Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Watch out world.

I can't drive.

This is no secret.

I mainly use my Jeep for storage. Again, no secret there.

I say all of the time, "If I had a million dollars, I would hire someone to personally drive me everywhere I want to go (and someone to scratch my back whenever I want)." The latter having no significance to the story.

With all that said, I would also like to add that I am given the finger at least 4 times a week.

At first it really bothered me.

I would get all upset. I played the role of apologetic crappy woman driver... OMG, I should have slowed down so they knew I was going to stop at that stop sign... OMG, I feel terrible. I probably scared them to death.

Not anymore.

Now, they get the same treatment.

For example the other day, I honestly didn't do anything wrong.

I was at a busy intersection. It was my turn to go. I looked a few times and went. As I am back up to my normal speed a car that is coming towards me in the opposite lane lays on their horn and gives me the finger.

I didn't even pull out in front of the car. I have no idea why he honked.

I had time to react. I laid on my horn and gave him the finger and pretended to yell cuss words at him.

Totally threw him for a loop.

Lesson in life #46: Even if it is your fault, always blame the other driver. They will be so confused that they will forget what even happened.

So for now, no more crappy driver nice girl.

As if it could get any worse, right? I am now the crappy-driving-bitchy-girl-that-is-freely-throwing-the-bird-driving-a-car-that-looks-like-it-belongs-to-a-hoarder.

Watch out world.

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