Rants.

Dear Taco Bell,

You are my favorite fast food. Oh, how I love your fountain Mt. Dew. There is nothing like it. It makes my mouth water just thinking about it. Caroline insists on eating your food at least once a week. This is where my problem with you is. Here in my town, your drive-thru ALWAYS has a long line. ALWAYS. The past two times that I have been to you, I have waited for at least 15 minutes to order and get my food. This can't happen when you have two screaming children in the back. One is screaming, "GO MOMMMY! GO! GET MY FOOD!! GET MY FOOD!!!" The other is a screaming infant that is ready to eat but can't because her mama is sitting in a drive-thru. So, my dear Taco Bell, could you speed it up a little? If you can't, could you at least make a way to GET OUT of the line. Here in town, once your in the Taco Bell drive-thru line... there's no way out. It is kind of scary when you think about it. That is all for now.

Sincerely,
Your biggest Mt. Dew fan, Hailey



Dear lady in front of me in the Taco Bell drive-thru,

WHAT are you doing? Please explain to me why, after waiting for 16 minutes, you INSIST on sipping each drink you ordered to see if it is right? Why must you give two drinks back? Is it THAT serious of a situation? You haven't even gotten your food yet lady! That's when it happened. Your food came. I sat and watched you go through your two bags of food. Just a FYI, if you are going to order THAT much food and you are going to be THAT picky... don't go through the drive-thru OR don't eat fast food at all. They screw it up EVERY time. You just learn to deal. You see, I know that you know what it is like to go through a drive-thru with children because I see your stick people stickers on the back of your Kia indicating that you, yourself, have two children. So then why, I ask, did you EVEN go through the drive-thru being alone today? Why didn't you get out and go inside? If I didn't have to lug 2 children in, I would have. It is by far to quickest way to obtain your food at a place such as Taco Bell. What I'm trying to say in a semi-nice way is... GO INSIDE NEXT TIME. If you don't, I might seriously put my two screaming children along with myself (who, by the way, WILL be screaming too) in the backseat of your car. So, choose wisely. Just a FYI. K?

Sincerely,
The concerned driver behind your slow ass butt with two screaming children that MAY or MAY NOT be secretly flipping you the DOUBLE bird



Dear Taco Bell drive-thru window lady,

I'm sorry that I do not know your title. Therefore, I will just call you the "Taco Bell drive-thru window lady". You told me the amount I owed. During the 17 minutes I sat waiting... I counted out the correct change. I handed you the correct 56 cents. You dropped my quarter. I didn't mean to say shit. It slipped. It really did. You know, I was a little baffled and when you are baffled... words slip. I just needed my kid's food. You laughed and asked how much you dropped. I told you that you dropped a quarter. You stared and waited. What did you want me to do? You still stared and waited. Finally, I decided you wanted the quarter. So, I find my change bag and give you the 25 cents that YOU dropped. After I did, you said, "I could have gone out there later and gotten your quarter for you." So Taco Bell drive-thru window lady, why did you sit and stare at me as if you wanted the 25 cents? There is NO way in the world that I could have even OPEN my door to GET the quarter I dropped in your death-trap of a drive-thru. Anyway, I guess I'm writing to say don't drop my money again. Oh... and don't stare at me... weirdo.

Sincerely,
Lady with screaming children that accidentally said shit



Dear teenage girl that is probably skipping school to eat at Taco Bell,

Don't hop out of your convertible and run up to the Taco Bell door like you are 5. You see, I would have never even noticed this going on but then I saw it. YOU made your poor little boyfriend walk into Taco Bell with YOUR Vera Bradley pocketbook. Seriously?! I wanted to hit you in the face. Why would you do that to your poor boyfriend? Idiot.

PS- What is the deal with the three pairs of flip flop stickers you have in your back window? I don't get them. The crazy drive-thru Kia lady had two flip flop stickers too. Weird.

PPS- Thank you for at least going inside to get your food. This helps the other parents in the drive-thru that don't have the option of going inside.

Sincerely,
Crazy lady in the parking lot fixing tacos for her screaming two year old in the back seat while blasting the Drip Drop song just to have something to listen to other than screaming children