

The doctor said I needed extra calories for my milk production... here I go (opening a Twix)... piece number 1 only 5 million left to go.

Maybe it will be all gone one day.

I will sign this letter Mean Mommy (who eats all of your Halloween candy) for today.



PS- Who passes out Almond Joys? I'll tell you who... my Daddy George. Gross. Of course Caroline enjoys them. Weird child.