Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Truth... it sucks.

Jamie wrote a post yesterday about the stress of a first time mommy.

It struck a cord with me and out came this post.

The truth hurts sometimes.

The truth is: my life isn't all fun and games. I promise. From the outside looking in, it may seem that way. Sometimes I catch myself thinking, "MckMama's life seems so structured, organized and fun. She does everything right." Then I remember that her posts are only a small part of her life. I'm sure there is chaos. What would life be without chaos?

The stories I tell are only bits and pieces from my hectic day.

I don't replay my entire day or life to you because, frankly, you probably don't want to hear it.

My blog is only about 2% of what my life really is.

You don't read the story about how I cried in the middle of the kitchen floor after my two year old pushed a vase off of the table. The vase just so happened to be full of M&Ms. I was trying to do a fun craft. A craft that went terribly wrong. Terribly, terribly wrong.

You don't read the story about how I yell at the husband for always asking me where something is before he even looks for it himself.

You don't read about the hubs yelling at me for not washing his clothes.

You don't read the story about me being covered in spit-up while rushing out the door just to sit back down to cry about it.

You don't read the story about me trying to type a post and Caroline laying in the middle of the floor screaming because I won't play Boom Boom Pow.

You don't read the story about me trying to type a post while Emma is screaming in the monitor beside me, ready to get out of her crib. The worst part? I just put her in it less than 3 minutes ago. I'm.serious.

The past two weeks have been difficult. I don't know why specifically.

Caroline hasn't napped well. She hasn't slept well at night either.

She screams instead of talks.

She yells instead of sings.

She is a loud child.

I haven't been able to put Em down. She is permanently strapped to my body. I carry around an extra 16 pounds all day, every day. Let me be the first to thank God for the invention of Baby Bjorns and HotSlings.

I'm tired. God blessed me with not one but TWO children that hate to sleep. Seriously.

I don't usually complain.

I usually share my funny stories.

I usually share those moments in life that make me smile, laugh, or just seem interesting.

Today, I share the truth.

And guess what? The truth sucks sometimes.


Midwest Mommy said...

I told the truth to some of my non-mom girlfriends last week. I felt like such an ass afterwards and felt like a bad mother. I emailed them and said I was sorry for making motherhood sound like crap. But honestly, sometimes it is.

Nicole said...

AMEN to this post! Sleep is the worst here too! I'm still carrying my 2 yr old she refuses to walk. She cries " I a baby , just a wittle baby Mama!" I can not stand the screeching and fake crying! And Good Lord , I sweep my kitchen floor 20 times a day b/c no one even my Beloved can eat over the table! Whew! That feels better now! thanks (grin) .

Jen said...

Sorry you are having a bad week. I've had quite a few moments like this (esp. when my kids were younger) and it isn't fun.

I think it is great that you put this out there. There needs to be more truth on mommy blogs because life really isn't perfect. And that is ok.

Jamie said...

Hailey I loved your comment on my blog. Not that I am glad that some of your days suck too. But it is good not to feel alone. I debated on even writing that post because I know people who read don't want to hear me gripe and complain they just want me to dress Hayden up and take a picture of her. What they don't realize is she SCREAMS bloody hell every time I change her clothes! So I think every now and then it is okay to post about a terrible day. I think just as many people like to read that because it gives them some sense of relief as well. As much as I want to act like being a SAHM is so fun, it is by far the HARDEST job EVER. Seriously, there is no break! No sleep is the hardest part. I don't know how you are still going? (I's only been 7 weeks for me hahah) Poor thing. I wish at least one of yours liked to sleep :( But the weirdest thing is - we wouldn't change a thing!

Krystyn said...

Ahhh..the truth is so refreshing! And, if that doesn't happen to all of us, I don't know how?

I see that they are both sleeping for your now! AMEN! Izzy has been trying to stop napping, too! Ha! I'm the boss around here!

I hope things look up for you!

Go do something for yourself!

Gavin and Family said...

The truth sets us free, it lets us be who we are. It helps to vent and just complain about how crappy of week or day it has been. Everyone who is a mom knows there are a lot of good time but a lot of bad ones too!

Ellen said...

I feel your pain! Being a SAHM isn't always fun and games. You have a right to vent about it every now and again.

Kristin and Co. said...

Oh, I tell people that too, not just about motherhood but marriage as well. It's NOT all fun and games. It does suck sometimes, as does life in general sometimes. And it sucks when someone looks you square in the eye and tells you that truth because you did know it deep inside but didn't want to admit it. That's why we have our little blogs and our facebooking and our twittering - just to have someone else go "oh yeah, been there and it sucks!" My grandmother swears that if Roseanne had been on tv instead of June Cleaver, she would have been able to breathe all those years!

Amber said...

Thanks for the truth! I think many of us are guilty of only posting the good. Hope your week gets better!