Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Girls Night Out.

1st RULE: What happens at GNO, stays at GNO.

2nd RULE: What happens at GNO, STAYS at GNO.

3rd RULE: If someone says "stop" or goes limp, be sure they have a DD. {Only kidding. We will be civil.}

4th RULE: No limit on the number of girls in attendance.

5th RULE: Loads of conversation at one time. {We are multi-takers, people}

6th RULE: Cute dresses, cute shoes.

7th RULE: GNOs will go on as long as they have to... or until they kick us out.

8th RULE: If this is your first night at GNO, you HAVE to have fun and please do not pass judgement on the rest of us.

Loosely based on the rules of Fight Club.
I puffy heart Brad Pitt.

Guess where I'll be tonight?

Tick off Tuesday on Wednesday

Dear lady at the beach,
Do you realize that your skin is the same color as the Bud Light bottle you are holding? Not.cute. It would be wise to spray sunscreen on your body instead of afro-sheen. I'm just sayin'. You should totally start working for UPS. You wouldn't even have to wear the uniforms... your skin would do the job. You are not healthy.

Concerned bystander who is applying sunscreen, with a hat on, sitting under an umbrella

PS- You have 2 sweet white marks under both butt cheeks. Tanning bed much?


I found a small spot on my leg. I don't think it is anything but I am going to the dermatologist this morning. Say a little prayer if you think about it.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Random Tuesday. . . with only one really gross picture

1. I want to take ballet. Seriously. Ballet. I want to be a ballerina. You laugh. Think about what great exercise it would be.

2. A few of you saw my facebook status asking what was on your summer playlist. To the rest of you, tell me. What is on your summer playlist?

3. I have called Caroline by her real name a lot lately. She still prefers Pam on occasion. I can't wait to see what name she comes up with this week.

4. Emma fell down the stairs a few days ago. I screamed. Thank God I keep clutter on my stairs because an empty box of diapers caught her. Next time you come over and wonder why there is an empty diaper box, clothes and shoes on the stairs... know that it is because it serves as a life saving device for my youngest child. I thought she was dead. She was just scared to death. No injuries.

5. Ashlyn just sent me a new tutu. I LOVE it! I can't wait to get some fabulous pictures. It is so beachy and beautiful.

6. Mom bought me a new phone, FINALLY! My sister and I now have matching Droids. Let me tell you, this phone is awesome. It does everything. I thought my blackberry was great. Well, going from a blackberry to a droid was like "going from a Pinto to an Escalade" (verizon salesman's exact words).

7. I publicly admitted today that I put Sun-In in my children's hair. No judgement please.

8. Caroline drank a whole bottle of Fruit2O last night. Is that normal? She drank it really fast.

9. What type of razor do you use? I use Ryan's because every razor I buy is terrible and doesn't get my legs as smooth as I like. Yes, it makes him angry. Therefore, I am asking for your help.

10. My blog was down for a little while a few days ago. Google said my account had been compromised. So, if you get a random e-mail from me do not open it. Sorry.

11. Girls night tomorrow! Yayy!

12. Fact that you probably don't know about me: I want a tattoo of a script L on my wrist. I just wish it didn't last forever. I'm sure I would be sick of it after a few days.

13. Caroline had dance camp last week. She loved it.

14. Have I ever told you that Caroline can flatulate on command? She can. Sometimes I wonder if she is really my child.

15. I have to plan Caroline's birthday party.

16. Our laptop cord died. Ryan went to buy one and the universal cord was like $110. What in the world? That is ridiculous.

17. In case you don't know my husband, let me tell you a little about him. When he gets something on his mind, he doesn't stop until he gets it. A few months ago we looked everywhere between here and Charlotte for a certain pair of Merrell shoes. Never found them. We found out later they didn't make the particular shoe he wanted. So, he gave up. Then he moved on to a kayak. Yes, a kayak. He has been wanting one. Long story short, he got one this past weekend. He was coming in from his second paddling expedition when he slipped and fell on an oyster shell. One urgent care trip, a big dose of lidocaine, lots of scrubbing of the wound, and 8 stitches later... he's all good.

Not the best quality picture. Taken with my phone.

18. I have a ton of pictures to upload and edited. I'll post again soon!

Monday, June 28, 2010


caroline with a do-rag.

too cute!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.3.7

Friday, June 25, 2010

Currently. . .

excited about some sort of date night with the hubs.

worried about planning Caroline's birthday party.

reading Breaking Dawn. I'm almost done and I hate to finish it.

loving my little family. I think it's pretty great.

hating how hot it is. This summer, so far, has been ridiculously hot.

wondering when I can go to sleep. Trying to get lots of chores done while everyone is sleeping.

craving chocolate. I constantly crave chocolate.

listening to my dishwasher, dryer, and American Honey (Lady Antebellum)

wanting to be at the beach.

enjoying a fun-filled summer.

needing to upload pictures, mop the kitchen floor, and clean out my car.

glad I have a dermatologist appointment Wednesday.

wishing I could sleep like normal people.

Thanks to Haley for this idea. I stole borrowed from her blog.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

The post where you all gasp at my honesty and think that I am a terrible mother

I have come to the realization in the past few months that the more I try, the worse my children are.

If I try to get them to nap, they always fight and we both end up in tears. On top of the tears, the nap never comes.

If I say "Mommy has to check e-mails. Can I have a minute?", it's like saying, "Please come ask me the same question 30 million times."

I cook eggs, they want cereal.

I fix a bowl of cereal, they want eggs.

Sometimes, as a mother, you can't win for losing.

Caroline has become extremely over the top lately. You have to look at her when she is speaking to you. It doesn't matter what you are doing. You must stop so that you can look at her. Nevermind having to drive the car, she insists that you look at her when she speaks.

Little does she know that I don't have to look at anyone when they speak. I can have 3 conversations going on around me and be a part of them all. You think I'm joking? I'm not. It is another one of my amazing abilities that motherhood has taught me.

There are days that I have break downs. Not for serious... just kind of. The other day I looked at Caroline during one of her why Q&A's and said, "Caroline, please! Leave me alone for just a minute so I can finish what I'm doing." No, I'm not proud of that. Yes, I feel terrible for saying it. I just can't believe that I sometimes ask my children to leave me alone. Please don't judge me. The reality is that sometimes I need Hailey time. I would be lying if I said I didn't. Hailey time consists of checking e-mail, sweeping the floor, making lunch (or one of the other 3 meals of the day), tee-teeing, showering. It's the small things that I want. I don't think that it too much to ask for. I forget to realize that 15 minutes is a long time for a almost 2 and almost 4 year old.

I was showering the other day. It had been a somewhat uneventful shower. I think there had only been one screaming incident. During this time, I realized that no matter where I go, or what I do, I will never have another peaceful shower. When someone is watching them for me, I'm still a mama and I'm wondering what they're doing and if they are ok. What is wrong with me? Is it just motherhood or am I some sort of psychotic nutjob? What I wouldn't give to shower without worrying about children.

And don't even get me started on using the bathroom. You mamas out there that haven't thought about it yet, there will come a day that you will have a curious 4 year old who wants to watch your every move. Be prepared to explain the tampon situation because it is a biggie. I told Caroline that it was my bandaid. That wasn't a lie, right? Anyway, just be prepared to share all of your business with the world.

To all of you "I chose to have my children close together" kind of parents, go ahead and reserve yourself a room at the local mental hospital because there is good chance that you will end you there. Sometimes your life will be so full of chaos that the sound a mental hospital would be better. At least it would be quiet in your super clean, white, padded room.

All jokes aside, Ryan commented that sometimes I write like my life is perfect. He says that sometimes it sounds like a fairytale... a lie... not real life. So, in response I will post this, the real world. Sometimes my children drive me crazy. Sometimes my husband drives me crazy. Sometimes I drive myself crazy. I make mistakes. I say ugly words. I yell. I have a short fuse most days. But, I try to be the best mother and wife I can be.

To that end, when it is all said and done, I couldn't be happier.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Meet my new daughter. . .

"Caroline, let's take that dress off and put your clothes back on."

"Mom, my name is not Caroline. My name... is... Pam."

I think I fell out and rolled in the floor.

She doesn't even know a Pam.

Bloggy world... meet Pam.

There is NEVER a dull moment with us. NEVER!

Friday, June 18, 2010

Update . . .

Mom is doing good.

She went into surgery at about 5 and was back in her room a little before 7pm.

She was very apprehensive about being put to sleep as she has never been put to sleep before.

She was hilariously funny when she got back to her room all doped up on meds.

She wasn't doped up enough though to forget her red lipstick. Ha! You should have seen her putting that on.

Anyway, Dad is staying with her through the night. She should be able to come home some time tomorrow.

Thank you for all of your prayers and well wishes.


Thursday, June 17, 2010

Say a little prayer.

My mom woke up last night not feeling well.

She went to the doctor this morning and after running tests, she has appendicitis.

She is waiting for a bed now and we will know soon when the surgery will be to have her appendix removed.

So, will you please say a quick prayer for her.

I'll keep you posted.



Wednesday, June 16, 2010

So different yet so much alike.

After spending a week at the beach watching both of my girls, I realized a few things.

Caroline marches to the beat of her own drum much like her mama. What can I say? We like to dance to our own song. We like to be different. I have always known this but it was evidently clear this past week.

Emma is a follower. I guess not so much in life but just her sister. She wants to march to the beat of her sister's drum and I just don't know that she is ready. Right now, she wants to do whatever Caroline does. Caroline wants a belly tattoo, Emma wants a belly tattoo. Bug has the whole "my big sister is cooler than your big sister" view on life right now. Which is understandable because, to be honest, her big sister does rock.

Caroline jumps head first into things. She is full force all of the time. Yes, even when she sleeps. I don't think that kid has slept peacefully since she was conceived 4 years ago. Seriously.

Bug is what I like to call a toe dipper. She tests things out before she jumps in. Not just water (because the child is definitely not afraid of the water), but just life in general. It takes her a minute to warm up to situations. She is calm in many ways but much like her sister in many others. Example in point, she now calls me a dodo head. Yes, a dodo head. I like to think of it as a term of endearment.

Caroline is not a child that is going to sit still long enough to allow anyone to cuddle with her. Her mind is constantly turning and she never stops. She constantly asks why to things I don't know the answer to. She makes me question my parenting skills on a daily basis and the girl can make you want to pull your hair out.

Emma loves nuzzling her sweet smelling head into my shoulder. She loves to be held and rocked. She loves quiet. She, most importantly, loves sleep. She is the calm in the hurricane named Caroline. Although, we've seen Hurricane Emma a few times in her 21 months of life.

I have two amazingly strong and independent children.

So different yet so much alike.

No matter what do you or where you go, march to your drum my sweet girls. Make it loud. Make sure everyone hears it. Be strong. Have faith. Have hope. Be understanding. Be independent. And most importantly don't call anyone other than Mama a "dodo head".

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Beautiful sunset...

... oh how I miss you.

Tuesday Randoms

1. We are back from vacation. Yuck is all I have to say. Home is so... boring.

2. My google reader is overflowing and it stresses me out.

3. I sat here last night reading a lot of blogs. I came to Megan's and found out that baby Cohen has been born. He is a week old today. You can click here to read her blog. You can also click here to grab Cohen's button. If you have twitter, here is her twitter account. Please keep baby Cohen and his family in your prayers. They need all the prayers they can get right now. The blog world is full of prayer warriors. That is always a good thing.

4. My children did not want to leave the beach. Caroline had a meltdown before we left. It was not cute.

5. Caroline came to me this morning with my little rollerball of perfume. She handed it to me and said, "Here Mom. Me and Bug put this allllll over our bodies." They smelled like Clinique Happy even after their bath last night.

6. We took the girls to play putt-putt while we were on vacation. With my help, Caroline hit a hole in one. Ryan was so proud.

7. The weekend came too quickly. It was a good weekend despite the fact that it was the end of vacation for us. My dad and Ryan went fishing. They caught 10 dolphin. Here is a picture of them with a few.

8. Speaking of fish, Morehead has The Big Rock Blue Marlin Tournament every year. It is always a good time and watching a weigh-in is unbelievable. Last night, a boat brought in the first blue marlin. That in itself won them $318,750. When they threw the fish on the scale, it weighed 883 lbs! The biggest fish to ever be caught in the tournament. That, my friends, is amazing! Now, we just have to wait and see if anyone catches anything bigger. The outcome? Very unlikely.

That car of a fish makes Dad and Ryan's fish look like bait. ;-)

9. In the past two weeks, I have noticed that my family says the most hilarious things.
Nana was telling Caroline the story of Cinderella. She got to the part where the Fairy Godmother is changing Cinderella's rags into a beautiful gown. Nana said, "And the Fairy Godmother said "Yabba dabba doo!" and Cinderella wore the most beautiful ballgown..." Nana, really? She said yabba dabba doo? Or was that Fred Flintstone?

We went to a club at the beach a few weekends ago to hear a band that was playing. My uncle is using the band for his rehearsal dinner and we wanted to hear them in person. So, me, Ryan, my Mom, Dad, and Lesley (aunt) went. It was a good time... in a club with two 45 year olds and a 40 year old. Anyway, before we left to go out Lesley started singing... "Everybody in the club gettin' fit..." Ummm, yeah. It is "Everybody in the club gettin' TIPSY! What kind of club would they be singing about getting fit? That doesn't even make sense." Lesley said, "I always thought they were talking about a health club."

10. Potty training bootcamp has begun. Yesterday... Bug tee-teed in the potty one time. We had lots of accidents including but not limited to one major poop disaster. Today so far we have had no accidents, two tee-tees in the potty, and one poopie in the potty. Fingers crossed that today goes well. So far so good but it is only 10:30am.

11. I'm reading Breaking Dawn. I can't put it down. It's so good! Was this book anyone else's favorite?

12. That's all for now. My children are sucking the life out of me this morning. I cannot even complete a thought much less a sentence. I have a feeling it is going to be a long day.

I will leave you with a few pictures from the week...

NOTE: Yes, my children had tattoos of a duck and a penguin on their belly. Yes, they have a terrible tan line from them too. In case you didn't get the memo, belly tattoos are hot!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Where is the world have I been?

As I was drinking my morning coffee I realized that I haven't blogged in almost a week. What in the world?!

Ryan has been on vacation this week so we are spending time at the beach. We've laid on the beach, eaten great food (we do this best), had coffee every morning, spent time with my BFF how came down for two nights, played putt-putt, and we even rode the go-carts

It has been a relaxing and fun week.

Caroline is enjoying every minute of it. She is a true beach baby. She has a cute little tan and has her arm full of silly bands. Yes, I gave in. I don't know what all this silly band hype is about but I thought they were cute so I bought them for her. She wears the whole pack on her arm. From what I hear though, some children will have silly bands from their wrist to their elbow.

Emma is also a beach baby. She calls the ocean the "poo" or pool. We put Sun-In in both the girls hair. Caroline's is definitely getting lighter but Emma's is white on the ends. It is precious.

The children aren't sleeping well. I think they are over stimulated during the day to want to nap. Then when bedtime comes they are so tired all they do is fight sleep. Vacationing with children is not always relaxing. I've let Ryan sleep in every morning but I think it is my turn. We'll have to have a conversation about that today. Ha!

I haven't uploaded any pictures from this week. I will do that asap. For now, I am going to finish my coffee and do my word search for today.

I will try to get some writing done in the next few days so that you will have something to read.

Peace out.

Friday, June 4, 2010

The only reason to watch Friday Night Lights. . .


You're welcome.

Clear eyes. Full hearts. Can't lose.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Threshold of hell

I think I have found a way to make money without doing a thing.

My family is going to be the poster family for birth control.

Call and make your appointment today. Send your teenager over to sit and watch my every day life.

Shit is ridiculous.

This morning would have been the perfect day for an onlooker.

Emma woke me up at 6:45 screaming "MOMMY" at the top of her lungs. Not so cute when you didn't go to bed until 12:30am.

Caroline was up a 7:15.

I fed them french toast sticks for breakfast. They requested to eat in the den in front of Nick Jr. I prepared myself for syrup spillage. Much to my surprise, we made it through breakfast with no accidents.

Emma decided she didn't want a diaper. She wanted to "teetee potty". Have at it little lady. Pee in that pot. I'm over changing your diaper anyway.

By 8:15am we had been to the potty 5 times. Potty training rocks.

Daddy came home. The nuggets almost pee there pants when he walks in the door. What? You didn't the memo? The sun rises and sets in his ass.

Daddy fixes his lunch and eats. (It is only 9am but he has been up to 3:30 so technically this is his lunchtime.)

I hear screams from the den. I'm just trying to finish my daily word search. Please children. One more minute.

More screams.

I walk into the den. 4 brown balls are scattered on my floor and I know that I haven't given the nuggets chocolate this early.

Caroline dramatically yells at Emma to "PPPPPPlease don't get dookie balls on my bathing suit. GROSS!" At this, Emma has a break down. It is obviously too much for her to handle... pooing on the floor AND her sister yelling at her. She cries hysterically and during her fit she steps on one of her balls. Ummm... shouldn't I be the one crying? I have to go clean up my kid AND clean poop off of the carpet.

Ryan continues his lunch undisturbed by the events happening 5 feet from him. This is what happens when you become a father. You eat lunch at 9am while you watch your wife clean poo off the carpet. This is what we call normal.

The morning didn't get much better from there.

I was ready to feed the nuggets lunch at 10:30.

I didn't. I'm not that terrible.

They ate at 11 on the dot and Emma has been asleep since 12.

Caroline is destroying something in the den.

Ryan's working.

I'm eating Fresh Market's Fiesta Layer Salad with chips and contemplating opening the wine bottle.

As soon as I typed that sentence, Caroline went upstairs and woke Emma up.


Welcome to the threshold of hell. Grab a glass of wine and get comfy.

Tell me these past 6 hours wouldn't scare the heck out of a teenager contemplating sex.

And I just realized the day isn't even halfway over. Dear sweet baby Jesus, help me.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Life's a beach.

We spent the weekend at the beach. It was beautiful all weekend.

We decorated with flags...

Caroline modeled my hat...

Emma froze...

Caroline also found a whelk egg case. These are commonly known as a "Mermaid's Necklace". This is the first one I have ever seen in real life.

And for those of you who love to hear about our food... We had dinner at one of our favorites, Amos Mosquitos.
We had their yummy fried pickles as our appetizer. This is a must if you go to Amos. I wasn't terribly hungry so I just had a Caesar Salad. Ryan had an awesome platter with a skewer of grilled red peppers and scallops, a skewer of jumbo grilled shrimp, a piece of yellowfin tuna grilled rare (delicious) all on top of a bed of mixed greens. The platter was completed with the most awesome black beans and rice you have ever tasted. I added a few pieces of his seafood to my salad. I had a glass of wine. Ryan had a gin and tonic before the meal and beer with his dinner. Afterwards, we made room for their delicious Godiva chocolate Creme Brulee. Again, this is a MUST at Amos. They have different flavors every day. I think my favorite has been the Godiva chocolate.

How did you spend your long Memorial weekend?