Naptime sucks.

Trying to get Caroline down for a nap is a nightmare.

A.Freaking.Nightmare.

I would rather pull my hair out, have a root canal, eat raw chicken, or cut my arm off.

It is that terrible.

She kicks.

She screams.

She pulls my hair.

She hits.

She eventually gives up.

She gives in to sleep.

She's pissed about it though. She can't even rest well because she is so pissed that she is asleep.

BUT, thank goodness (for me) she is asleep. Peace at last.

Yesterday (in the middle of her screaming spell while trying to go down for a nap) she all of a sudden stopped screaming.

I thought it was a miracle. I started thanking God.

"Thank you God for being on my side today. It..."

She looked at me with a very serious face and eyes. She said, "Mannnnnnnnn! My cell phone ringing."

"Ok back up homegirl. You are two. You don't have a cell phone so... you don't hear one ringing."

"Uh-huh! Me do have cell phone. Hear it? Shh! Hear it?"

"No. I don't hear it. Lay down!"

"It's ringing! Me need to talk!" She screamed this. Do this one in your best two year old screaming voice.

Well, let's just say she went all Linda Blair/Exorcist on me.

The next 15 minutes were so much fun that afterwards I decided to rip my eyeballs out.

Wordless Wednesday- I hope he didn't have the flu.

According to the CDC:

"Swine influenza viruses are not transmitted by food. You can not get swine influenza from eating pork or pork products. Eating properly handled and cooked pork and pork products is safe. Cooking pork to an internal temperature of 160°F kills the swine flu virus as it does other bacteria and viruses."

THANK GOD... because Wednesday is BBQ day in this little Southern town.

Grosgrain: Art Nest Pincushion Ring GIVEAWAY!!!!

Grosgrain: Art Nest Pincushion Ring GIVEAWAY!!!!: "Susannah Rodgers makes these original pincushion rings using her favorite fabrics, lush colored wool felt and nickel free, silver plated adjustable rings for a very affordable price! After using hers for nearly four months she doesn't think she can ever go back to storing her pins in a red tomato."

Grosgrain: Picnic Frock GIVEAWAY!!!!

I'm in the mood to win something and I hope it is this dress!
Grosgrain: Picnic Frock

Grosgrain: Simple Skirts GIVEAWAY!!!!

How cute are these skirts? I want one in every color!


Grosgrain: Simple Skirts GIVEAWAY!!!!

He did it.

My husband did it.

I wonder what he looked like while searching.

I wonder if he was trying to hide.

I wonder if he had any shame at all.

I wonder what was going through his mind.

I wonder if he broke out in a terrible sweat and had a hot flash.

He did it.

He lived.

I am proud.

Another upside... he bought the variety box. Lights, regulars, and supers.

You go, you tampon buying husband, you!

You made your wife proud.

That cute little face...

Cupcake Giveaway

Go over to I Never Grew Up and check out Vanessa's fabulous giveaway!


She has teamed up with Cupcake Chic and is giving away a dozen cupcakes!

Don't they look delish?

All you have to do is go to I Never Grew Up and leave a comment! (All that is required to enter is your name and an e-mail address!)

Go ahead... GO!


You know you want to!!

If you win, you must share one with me!

Why?

I am picky. Scratch that. I am VERY picky about what my children wear. NO ribbons. NO bows. NO lace. NO terrible patterns. NO frou frou. Ugh.

Caroline only owns 2 smocked dresses and one monogrammed dress. She has only ever worn each of them once.

Like I said, I'm picky.

If you think that I am picky about clothes and dresses, you should see me picking out bathing suits. Dear God.

I never buy one pieces or tankinis. Caroline has always worn way too cute triangle tops and regular bathing suit bottoms.

Imagine my horror when my child picked this out, INSISTED that someone buy it and then INSISTED on wearing it:


Disney princess one-piece complete with a Dora and Boots hat with a glitter bill.

My bet is that you will not be seeing Shiloh or Suri in this outfit anytime soon.


Sweet wedgie, Caroline. It adds so much to the whole outfit.

We have a stripper on our hands.

Me: "Caroline, what do you want to wear to school today?"

Caroline: "I don't know."

Sips on her orange juice.

Caroline: "Me want to go naked."

And we wonder what she is going to be when she grows up. As of now, all signs are pointing to stripper/nudist. Fabulous.

Wordlessful Wednesday

Bath time. If only you were there to see me trying to actually wet her hair and get the shampoo in her hair. Washing Caroline's hair is... well... hell (for lack of a better word). Complete hell.





First trip to the beach.




My little hippie. We love the hippie braid. She just looks away every time.




Bug went to the doctor today for her last Synagis shot. She weighed 14 pounds 8 ounces! Yayyyy, Em!

Wordless Wednesday- Jealous...

... that my sister can wash her hair, wear it like this, take it down, and it looks beautiful.



I forgot to take an after picture. This picture just looked cool. Looks like noodles.

And then there were four.

I began as one.

One high school cheerleader with big hair and braces.

I met you.

We became two.

Two people that had ups and downs.

Two kids learning how to love and be loved.

After being two for a while, we got married.

Marriage was a change.

A BIG change.

We were together for 5 years but marriage... marriage was different.

We learned that there is no easy out in marriage.

There are no fights where you leave when its over.

There are no fights that end in me not seeing or talking to you for days.

We had to grow up.

We had to work at it. We still have to work at it.

Marriage was hard. Marriage is hard.

We enjoyed it.

We enjoyed being on our own.

Then came Caroline.

We became three.

She became the apple of our eyes.

She became our whole world.

What did we do before marriage and Caroline?

We couldn't even remember what life was like before it all.

We made it through Caroline's first two weeks.

How we made it is still a question I often ask myself. (Remember the night that I lost my nipple shield? Ha! You were freaking out more than me!)

We made it though. We lived through those first few weeks AND kept another little human alive too. Yayyy us!

We watched Caroline roll, sit, crawl, walk, talk.

We were proud. Proud parents. We were a proud family of three.

We continued to have ups... and downs.

Shortly after Caroline's 2nd birthday, we became four.

Boy, was that a trying time.

Emma was 8 weeks early. She was in the hospital for a whole month. I was a nut that wanted to lose my mind. You were lost and confused.

Emma came home and things got a little better.

We lived. We made it. We got through it.

We've watched Em grow from 2 lbs. 15 ounces to over 14 pounds.

Now, we have two beautiful girls that love us more than anything. We love them more than they will ever know.

Today marks our 3 year anniversary. 3 years of chaos. 3 years of happiness. 3 years of us.

From one to four.

We are a family and I love it!

Happy anniversary!

Here's to many more (and to me... maybe one day I will finally get use to you brushing your teeth).

"Can you play me a memory
I'm not really sure how it goes
But it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete.."

At least she knows how.

Caroline.

Sweet Caroline.

I waited for the day that I could count. Meaning... I waited for the day that I could look at my child and begin that count to three. You know the one. Your mama would start counting and by "2" you had straightened up.

My day came.

"Caroline. I am going to count to 3 and you better come to me!" She was trying to run away from me when we were outside.

It worked.

It worked about 5 times.

My days of counting came. My days of counting went.

Now, I look at her and say, "ONE!"

She says, "TWOOOOOOO! FREE!"

Damnit.

Oh well... at least she knows how to count.

Fabulous Friday Finds

We are at the beach so I haven't had time to compile a list of fabulous things. However, I want to share with you just one fabulous find.

We went to TJ Maxx down here and look what I found?


A $150 Pro-Select straightener for only $30! I was more than excited. I have been using a cheap straightener for years. Check your local TJ Maxx for more great deals.

Tea parties.

"Hey look! The Tea Party!"

Aunt LAYS ON THE HORN!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

There was a miniature party inside the white Expedition EL.

After passing the tea party...

Nana: "That was fun!"

Lesley: "WOOO WOOO WOOO" (add arm movements with that)

Nana: "Karen (my mom) wouldn't roll down the window to let me scream."

Karen (my mom): "I was too busy giving the peace sign."

Lesley: "WOOO WOOO WOOO!" (add arm movements with that)

Nana: "I wanted to yell."

(All of this is going on at the same time)

Hailey: "Nana, did you want to flash them? I bet you wanted to be a tree hugging, bra burning hippie didn't you? Didn't you, Nana?!"

Karen: "She and a friend burned their bras in the backyard one day... while Grandaddy was sleeping."

There was a ROAR of laughter.

My Nana is the most conservative lady you will ever meet. Knowing that she secretly burned her bra is hilarious!

Wants vs. Needs.

Caroline: "Oh man, Mommy! Me need that!" Upon seeing the swing set they built across the street.

Caroline: "Me NEED THAT!" she said when she saw a great pair of shoes I was eyeing on the internet.

Caroline: "Me need a dog, Mommy." Dear Jesus. Because that is EXACTLY what I need to add to the chaos in my life.

Caroline: "DADDY! ME NEED A DOG!!"

We clearly need to have a discussion on wants versus needs. Would you say it is too early for that discussion? Ha!

However, while we are at it...

I need a pair of Louboutins.

I need 53.4 million dollars.

I need stick straight hair.

I need smaller hips.

I need a maid.

There are many more needs but I'm sure you get the picture.

A day at the farm.

The sign read: Gideon Mini-Horse Might BITE!!

Keep in mind that bite was underlined twice.

All went well with Gideon.

No one was attacked by the biting mini-horse... thank goodness.

However, when we got home I downloaded pictures from our camera.

Ryan (with his amazing photography skills) was photographer for the day.

As I browsed through the pictures, I came across a series of pictures. There are three pictures of Caroline and Nicole (our niece) with the biting mini-horse.

If I hadn't been there and known that Gideon actually did not attack my child... the pictures would make one believe that it was possible.

Here is the proof.


Gideon- Eyeing the subject of attack.



Gideon- Sniffing Caroline right arm.



Gideon- Attacking from the back. Caroline is slowly climbing up her cousin's back.

I have decided that I want a biting mini-horse.

How fun would that be?

We're waiting for the day that she says it to the preacher.

Caroline: "Oh, shit."

Ryan: "What is it, Big?" Ry calls her "Big" or "The Big".

Caroline: "Me left my sunglasses."

Hailey: "No you didn't, Caroline. They are on your face!"

Fabulous Friday Finds

My first two finds are my family. I thought I would give my aunt and my sister-in-law a shout out. They don't know I am doing it so I hope they don't mind! Ha!

1. The Cookie Boutique

This is the shop that my aunt, Janell, opened. She makes cookie bouquets, cookie favors, apples, pretzels, and even has Animaland and Mini-Melts.

If you are in the area, stop buy for some cookies and ice cream. Be sure to tell her that Hailey sent you!

PS- The cookies are delicious!!






2. Cole Baby Tutus

My sister-in-law, Ashlyn, makes these adorable tutus! She has tons of color options and accessories to pick from to make the tutu you have been wanting for your little one.

Here is my favorite picture of Caroline in a Cole Baby tutu.


Here is the tutu in color. It was so pretty. I used the black and white picture with Caroline first birthday invitations.


Be sure to go to check out Cole Baby Tutus!

3. Ballmania Lip Balm

I am addicted to lip balm/lip gloss/ chapstick/etc. When I saw this, I was immediately excited.


How cute are they? Go to the website to see all the different designs.

4. Juice Box Buddies

This is the best $2.00 that I've spent in a long time. Caroline was ALWAYS holding her juice box too tight. I was at the grocery store a few months ago and saw this jewel. We've had few spills since. LOVE IT!


5. Melissa and Doug Birthday Party

Ryan's parents got this for Caroline for her second birthday. She will spend hours playing with this. It is one of my her favorite toys.


6. Polo shoes

You all know my love for shoes. When I saw these, I immediately wanted them for Em. They also have the same pair (but bigger of course) for Caroline. So cute!


7. Her First High Heels by Heelarious

Again, you know my love for shoes. The name is cute. The idea is cute. The shoes... um... not so cute but I still love them!



8. Me In Mind Black And Pink Skull Shoes

I bought these shoes for Caroline's first Christmas. I ordered a green heart and crossbones onesies to go with it. They were absolutely adorable together! Skulls are not my favorite but all the celebs kids wear them so we jumped on that boat with them. Ha!


9. Madame Alexander Fancy Nancy Doll Set and Big Fancy Nancy

This is another of Caroline's favorite toys. I love it because the box serves as a stage or just storage. Again, she will play with Nancy for a long time. Gotta love that!


This is a big Madame Alexander. She is so pretty. When I saw her, I had to buy her. (Well, really... my Mom bought her and gave her to Caroline for her birthday last year.) Caroline doesn't play with her much. Nancy mostly sits on Caroline's made up bed.


10. BuckleyBoo

This is one of the new "must have" toys.

It serves 3 purposes.

Stage 1: Matching- Children first learn to visually scan and match the brightly patterned ribbons- polka dot to polka dot, stripe to stripe.

Stage 2: Buckling

Stage 3: Unbuckling

Very neat!

Coupons!

You have been Bzzed!

I am a Bzz agent and I was sent this product to spread the word about!

I have a gift for 8 of you.

Do your children have allergies?

Is your child 2 years old or older?

Claritin has come out with Children's Claritin.

Here are the facts:

- Provides powerful non-drowsy relief for your child's worst allergy symptoms
- #1 Pediatrician recommended non-drowsy brand
- Safe and effective for kids 2 and up
- Only over-the-counter that provides powerful all-day relief for a child's worst indoor and outdoor allergy symptoms.
- Comes in a grape chewables that are safe and effective for kids 2 and up and a syrup for kids 2 and up.

Claritin wants me to spread the word. They were nice enough to send a sample for me to try. They also sent $3.00 coupons for me to give away. The first 8 people who want to try Children's Claritin and send me an e-mail (thelafones[at]gmamil[dot]com) with their name and mailing address will recieve the coupons.

XOXO,

My new name.

Dear Caroline,

I was up last night until 12:30 am.

Doing what you ask?

Making cupcakes for your Easter party that is today.

What is that? Are you saying WOW Mom! Thanks so much?

Yep. I thought so.

I knew you would be gracious.

All kidding aside, I actually kind of enjoyed it.

I even made my own buttercream icing.

No store bought icing for you, my dear.

This, my first born, marks another memory for me as a mother.

This was the first time I was able to make cupcakes for your class.

The first of many.

So... the cupcakes?

You want to see them?




You're welcome.

Love always,

Your Mom, Martha Freaking Stewart

Dear God, please help us.

Why- \ˈhwī, ˈwī\ adverb: for what cause, reason, or purpose

alternate meaning(s)- Caroline's new favorite response


Caroline, let's brush your teeth. WHY?

Caroline, it's time to go to school. WHY?

Caroline eat your dinner. WHY?

Caroline, do you want to read a book? WHY?

What does the duck say Caroline? WHY?

Let's get ready for bed Caroline. WHY?

By the end of the day I just want to scream, "STOP ASKING WHY!"

The bad part? I heard that this "WHY" thing doesn't get ant better for a while. It is here to stay for a while. Fabulous!

An overload of pictures.

Emma at my birthday party.... Sunday March 22nd.


This is Emma the day we brought her home. She was exactly one month old and weighed a little over 4 pounds. 4 pounds 2 ounces to be exact. This picture was taken on October 26, 2008. Look at how much she has grown!


This is Emma in the same seat... weighing 13 lbs. 8 oz. and 6 months old. Yayy Em!


We walked to the park and Caroline insisted on wearing her sunglasses.


She also insisted on making a "sand-angel".


Em got in the swing for the first time.


Caroline could swing all day. Here she is the "baby swing"


Sisters swinging together for the first time.


Caroline at the end of the slide.


Caroline modeled her pink dress before church.


Yes, she has on white shoes before Easter. Sue me. You will learn that I break all kinds of unwritten fashion rules. It was warm. It was sunny. She had no shoes. She wore her new white sandals. Ha!


Caroline laying in the grass... thinking.
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More pcitures are coming in later posts.