Monday, May 31, 2010

my goal this week is to blog everyday.

we are at the beach now.

i will post tonight when we get home.

lots of fun things in store this week.

happy memorial day!!

Friday, May 28, 2010

Friday Smile.

Tell me that these commercials don't make you want to dance...

You're welcome!
Happy Friday!

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Wednesday Randoms.

1. I'm so over this day. I was over it at 11:30 this morning.

2. Braided my kid's whole head tonight. Well, I technically didn't do it. My BFF did. She's awesome like that.

3. She is in her end of the year program tomorrow. To shock all the mamas, I think I might let her wear her hair like this. This will bring about all types of preschool mama drama. So fun!

4. I'm only kidding. Ryan just wanted her hair to be "crinkly" and I don't have a crimper. Therefore, we braided. Same effect.

5. Emma has become a pit bull. She attacks. Yesterday she took a chunk out of Caroline's back. What do you do? She wouldn't even know how to bite if Caroline hadn't done it to her first.

6. My husband informed me the other day that he was allergic to my Downy dryer sheets. Don't you wish you were married to someone with such allergies. Dramatic much?

7. I passed a forklift on the highway this morning. Welcome to the South.

8. Ever seen a donkey in the cow pasture? Do you know why there are asses amongst the cows? Obviously a donkey is a very protective animal. The donkey watches over the calves. Pretty sweet, huh? I thought so too.

9. My cellular device is ghetto. The battery is about to explode and I can't take it off of the charger or it will go dead. Ghetto fabulous.

10. Ryan found my two children like this...

melt my heart.

11. It is 10:34pm and my child is still awake. She just will not fall asleep. I'm about to jump out of my skin.

12. Carrie Underwood is definitely the most beautiful woman on the face of the Earth. A close second... Sienna Miller.

13. Caroline said she was going to marry her Daddy. "You can't marry your Daddy. He is married to me," I said. "You don't kiss. So, he can marry me and we will kiss." Great. Even my 3 year old sees how un-affectionate me are.

14. We took the girls to eat Mexican tonight. Does anyone else find it absolutely adorable to watch your small nuggets eating chips and salsa? OMG! Precious.

15. My house is screaming. Seriously.

16. Had a pedicure with my sister today. Pedicures are God's gift to the world. 30 minutes that I wouldn't trade for the world.

17. Mini Haagen Dazs complete with mini golden spoon makes my nights so much better.

18. Happy 20 months Bug! I can't believe you are almost two!

19. I hate Yo Gabba Gabba. It is just a ridiculous show. They have a segment called "Cool Tricks". Tonight Jackie showed off her skill of playing the recorder with her nose. WITH HER NOSE! Why do I let my children watch this rubbish? Crazy! Have you seen the Jack Black episodes? He looks high as a kite. Excellent television for my children. #1 Mom!

20. 10:47pm- Caroline still awake. About to go nuts.

21. Let's talk about last weeks Grey's Anatomy. It has been a week. I can talk about it now.
O to the MG! I was 3 minutes in and I was so scared that I forgot to breathe. Seriously. I was turning purple. I was on the edge of the couch and my insides were SCREAMING!
How about when Owen walked in the OR and there the shooter stands. Meredith and that dumbass-girl-that-doesn't-deserve-a-name have no clue he was even in there.
How about when Bailey was pulled out from under the bed. I totally knew it was coming because I had seen that in commercials... but gawd it freaked me out. PS- That scene did not show off Chandra Wilson's acting skills. She has a TERRIBLE cry face.
How about Lexi's hair? So cute. I wish I could french braid because I would totally wear my hair like that everyday.

22. OMG my child is still awake and whining. I am never going to get her to school on time tomorrow.

23. She finally went to sleep a little after twelve. I am exhausted. EXHAUSTED!

Monday, May 24, 2010

Meet Mallory.

What a cute little turkey nugget.

I had the privilege of taking pictures of this sweet 10 month old, Mallory.

Our goal? To score a picture for her 1st birthday invitation.

Mission accomplished. Here are just a few...

No pictures, please.

The day ended with a little duck poop snack. No biggie.

You can see all of Mallory's pictures HERE. She sure did love pointing her finger and making fish faces. Too cute!

Sunday, May 23, 2010

S words suck

"Mama, Mom, Mama, Mama... Mamaaaaaaa... MMMMMMMamaaa"

"Caroline, slow down. Think about what you want to say. Only say Mama ONE time. Let your brain think about the words."

"Mama. IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII wawaawant..."

"Caroline. Calm down. Think about it. Say it without stopping."

In the beginning, this was a major concern for me. It faded and now the concern is back.

Caroline was a late talker and has never used the correct words for things. For the first 6 months after FINALLY beginning to talk, she called a cookie a "goga". Eventually, a close family friend named Justin because "Goga". His wife, Jordan, is affectionately known as "Boobie". I swear it has nothing with the fact that she does, in fact, have fake tits.

Anyway, I have recently become concerned again. She just can't get the words that are in her brain to come out of her mouth the correct way. Most of the time it is a jumble of words or words are extremely drawn out. She also can't move past words. She will get stuck on "Mama" because what is about to come next is extremely important to her. She will sometimes get stuck on a sound versus a word. For example, "S"s are hard for her. Say "snake". Go ahead say it. For the S sound, we put teeth together for the S sound. Caroline puts her tongue between her teeth for the S sound. Now say "snake" and start with your tongue between your teeth. Go ahead. Do it. That is how all of her S words sound. So, she will get stuck on the S sound because she knows it doesn't sound right.

I've been calm about the situation. Handling it with patience. I stop her from talking. I tell her to think about the words. I tell her to slowly tell me what she is trying to say.

She has become aware of the situation. She is self-conscience and that upsets me. She will cup her hand in front of her mouth as if it is going to hide the fact that she is stuttering.

About a week ago, we were really working on her speech. She had a really bad day and being tired wasn't helping the situation. We have noticed that when she is tired is when it happens most. Anyway, all day long we worked on letting our brain think and then saying what was on our mind.

The next morning she woke up. She rolled over and said, "Mama, do I go to school today?" Before I could answer, she grabbed her mouth, and through a huge smile said, "MAMA! GOD FIXED IT!"

I talked to my pediatrician about it when we were there last year for her yearly well baby. He wasn't extremely concerned but told me to watch it. I've watched and it hasn't gotten better. Part of me really feels like it is getting worse.

Now, as a mother I am scared of what the future holds. Will she need speech therapy? If she does, is it best to do private therapy or have her pulled out of class (when she goes to Kindergarten)? Right now, I am not jumping to conclusions but I feel like if therapy is what is best for Caroline, I will opt for private sessions.

As a mother, you do not want your child to be labeled. Especially a label like "speech impediment". However, I want what is best for Caroline. For her sake, I need to talk to the doctor about her situation.

And I am scared shitless... said with my tongue between my teeth for giggles and to lighten the mood a little.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Cute little nuggets

Writing away. Started 3 posts. Haven't finished any.

Took pictures of these cute little nuggets the other day about 33.6 minutes before the bottom fell out.

Colin, 5

Braden, 2. He was not happy about this situation. He had been woken up from his nap and there was a this crazy girl with a big camera at his house. He wanted no part of it. :-)

Just wanted to share.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010


This is what I have been up to for the last few days.

I've had a lot of people asking about my pictures, contact info, etc. I decided to take the time to put everything in one place.

Anyway, I can check this off of my big list of things to do.

Do me a favor, will you? Check it out. Make sure there isn't anything I missed. Should I add anything else that I haven't already?

I will be back soon with "normal" blog material. And, yes, I use the word "normal" lightly.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Bilingual children are so overrated.

Caroline showed off her skills of being able to count to eleven in Spanish.







My kid knows Spanish better than your kid. IN.YO.FACE.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Carrie did it. I will too.

8 TV Shows I Like to Watch
1. Army Wives
2. The Hills
3. The Real Housewives of New York AND New Jersey
4. Desperate Housewives
5. Grey's Anatomy
6. The City
7. Brothers and Sisters
8. Friday Night Lights

8 Favorite Places to Eat and Drink {This list could go on forever}
1. The Flying Shamrock
2. The Ruddy Duck Tavern
3. Pizza Villa
4. McCurdy's
5. Amos Mosquito's
6. Murphy's Place
7. Southern Exposure
8. Pizza Hut... yes, I said Pizza Hut. I never get it because Ryan HATES it

8 Things I Look Forward To
1. My children's bedtime
2. Mornings with Bug when Caroline is at school
3. Afternoons with Caroline when Bug naps
4. Date nights
5. Beach weekends
6. Sister time
7. Really cold glass of wine
8. Hot baths... alone...

8 Things that Happened to me Yesterday
1. Picnic lunch with my girls
2. Found a baby bird that had fallen out of his nest
3. Crossword puzzles
4. Had dinner with friends that just moved back
5. Blew bubbles
6. Watched Caroline ride her bike that a crazy woman
7. Bath time
8. Bedtime

8 Things I am Passionate about...
1. My children
2. My husband
3. Writing
4. Photography
5. Throwing things away... even if they shouldn't be thrown away
6. Reading
7. Keeping our date nights. They keep me sane... seriously
8. Learning to not take life for granted... it has been a super hard task... I'm learning everyday

8 Words or Phrases I Use Often
1. "NO!"
2. "Really?" In my most bitchy sarcastic voice
3. "Stop!"
4. "My name is not Mama"
5. "Be serious"
6. "Nutjob"
7. "Nugget"
8. Sometimes ugly words

8 Things I Have Learned From the Past
1. Karma is a bitch
2. Never say never
3. The truth will set you free
4. Thing are not always what they seem
5. Do NOT close your eyes while driving. It will NOT make the tree in the middle of the road go away.
6. NEVER wash a permanent marker with your husband's clothes. He might actually consider leaving you. It would be super easy too since he would have nothing to pack.
7. Hide your money from your husband.
8. Never leave your 2 year old alone in her room with scissors. She will cut her hair.

8 Places I Would Like to Visit/See
1. Paris (big dress, dog, scones, cigarettes... I'm all in)
2. London
3. California- random, I know. Just think... Real Housewives of OC
4. Jamaica
5. Cozumel
6. Ireland
7. Greece
8. Cabo San Lucas

8 Things I Currently Want/Need...
1. Louboutin's
2. This David Yurman ring. I'm not a fan of all things David Yurman. I just need this ring.
3. A white Volvo V70
4. My dream house. I have the plans on my computer. I cannot share. Don't want you stealing it.
5. My children to be happy
6. To be able to sleep all night and wake up at lunch time
7. Pedicure
8. World peace

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

fevers suck

i had all intentions of blogging yesterday.

i was waiting for my little family to go to bed. i wanted to write in the peace and quiet.

emma woke up with a fever. not high but still a fever. ryan had some type of funk last week. i wonder if she has that.

anyway, i didn't sleep well.

i am exhausted.

i will try to catch up. i have a few posts to finish. hopefully i can get a least one done tonight.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Monday Randoms and pictures

1. Good thing I put my cordless phone in the refrigerator. I'm trying my best to mess up the last one out of three. I think you people just need to go ahead and reserve my room on 5th floor. A few requests please? Xanax and 1500 thread count sheets. I found some on amazon for $99.

2. I took this little nugget's pictures this weekend. She is precious.

3. I took this picture of my family...

4. This sweet, free spirited little lady made me the worlds sweetest card. She was so proud of it. I was too.

5. I dressed Buggy in her new dress for Mother's Day. She knew she was beautiful. It made me happy.

6. I watched my husband play golf.

7. My gmail is acting crazy. I was suppose to be getting tickets for Elmo live tomorrow night and I have no way of contacting the lady. Anyway, if you are in the Fayetteville area... Elmo Live starts tomorrow night and there are two shows Wednesday. Go! It is going to be fabulous!

8. You already know this if we are friends via facebook... We were in such a rush one morning. Brushing teeth before leaving for preschool is that last thing we do before rushing out the door. Caroline was standing on the toilet and I was brushing. "Hurry! Smile big so I can get the fronts! HURRY!" I scrubbed away... "Mama! Dammit! You got toof paste in my eye!" I couldn't help but laugh.

9. Special prayers to special people in my life that are going through tough times right now. Stay strong.

10. We had dinner at the Flying Shamrock Friday night. It was fabulous... as always.

11. Group date night this Friday night with a group of fabulous girls and their husbands. I can't wait!

12. My children move like dead lice on most days. What is up with that?

13. Caroline is 5 now... in case you didn't get the memo. She reminds us on a daily basis.

14. I am sick of drama. Does it ever go away?

15. Shaving your legs at night, makes you sleep better.

That is all for now. Be back tomorrow.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

I'm on a YouTube roll. . .


My husband has swagger. Nonono. Not like that. Well, I guess he kind of does. I guess everyone does.

Anyway, his armpits have Swagger and it smells delicious.

The other night I said, "Gawd, you armpits smell good."

His reply? "I know."

"What do you mean you know?"

"Everyone at work told me."

"Umm... babe... you work with all men."

"I know. They told me that though."

Anyway, this video gives a whole new meaning to swagger.

Swagger... armpits and minivans. I don't think that is a coincidence.

"I think I crapped my pants"

Tell me you didn't laugh... just a little.

A mother is...

Loukia is doing a fun giveaway on her blog. You write a post telling what it mean to be a mother. I immediately thought of this post I wrote back in February.

A mother is all these things and more...

I am a... doctor with amazing healing powers. I can heal all wounds with a simple kiss and an occasional Disney Princess Band-Aid.

I am a... lawyer with a high success rate in resolving disputes in a matter of seconds.

I am an... engineer. I can put together a Cozy Coupe and they clearly require an engineering degree to do so.

I am an... event planner with uncanny skills in arranging playdates and outings to keep my sanity.

I am a... mathematician who can equally divide pieces of candy to suit all recipients.

I am a... dental hygienist who has learned how to successfully clean the teeth of two children at the same time AND with minimal amount of swallowing.

I am a... pharmacist who asked a real pharmacist the exact formula for infant and toddler Tylenol dosages. Now there is no panicking when I have to give one of the children Tylenol.

I am a... nutritionist who can throw together a lunch of hot dogs and chips and convince myself that the chips are the veggie and that Hawaiian Punch serves as the fruit.

I am a... speech pathologist who is constantly reminding her three year old that frog is most definitely pronounced "frog" NOT "frawg".

I am a... janitor despite the many attempts of giving up the job. Toilets have to be cleaned.

I am an... architect who can make a sweet tower out of MegaBlocks. I have been known to throw towers up that are taller than Caroline. I have skills.

I am a... plumber who uses 3 tablespoons of dish soap, super hot water and a plunger to unclog toilets. {PS- It didn't work. Instead, I had bubbles coming over the top of the toilet. This was not one of my better moments as a plumber.}

I am a... teacher who teaches my children the meaning of life, love and happiness {hopefully}.

I am a... chauffeur that is terrible at the whole driving thing.

I am a... choreographer who can choreograph a bad ass routine to Britney, Black Eyed Peas, Pink, etc. I teach my children mad dance skills.

I am a... financial planner who can stretch 2 dollar bills to feed three people. I rock.

I am a... parole officer that can keep tabs on a three year old who is suppose to be sitting in time out while also caring for a wild-child wannabe.

I am a... detective that can use clues to figure out why my child is crying, who did it, why they did it, and see to it that they are reprimanded for it.

I am many things.

I am a wife.

I am a best friend.

I am Hailey.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Tick off Tuesday... on Tuesday (can you believe it?)

- Talk about ticking me off. Cleaning my bathroom and as soon as I get done, someone comes and tee-tees in the potty. Not funny. I just cleaned it. Can it stay clean for more than 3 minutes?

- Talk about ticking me off. Someone laying in the bed after I have straightened the sheets and made the bed. Drives me nuts.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Monday Randoms

1. Our beach date night turned into a date weekend. Thanks to my wonderful inlaws and my wonderful parents. You guys rock and we love you more than words can say.

2. I get drunk off of two glasses of wine. I sober up quickly though.

3. Bill Maher is a pathetic human being. You suck at life, you dumbass. You are the epitome of a mother f-er if I have ever known one. What.a.jerk. You will die and burn in hell. I hope you enjoy it. Jerkface.

4. Bill Maher followers, you suck too. To one follower, in particular, you are a jerkface too. When you said "he is an awesome guy other than the fact that he is a democrat" speaks volumes on just how much you "think" you know about politics. Idiot.

5. My husband says thyme like it is spelled. He does not say "time". I giggle every thyme. ;-)

6. I had a fantastic salad Saturday night. I am still thinking about it. A classic spinach salad with hot mustard dressing. Yum-O! I got it here. We went to dinner with a fabulous, fun group of friends {SHE was part of the group. So fun!}.

7. Friday night I found the most fabulous chicken salad on the island at The Monkey Bar in Atlantic Beach. I can't even describe how delicious it was.

8. To the new owners of Roma Pizza... I am extremely disappointed in your pizza. It isn't half as good as it once was. It made me feel yucky {hence the reason I only had a salad and stuffed potato for dinner Saturday night}. I will not eat pizza from there again.

9. We laid out on the beach Saturday afternoon. I almost froze to death but it was so enjoyable.

10. My children were spoiled rotten this weekend. Seriously. To top that, they are both still extremely exhausted.

11. I helped Emma down the slide today. When she got to the bottom, she looked at me with those huge eyes and said, "Sank Jew". Sweet thing. I could eat her.

12. Caroline says she is 5 and her name is Eliza this week.

13. I want a dog. A great dane preferably. We have no where to keep a dog and Ryan says we can't afford to feed a dog that big. So, I will give him a choice. A great dane or a teacup pig. Have you ever seen a teacup pig? Google it. You will thank me later.

14. Thanks to Jewel, I now what to learn to crochet and sew.

15. Meet my friend Kelly. She is awesome, beautiful and just started blogging. Be sure to follow her. She is the mommy of a precious angel, Austin.

16. Gawd, I wish was a real housewife of New Jersey... just for one day!

17. I'll post again soon.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

2nd Tick Off Tuesday. . . On Sunday

I went to the beach with my mom and the children for a few days at the beginning of last week.

On the way home, Ryan called and asked where we were. We were only about 20 minutes from home.

"Well, you have a letter here that you need to read."

"Excuse me? What are you talking about? What kind of letter?"

"Something about you not giving Emma all of her shots and they are going to call social services."

Here is the letter. I am retyping it word for word.

123 North Ghetto Street
Phone (555)YOU-SUCK
Stupid Town, NC

{The letter head info... I made up. The rest is real.}

Dear Parent or Guardian:

According to the North Caroline Law G. S. 130-A-152(a), every child in North Carolina is required to receive their childhood immunizations (baby shots). You, as a parent or guardian, are responsible for ensuring that your child receives his/her shots according to the state guidelines. As Immunization Nurse for the "BLANK" County Health Department, it is my responsibility to make sure all children of "BLANK" County have had their immunizations by 2 years of age, if possible.

In reviewing immunization records from the doctor's offices and our records here at the "BLANK" County Health Department, you child Emma Lafone still needs shots.

I have tried to reach you by phone without success. If follow-up is not done in a timely manner, a report will be made to Child Protective Services for possible medical neglect.

Please call me as soon as possible at (555)YOU-SUCK to arrange an appointment for your child, so that he or she can be up to date on immunizations. If this child does not live at this address, please call IMMEDIATELY, so I can search for this child elsewhere.


Ms. A, LPN

****Emma is behind on 1 set of shots according to the records we have. If he or she has had them in the last couple of weeks, please let me know. If not, please call so we can get him/her caught up as soon as possible.
Ms. A

And you thought you were mother of the year? Pshhh. I think I win. Suck it.

To make matters worse, the letter was hand delivered to my door. Fabulous. All of my neighbors saw.

I couldn't wait until I got home to read the letter and call. I got the number from Ryan without even reading the letter first.

I called and waited. They found who I was suppose to talk to. I immediately explained that to my knowledge, Emma was up to date on her shots. We have never missed a well baby visit. On top of that, we are in and out of the doctors office at other times between well baby visits. She could tell that I was upset.

She explained that the letter was harsh because people would not call her back. She explained that her records showed that when she called, she didn't get a voicemail. Well, she must have called the wrong phone because both my cellular device and my home phone have voicemail. She then explained that Emma was missing her last DTP.

Now, let me ask you something. If I have given my child the first three DTP shots, don't you think I am going to give her the last one? When I again explained that there must be some mistake because we have gotten all of our shots at every well baby visit, the lady says, "Well, maybe she had it done at her appointment in February and it just isn't showing up in our system yet." Then why are you sending me this letter then? She asked if Emma had an appointment for her 18 month visit. I explained yes. You see, Emma was a preemie. She was in the hospital until she was a month old. Therefore, she is one month behind. Meaning, she is 19 months old and is just now going to her 18 month well baby appointment this month.

To top that, click here to see the NC Immunization Schedule. Where does the the 4th DTP fall? At 15-18 months. What did I just tell you? We haven't even been to our 18 month well baby visit yet. We haven't even been given the chance to have the shot.

And really? Child Protective Services for possible medical neglect? I have done everything I, as a parent, am suppose to do.

I'm tired.

I'm done talking about it.

I am sickened by our government.

It makes my stomach hurt.

In conclusion, Emma is NOT behind on her shots. Thank you very much.