The bark.

The little nugget is glued to me.

I cannot eat, sleep, pee, shower, move, breathe, etc without her being stuck to me. As I sit and type, she is sitting in my lap pulling my hands away from the keyboard... all while dropping Fudge Round crumbs all in between the keys and wiping her disgusting chocolaty hands all over my body.

I have taken her off of amoxicillin because I am a doctor and all because she has an upset stomach and a terrible diaper rash. We called it quits on the amoxicillin last night when when we noticed she had broken out in a rash all over her body. Fun times.

I am the one that changes the diapers. Ryan has only ever changed one in Bug's whole life therefore, I am the bad guy. She kicks, screams, shakes. The kid is in pain and she is screaming for her "Dada" {aka non-diaper changer} to help her. He marches his happy ass over to get her so that he can say, "mean mommy" and make the world rainbows and sunshine again. Jerk.


She has cried and whined most of the day. This has led me to lose a little bit of my brain. During one such crying episode, I could not make her happy and so I did what any mother would do. I barked at her like a dog. It scared the poo out of her but she got quiet.

Now, excuse me while I go wipe the dried snot off of my face, clean the boogers out of my hair and bark at my child. Oh, I am also going to go sit by the door and wait for the non-diaper changer to get home so that I can go tee-tee alone. I am soooo looking forward to it.