Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Oh Christmas TREES

This year, I was so excited about decorating for Christmas.

I had tons of cute little items to sit around.  We were actually in a house and not a 2 bedroom apartment that came straight from 1962... yellow kitchen applicances and all.
I decided to do three trees this year.

The family tree...

We decided on a top hat as our tree topper this year.  Ryan wasn't very fond of it at first.  However, it is too cute for words and I had to have it.


Bug's tree...

I am a huge fan of white trees with multicolored lights.  It makes me super happy.


This is Big's tree...

Big's tree is a little sad with no tree skirt.  I can't find one that I love.  Until I do, her tree will be skirtless.  Big decided she wanted the green tree this year.  She said she wanted white and pink lights.  Well, I made it work.  Ha!


I guess you can count the ficus tree as a Christmas tree as well...

Please ignore the paper whites that have fallen over.  I have done everything I know to do to keep them standing.  They are just too damn top heavy.


I don't know about you but glitter is my weakness... especially at Christmas time.  LOVE it!  I found this awesome glitter present at the pottery. What made it even better???  It's harlequin.  My two favorite things rolled into one.

I have had a few comments on my chalkboard.  "Happy Birthday!" ~Frosty

People read it as "Happy Birthday Frosty!"

Have you never seen the movie Frosty the Snowman.  He yells HAPPY BIRTHDAY in the cutest way EVER!

Caroline made the cute Santa Christmas tree topper.  She decided to put it on the rooster head for laughs.


I have no great way to display Christmas cards.  I decorated this table with Christmas decor and threw the cards in a green wire bread basket.  I tied a few red bows with grosgrain ribbon and voila!  It's the best I can do this year.  My goal before next year to is make a board like Megan did.  So cute!!


I had TONS of ornaments left over this year since we bought all new ornaments for the "family tree".  We wanted everything on that tree to match this year.  Anyway, I grabbed the triffle dish that I "borrowed" from my Mom and threw a bunch of ornaments in there.  Add a little houndstooth ribbon to the base and voila!!

MacKenzie-Childs catalog beside it.  I look through that thing a million times a day... seriously.  One day (in my dreams) I will own whole collections of MacKenzie-Childs.

A girl can dream right?


So there you have it.  My decorations in a few photos.  I have so many ideas for next year, I can hardly stand it.

From our family to yours

Big THANK YOU to Megan Wade for taking the BEAUTIFUL picture of my girls.  You are awesome!!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011


stomach bug got the girls.

have been up to my knees in vomit.

will finish christmas posts soon.

finishing laundry... dishes... edits... mopping... disinfecting... blahblahblah!

peace&love. -H

Thursday, December 8, 2011


Caroline got in the car the other day.

I always ask her how her day was and what she learned.

"Mom! We learned about Hanukkah!"

"Wow! That is cool! What did you learn about Hanukkah."

She went on and on about the Menorah, the Star of David, a dreidel, and potato latkes she colored in a mini Hanukkah Booklet. "Those are just potato pancakes, Mom" she said.

I was smiling and it made my heart happy. I love that Caroline is learning about many different cultures and their holiday celebrations. Then it came...

"And they get presents for EIGHT days, Mom! EIGHT DAYS! But they only get one present a day. But that is still cool. EIGHT DAYS OF PRESENTS!!! Do we celebrate Hanukkah Mom?"

"No babe. We celebrate Christmas. We are Christian and we are celebrating Jesus' birthday. The Jewish celebrate Hanukkah."

"Oh. So we are not Jewish?"


"Dag. I want to be Jewish."

I just giggled.

Christmas is upon us

I can't believe that Christmas is almost here!

I am nowhere near done with shopping for gifts. Then again, I ALWAYS wait until the last minute.

My house is slowly coming together with Christmas decorations. I wish I could leave them up all year. They make the house seem so warm and cozy.

I added two Christmas paintings to my collection.

Meet Mr. Santa Frog.

It is actually Lisa's vertical jumping frog with a Santa hat, belt, and boots.

Love him!

I also have this painting in the hall bathroom/girls bathroom.

It is by far one of my favorite paintings I've ever done.

I also have this cuties on the counter...

I love glitter.

Most of the time I go totally overboard with glitter.

Speaking of, my wreath on the front door is very glittery!

Yuck! I just noticed how smushed my bow looks. Oh well. I am too lazy to go out, fix it and take another picture.

Anyway, don't you love how it is complete with red glitter door hanger.

Here is a glittery close-up shot.

I could tell you that I made this.

I would totally be lying though. I am definitely not that creative and talented.

Speaking of creative and talented, I had an old smushed green wreath in my Christmas boxes.

With a little ribbon, it now completes the chest in my den.

Look at the bow! I am normally terrible at tying bows but this one turned out pretty good. I couldn't believe it.

A pretty perfect bow. Maybe I am a little talented.

Eat your heart out Martha Stewart!

Tomorrow, I will share our Christmas trees. Yes, that is plural.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Catch up

Let's play catch up...

- Emma is loving school. No crying this year and she is even talking to her friends some. Fabulousness!!

- Caroline is loving school... finally! Her teacher just got married which was super exciting to her. She got her first reading list and she will check out her first AR book very soon. She is so much child. Can't wait to check out a library book. Remember how library books use to smell? I can't wait to smell that smell again.

- Emma still loves bows. BIG bows. Help me, God. Heather and Amanda, I am going to need your ebay seller lady's name please.

- Caroline's speech is going crazy again. She can't get words out. She isn't stuck on any one sound or blend. I have no idea what to do. It was bad a few weeks ago and now you can't even tell she has a problem. Help wanted.

- Halloween was super exciting. NOT! It rained and we only went to three house. Thank goodness for Trunk or Treat at church. We still have loads of candy.

- Revenge is the most fabulous show on TV. Seriously.

- Anna and I went to Lisa Jordan's All Girls Halloween Bash. I was suppose to be Wilma Flintstone. However, I looked more like Betty Rubble in a white dress.

See the wine glass I am holding? Lisa paints those. I have ordered 4 for Christmas and I am so excited I can hardly stand it.

- Speaking of Christmas, I already have my list made. Yayy!

- At the top of that list... this. An electric corkscrew. Hot damn! I used it this weekend at my SIL & BIL's house. It is the bomb dot com.

- I have tons of pictures to share.

- I need to blog again. I miss it. I always make empty promises about blogging though. Ugh! I wish I could post less on FB and more on here.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

New recipe.

Just added my favorite shrimp recipe on my food blog ;-)

Be sure to try it!!

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Emma starts school

Emma started preschool.

Although she is almost three, her birthday does not meet the cut off for our county so she is in the two year old preschool class.

She had a great first day.

She cried when I dropped her off.

She clung to me like a little spider monkey and screamed but all was well when I picked her up.

I think she will come out of her shell this year.

She may even say a few words for her teachers.

Her dress is from Matilda Jane. It is the Adriana Wrap Dress from the You & Me collection. It is sold out but you can find it on ebay. If you are interested in their clothes, message me and I will give you the trunk keepers contact information.

Her shoes were found at Old Navy last year on the clearance rack for a BIG $3.00.

Here are a few more pictures. Sorry the first one is foggy up top. It was soooo humid out that my lens fogged up :-(

Here is to a fabulous new preschool year...

Tuesday, September 6, 2011


Caroline is dramatic.

I have NO idea who she gets it from.

She likes Kindergarten but according to her on Friday afternoon she was "NEVER going back to Kindergarten EVER!"

Dramatic AND emotional.

After drop off in the morning, I need a nap.

Anyway... Friday morning, I walked her into class and she ripped my shirt down exposing my bra to a classroom full of Kindergartners and parents. It was one of my prouder moments as a parent.

Today she cried and began crawling up my leg so I threw her at her teacher and ran out the door without so much as a "have a good day!". Talk about feeling like a fabulous parent.

So, now on Thursday she has to begin walking to class by herself.

I will have to drive through the carpool lane, she will have to get out of the car and walk to class by herself.

I have been trying to prepare her.

She is totally going to show her ass and I am prepared for that as well.

I just hate it.

I know she can do it.

I am not concerned about her finding her class.

I am concerned about her getting out of the car without ripping someones face and/or shirt off.

And to be quite honest, I don't really feel like seeing the carpool worker's boobs.

So, for those of you at our elementary school... calm your nervous systems Thursday. Do NOT beep the horn at me when I hold up the line because I KNOW I will be holding up the line.

I have a 5 year old emotional nutjob and I'm not afraid to send her to take you down.

Consider yourself warned.

Friday, September 2, 2011


I am sure from the outside looking in, my family can be comical at times.

After fights when I think the world has ended (I am not at all dramatic), I sit down and think back. To be honest, most of the time laugh out loud at my life.

Just the other day, I was talking to the girls.

I don't even remember the conversation but Caroline was excited about what we had talked about.

I turned to walk to the back of the house and all of a sudden I hear, "HOLLA!"

Excuse me?

Now, I will admit to using the word "holler" after a statement I agree with. More Southern than ghetto fabulous. "Don't cook tonight. Let's order pizza." I would respond with "holler!"

But from my 5 year old?

Your 5 year old is a math prodigy, you say?

Well, my 5 year old now uses the word "Holla".

Boo! In yo face!

Welcome to the real world.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Giggle for today. . .

All of the Kitchen Queens will love this...


Thursday, August 25, 2011


Yesterday was the big day!

Big is now a Kindergartener.

I can hardly believe it!

I decided to do the picture above each year (until she says no) to document how she grows and changes. I got the idea from Pinterest of course ;-)

We set her Hello Kitty alarm clock last night for 7am.

She didn't understand the whole concept. She kept saying "what if it doesn't wake me up?"

"It will wake you up!" I promised.

She mumbled it was toooooo early!!

And to be honest she had a minor meltdown at the kitchen table during breakfast.

Crying and screaming "I don't want to go to Kindergarten. It isn't going to be fun. I don't want to go."

She hopped in the bath tub then we got dressed.

I put curlers in her hair.

She started feeling better.

It was the dress, the shoes and the curled hair that made her get excited.

After getting ready, it was time to go. I expected another meltdown but she did great. This time, it was the backpack and lunch box that made her excited.

She was ready AND excited!

We picked her up at 2:50pm and she said she had a great day.

We asked questions about what she did and who she talked to but all she would say was "I don't know".

Tuesday is her next day of school (due to staggered enrollment for Kindergarten).

We will see how Tuesday goes.

Fingers crossed.

I had a good day too.

No tears!

Yayyy me!

Emma and I did a little shopping and grabbed lunch at Sonic.

We missed Big.

It made for a long day but we will get used to it.

I will tell you though, there was one happy Bug when her sister came home.

5 years has gone so quickly and I can't believe you are a Kindergartener. I am so proud of you and I love you more than anything! ~Love, Mom

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Caroline starts Kindergarten tomorrow!

We had a great orientation yesterday.

It took Caroline a minute to warm up.

While I filled out papers, she played in the centers.

We found out she starts school tomorrow.

With Kindergarten doing staggered enrollment, Caroline will go tomorrow and then will not go back until Tuesday.

We have everything ready.

She has all of her supplies.

A cute book bag.

A cute lunch box.

A fabulous dress.

Fabulous shoes.

Now, if we can just make it through tomorrow without crying like babies...

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Kindergarten Teacher.

We meet our Kindergarten teacher today.

Actually in about 2 hours.

We got the teacher I wanted her to get (without requesting). We can't request at our school :-(

All of our preschool friends are in other classes though.

I am worried sick.

I just pray that Caroline meets lots of friends and has a fabulous year.

Wish us luck!

I'll update you this afternoon!

Friday, August 19, 2011


While on the subject of boobs, did you know that Sunday is National Go-Topless Day?

Neither did I until my husband was talking about it last night.

According to the GoTopless website, women should have the same constitutional right that men have to go bare-chested.

Sunday will be the day that protests are held to support GoTopless.

During the protests, women will have the choice of going fully topless or wear red tape or something else to hide their nipples. They are also completely welcome to come and support this cause while being fully dressed if they prefer.
To show their support, men are encouraged to wear a bikini top since we are standing up for topless constitutional equality. Either we can all be topless or no one can.

Guess what, people?

Asheville, NC is hosting a protest in Pack Square at 1pm. (you can find article here)

Be there and be bare! (Well, that is what I would have put on the invites.)

So, this got me thinking.

I wonder how many people are for or against this movement?

What about you?

Would you rally that it should be socially acceptable for women to go topless?

I'm down with women's rights.

I get it.

This... I don't get.

My argument being, women and men have very different anatomy.

It is hard to fight that we are the same and our anatomy should be seen as such when in reality... we are very different.

So, tell me what you think.

No judgement!

I am just curious!



I cannot shower or use the bathroom alone.

Just call me a glutton for punishment.

I should just go to the bathroom and lock the door so they can't get it.

However, they will stand outside of the door and scream so I find having them in the bathroom with me less stressful.

Yesterday, after showering (with both of the girls standing under the shower curtain... only putting the clear shower curtain liner between us) I stepped out of the shower.

As I was drying off and secretly praying for them to exit the bathroom, Caroline says OH MY GOSH MOM!

"Um, what?"

"You need to get a new balloon in your boob!"

Silence as she reaches for my boob and pushes it up and lets it fall again.

"See, Mom? They are so saggy."

Great! Now even my kids want me to get a boob job.

I'm down.

Who's paying?

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Bucket List.

In my second year of college, I had an English professor who made us write in journals.

We were able to write whatever we wanted... quotes we loved, lyrics we loved, letters, whatever.

I hated it.

I hated every minute of writing in that blue journal everyday.

When someone tells me to write, I don't.

When someone tells me to read, I don't.

Anyway, aside from the crappy journal this professor was pretty awesome. I don't remember his name but he look a little like Einstein and smelled of Icy Hot and mothballs.

Not a good combo... just for the record.

He did something in his class that still amazes me.

Each student had to write a list of 30 things he/she hoped to accomplish before they turned 30.

A bucket list of sorts.

We gave it to him and in return, he would send it back to us in ten years.

He even promised if he died, it was in his will that the letters be sent to us.

So here I am, 3 years away from that letter showing up at my parents house. 4 years away from 30.

I can't remember what was on that list or what I hoped to accomplish 6 years ago.

I know for sure though that my life is pretty great.

I was daydreaming the other day, when I started thinking about my bucket list.

Want to know a few things on my bucket list?

- Dye my hair blonde.

- See La Evolucion Silenciosa, La Jardinera de la Esperanza, Coleccionista de los SueƱos, and Hombre en Llamas all by Jason deCaires Taylor

- Be published.

- Try escargot.

- Mow the grass (no... I have never done this).

Those are just a few things.

What about you?

What is on YOUR bucket list?

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Bug and Paula BFF

Right after school let out for summer, Emma started talking about her friend Paula.

"Paula is coming to my house for a play date."

"Paula has a new baby."

"Paula is my friend."

"Mom, can Paula come play today?"

Who is Paula?

Where is she from?

I have never heard of this friend, Paula.

I did want most normal parents do... I sent her teacher, Mrs. Angie, a message on Facebook.

Mrs. Angie didn't know a Paula but knew a Sarah. Sarah was the new girl in the class and her mom just had a baby.

"Bug, who is Paula?"

"My friend."

"Does Paula go to your school?"


"Do you mean Sarah, Bug? Is her name Sarah?"

"No! Her name's Paula!!"


"She has a pink bathing suit!"

I didn't think much of this Paula character until one day I overheard Bug yelling at Caroline to MOVE OVER because Paula was sitting there.

Again, like any normal parent I began thinking crazy crap like my child could possibly be friends with a ghost that lives in our house.

OMG! My Bug has a sixth sense!

OMG! She sees dead people!!!

After googling children with a sixth sense, I calmed myself down after discovering that the research was silly and I was just being a nutjob.

I decided it was time to question Bug again.

"So Bug, is Paula here today?"


"What does Paula look like?"

"I know. You told me. That is so cool! What else does she look like?"

"She has brown hair."

"Like me! Neat!"

"She has brown skin too!"


"She has a new baby."

"I know! You told me! Do you know the baby's name?"


"Like our puppy? That is cool!"

"Yep. Like my puppy. Paula has a pink bathing suit!"

I decided that would be the end of the conversation.

Some days I still hear her talking to Paula.

Some days Bug will let us know that Paula is coming over to play.

Some days we don't hear from Paula at all.

And some days I still find myself googling children with a sixth sense.

I'm thinking about having the house blessed... just in case.

(I think I watch too much TV.)

Monday, August 15, 2011

Freaking Yo Gabba Gabba... whatever that means

My closest friends know my hatred for Yo Gabba Gabba!

1. What do the words yo gabba gabba even mean?

2. Where did the names Muno, Foofa, Brobee, Toodee and Plex come from? Last time I checked, I am trying to get my child to speak English correctly not make up their own words. Idiots.

3. According to Wikipedia, "the show was developed by two Southern California fathers with no previous experience writing for television let alone children’s broadcasting. They simply shared a mutual disappointment in kids’ television. They both wanted to design a kids' show that was both educational and entertaining while featuring real artists and real performers."

"No previous experience writing for television let alone children's broadcasting". Do you think?? I would have NEVER guessed!!

"They simply shared a mutual disappointment in kids' television"? Huh? Like this show isn't a major disappointment.

4. Obviously this show was written by two men. How did I know this before lightly researching? All of the characters resemble nasty things. Think about it.


5. These writers, characters, and guests are most of the time high as kites. What verified this was the fact that each character has a "realm". Then to further verify the high characters, Jack Black was a guest. Are you kidding me?

6. Lastly and most important, the stupid show teaches my children crazy habits. For example, watch this "cool trick"...

I saw this and immediately hid the recorder. I could picture it... Caroline playing the recorder with her nose and then Emma putting it in her mouth. Gross.

This show is ridiculous.

Just ridiculous.

Over it.

We will stick with reruns of Swamp People.


Before I had children, I was a billy bad ass.

“I am NEVER having children.”

“If I do have kids, they will NEVER watch Barney.”

For the record, that purple dinosaur is still a nutjob in my book.

“My kids will NEVER wear frou frou shit.”

That one has never happened. About as frou frou as I get is Easter and Christmas. I might throw a smocked dress on them if they were under the age of 3.

This was the biggie…

“My children will NEVER, I mean EVER, wear a big bow.”

I’ve eaten my words.

I have a child that loves the frou frou.

If it were up to her, she would wear a dress everyday.

To top it off, she loves wearing her ONE smocked dress.

She completes the outfit with glitter mary janes OR beaded and rhinestone embellished Lelli Kelly shoes.

As if this wasn’t bad enough, she loves a bow.

The bigger the better.

I throw up in my mouth a little each times to grabs for one.

As a parent, you learn to let go of the small things.

I just let her do it.

And you know what?

It makes her super happy to have a big bow.

I have to remind myself that it could be worse.

She could look like this…

However, her bows look like this…

It is sweet.

It makes her happy.

All she wants for her birthday is bows.

Let it go, I tell myself all too often.

So, rock that hair bow girl! Rock it like it's nobody’s business.

I will smile and be proud (even if I do have a little throw up in my mouth).

Sunday, August 14, 2011


June 14th was the last post I published.

Two months.


I can't believe summer is almost over.

Where has the time gone?

We have had a fabulous, sunny, hot, beach filled, family loving, friend playing summer.

I don't want it to end.

This was the first "easy" summer I have had as a parent.

Both girls love the beach.

Both girls love the pool.

Both girls entertain each other (for the most part).

Emma has a few more weeks before school starts.

Caroline starts school next week.




Is she ready?


Am I ready?


Let's just pray she doesn't say any cuss words or show off her new talent of rolling her eyes.

Here's to an amazing school year AND many stories I am sure...

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Our Monday in pictures and video

I like this day in pictures thing. It's easy and fills those blogs where I have writer's block.

My morning began with a wonderful surprise. I went to the mailbox and found this awesome Firefly t-shirt that I won during a facebook contest...

I was super excited about this shirt because the others that we have (that were purchased with the actual Firefly) are mens shirts and don't fit me.

Emma let Zoey in...

Emma asked me to put her "skiddies" on. I guess that is what she calls tennis shoes. I had never heard that word before. "Skiddies". Cute!

The girls had lunch...

Emma let the dog in...

We went to the pool and Caroline FINALLY decided to swim like I've been teaching her for two years. She wanted to make a video for the dot com.

I picked up Little J's for dinner. We came home, ate dinner, and I partook in drinking a wine that was bought for decorative purposes. Oops!

I cut my finger in the most terrible place ever. It is so sore. After googling the correct name for the place on my finger that was hurt, I found that it is called your eponychium. Such a fun name! Or if you are boring you can call it your cuticle.

Please excuse my fingernail. It is bitten and jagged. Gross.

After dinner and wine, it was bathtime and bedtime.

Then I watched Part 2 of the RHOC which was a train wreck and I LOVED every minute of it. I polished the evening off with a few spoonfuls of this...

Welcome to my boring life.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Monday Happiness, Randoms and Link Love

- The new OPI Shatter polish makes me super happy. The bottom coat is Keys to my Karma and then a top coat of black shatter. Love it! Anna (my sister) used a pink as her bottom coat and the silver shatter on top. Hers is super summery and very pretty.

- Two new wines that are AH-MAZING make me super happy. This weekend I discovered Country Squire Apple Orchard Riesling which is a Granny Smith Apple wine that is soooo yum-o! The other is Country Squire Knicker Dropper which is a Pomegranate wine that almost tastes like candy. So good!

- We had a date night Friday night. Date nights always make me happy especially when we eat at one of my favorites... The Flying Shamrock.

- The rain last night was wonderful and the cloudiness today has been great too! We are loving every minute of summer but we definitely needed a break from the sun.

- I am caught up with the laundry AND I'm about to clean the bathrooms. How does my house stay more together when the kids are at home all day, everyday? I'm better at picking up and cleaning when the kids aren't in preschool! So strange?!

- The Bachelorette comes on tonight. No matter how much I hate it, I can't stop watching.

- I posted a new recipe on the food blog.

- The RHOC Reunion Part One made me so happy last night. I love those bitches. They are so snide and cunning it is ridiculous and I LOVE IT! Tonight... Part Two!

- Must take pictures is on the top of my To Do's.

- Kitchen Queens is Wednesday night and I can't wait!

- Do you have any link love you would like to spread? Leave it in the comments.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

I am trying to save the planet...

While others are opting for the eco friendly fuel efficient vehicles, my husband decided to trade his truck for this...

Obviously not eco friendly and obviously not fuel efficient.

So much for the Lafone family saving the planet and reducing our carbon footprint. We now have the footprint of a GIANT!

"But it's a diesel, it has better gas mileage."


(PS- Yes, that is my Jeep ride that I use for storage purposes.)

Friday, June 10, 2011

Morning from hell

I'm in my room with the door shut.

It is 9:30 am. (Obviously I finished this post later in the day.)

I already need a little alone time.

So far this morning...

- The dog escaped sometime while I slept.

- Found the dog waiting outside of the fence to be let back in.

- She had eaten the trash and thrown it all over the yard... the trash that my husband was suppose to carry off two days ago.

- I cleaned all of that up.

- Made my coffee.

- Emma woke and demanded juice and Nick Jr.

- I sip my coffee.

- Water plants.

- Burn cinnamon rolls.

- Sip coffee.

- Before, I could even put icing on the yummy burntness, Emma spilled a WHOLE coffee cup of hot chocolate all over my kitchen table AND beautiful chair cushions.

- I uttered an ugly word under my breath.

- Clean said table and chairs.

- Ice the cinnamon rolls.

- Kids eat breakfast.

- The dog gets out again.

- I'm suppose to be at the splash pad at 10:30. The clock reads 10:26. So much for being on time.

- The girls SCREAM when I spray them with sunscreen.

- The dog tries to eat the sunscreen as I spray it.

- I was walking out of the door and my husband tells me we might go camping for July 4th. "I've never been camping. Not even in the backyard. So, if you want to go with me and two children on our first camping trip, have at it. I suggest we leave the children. I'm just saying, I might be hard to deal with alone without two screaming children." At least I was honest about it.

- Out the door and on my way at 10:40.

And I didn't even finish my coffee. Ugh!

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Life Lesson Number 2

Growing up, my parents weren't terribly strict.

I could watch what I wanted on TV.

I could drink Pepsi.

I could eat candy.

I knew right from wrong.

I was never a rebel... unless you call drinking a little Arbor Mist behind closed doors with all of my friends every now and again rebellious.

I was your typical 16 year old.

Your typical 16 year old that LONGED for a belly button ring.

It was a little trashy and a little cool and I HAD to HAVE ONE.

"I will not pay a dime of it!" my dad said.

"I will not sign for you. You have to wait until your 16th birthday," Mom said.

"Don't do it."

"If your Daddy George finds out... he is going to get you."

Obviously, they didn't want me to do it.

Fast forward a week after my 16th birthday.

I had saved my hard earned hosting money and I was ready.

A friend went with me to hold my hand.

I walked into the tattoo parlor looking like a fish out of water. I was dressed to the nines with heels on because I was on my way to work.

I looked at the tattooed lady in front of me and gulped so hard I thought I had swallowed my throat.

Maybe I should run... I thought to myself.

No, I HAD to HAVE it done. It was almost as if I HAD to do it to show my parents HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I DID IT! What a stupid little 16 year old I was.

The whole time I was laying there, I remember thinking of the Saved by the Bell: The College Years when Alex wanted a tattoo but didn't get it because the guy's name was Rusty. Rusty... needle... hahahaha!

Anyway, my guy's name was not Rusty.

I laid down, closed my eyes and he counted.

He was done before I knew it... literally.

I sat up and saw the big ass needle still in my belly button.

Talk about vomit. That was disgusting.

I walked out of that tattoo hole and new woman though.

I was a new woman with a belly button ring.

I was a new woman with a CROOKED belly button ring.

F word.

I probably said the actual word when I noticed it.

F F F F F!

I remember my Dad just laughing and shaking his head. I'm sure he was thinking, "Yep, I told you not to get the damn thing."

Anyway, with the right belly button ring no one ever even noticed the crookedness.

However, I did have to hide the damn crooked thing from my Daddy George for YEARS. That was no small feat.

Anyway, fast forward 10 years and two babies later.

Caroline: "Mom, what it that?" as she points to my belly button.

Me: "Oh! Well, that is where Mom had a belly button ring."

Caroline: Stares for a few seconds.... "GROSS! What's wrong with it?"

Me: "Ummm... you did that to me and so did Emma. You stretched my belly button and it made the hole look ummmm... funny."
We had a long discussion about what a belly button ring was, looked like, etc.

Caroline: "Can I get my belly button pierced?"

Me: "Sure! When you are old enough, you go for it girl!"

Caroline: "Ummm... Mom... I don't want to. I'm not a fan."

Life Lesson #2: Maybe your children really do learn from your mistakes.

Here's to hoping anyway...


I was going to post a picture of the belly button. However, it looked like a pornographic image so I will not post it. Ask me about it in person... I'll show it to you.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Watch out world.

I can't drive.

This is no secret.

I mainly use my Jeep for storage. Again, no secret there.

I say all of the time, "If I had a million dollars, I would hire someone to personally drive me everywhere I want to go (and someone to scratch my back whenever I want)." The latter having no significance to the story.

With all that said, I would also like to add that I am given the finger at least 4 times a week.

At first it really bothered me.

I would get all upset. I played the role of apologetic crappy woman driver... OMG, I should have slowed down so they knew I was going to stop at that stop sign... OMG, I feel terrible. I probably scared them to death.

Not anymore.

Now, they get the same treatment.

For example the other day, I honestly didn't do anything wrong.

I was at a busy intersection. It was my turn to go. I looked a few times and went. As I am back up to my normal speed a car that is coming towards me in the opposite lane lays on their horn and gives me the finger.

I didn't even pull out in front of the car. I have no idea why he honked.

I had time to react. I laid on my horn and gave him the finger and pretended to yell cuss words at him.

Totally threw him for a loop.

Lesson in life #46: Even if it is your fault, always blame the other driver. They will be so confused that they will forget what even happened.

So for now, no more crappy driver nice girl.

As if it could get any worse, right? I am now the crappy-driving-bitchy-girl-that-is-freely-throwing-the-bird-driving-a-car-that-looks-like-it-belongs-to-a-hoarder.

Watch out world.

Monday, June 6, 2011

My Day in Pictures. Don't get too excited...

Ashley did it and I thought it was cute so I will do it to.

Without further ado... our Sunday in cell phone pictures...

My morning iced coffee. Thank God for caffeine or I may not survive. Seriously.

I water my crepe myrtle, petunias and begonia every morning. I am also watered and cared for our Topsy Turvy. It is even growing tomatoes... much to everyones surprise ;-)

We of course had Sunday lunch at Nana's. It was amazing as always.

Yes, we ate all of that! I forgot to take a picture of the before. This was what was left over after all 17 of us ate. Can you imagine how much food Nana actually cooks for one meal? We had grilled pork tenderloin, panko chicken, butter beans, fresh corn, field peas, loaded potatoes, cucumber, tomatoes, macaroni and mayo, rice, gravy, squash, cabbage, deviled eggs, slaw, cornbread and rolls.

After lunch, we celebrated my Mom's birthday with Nana's pound cake, strawberries, and real whipped cream. Yum!

After lunch and birthday celebrations, the girls went to Mom and Dad's house for a few hours. They have the cool pool with the slide...

I came home and laid in the sun for about 30 minutes. I know you are thinking, the sun nazi in the sun?! Yes, I laid in the sun and yes, my body was fully covered in sunscreen and my face covered in zinc oxide. Anyway, I read my book and relaxed it was just too hot for me.

I went to pick the girls up and let Zoey play in the country some. (I forgot to take a picture of her though).

We came home and talked about dinner. Of course no one was really hungry, so the girls had egg salad sandwiches and I had a PB&J. Ryan chose to skip dinner all together. He was sooo full!

Mom had already given the girls a bath (thank you, Mom!) so after visiting with my inlaws and eating supper it was bedtime.

I lay with Emma every night and last night she wanted us to lay in my bed. I read my book until she fell asleep.

That's when I broke out my secret stash.

We forgot to give my Mom a bag of Harry London Buckeyes. Whoops! I let myself have two and savored every itty bitty bite. If you have never had Harry London candy, you are missing out. O to the MG! So good! Not as good as German Milka... but close.

This is how I found Zoey when I looked out to check on her...

Girlfriend was tired. By the way, she was 12 weeks old last weekend. We took her to the vet and she weighs 24 pounds and no she isn't overweight. According to the vet, "she is just going to be a really big lab." Fabulous!

Then I settled in and watched the season finale of RHOC. It was a train wreck and I loved every minute of it.

I read a little more after that and then I was off to bed.

Hope y'all enjoyed my boring day. This is pretty much my life. Nothing special but oh so entertaining.