Our Monday in pictures and video

I like this day in pictures thing. It's easy and fills those blogs where I have writer's block.

My morning began with a wonderful surprise. I went to the mailbox and found this awesome Firefly t-shirt that I won during a facebook contest...


I was super excited about this shirt because the others that we have (that were purchased with the actual Firefly) are mens shirts and don't fit me.

Emma let Zoey in...


Emma asked me to put her "skiddies" on. I guess that is what she calls tennis shoes. I had never heard that word before. "Skiddies". Cute!


The girls had lunch...


Emma let the dog in...


We went to the pool and Caroline FINALLY decided to swim like I've been teaching her for two years. She wanted to make a video for the dot com.



I picked up Little J's for dinner. We came home, ate dinner, and I partook in drinking a wine that was bought for decorative purposes. Oops!


I cut my finger in the most terrible place ever. It is so sore. After googling the correct name for the place on my finger that was hurt, I found that it is called your eponychium. Such a fun name! Or if you are boring you can call it your cuticle.


Please excuse my fingernail. It is bitten and jagged. Gross.

After dinner and wine, it was bathtime and bedtime.

Then I watched Part 2 of the RHOC which was a train wreck and I LOVED every minute of it. I polished the evening off with a few spoonfuls of this...


Welcome to my boring life.

Monday Happiness, Randoms and Link Love

- The new OPI Shatter polish makes me super happy. The bottom coat is Keys to my Karma and then a top coat of black shatter. Love it! Anna (my sister) used a pink as her bottom coat and the silver shatter on top. Hers is super summery and very pretty.


- Two new wines that are AH-MAZING make me super happy. This weekend I discovered Country Squire Apple Orchard Riesling which is a Granny Smith Apple wine that is soooo yum-o! The other is Country Squire Knicker Dropper which is a Pomegranate wine that almost tastes like candy. So good!

- We had a date night Friday night. Date nights always make me happy especially when we eat at one of my favorites... The Flying Shamrock.

- The rain last night was wonderful and the cloudiness today has been great too! We are loving every minute of summer but we definitely needed a break from the sun.

- I am caught up with the laundry AND I'm about to clean the bathrooms. How does my house stay more together when the kids are at home all day, everyday? I'm better at picking up and cleaning when the kids aren't in preschool! So strange?!

- The Bachelorette comes on tonight. No matter how much I hate it, I can't stop watching.

- I posted a new recipe on the food blog.

- The RHOC Reunion Part One made me so happy last night. I love those bitches. They are so snide and cunning it is ridiculous and I LOVE IT! Tonight... Part Two!

- Must take pictures is on the top of my To Do's.

- Kitchen Queens is Wednesday night and I can't wait!

- Do you have any link love you would like to spread? Leave it in the comments.

I am trying to save the planet...

While others are opting for the eco friendly fuel efficient vehicles, my husband decided to trade his truck for this...


Obviously not eco friendly and obviously not fuel efficient.

So much for the Lafone family saving the planet and reducing our carbon footprint. We now have the footprint of a GIANT!

"But it's a diesel, it has better gas mileage."

Laughable.

(PS- Yes, that is my Jeep ride that I use for storage purposes.)

Morning from hell

I'm in my room with the door shut.

It is 9:30 am. (Obviously I finished this post later in the day.)

I already need a little alone time.

So far this morning...

- The dog escaped sometime while I slept.

- Found the dog waiting outside of the fence to be let back in.

- She had eaten the trash and thrown it all over the yard... the trash that my husband was suppose to carry off two days ago.

- I cleaned all of that up.

- Made my coffee.

- Emma woke and demanded juice and Nick Jr.

- I sip my coffee.

- Water plants.

- Burn cinnamon rolls.

- Sip coffee.

- Before, I could even put icing on the yummy burntness, Emma spilled a WHOLE coffee cup of hot chocolate all over my kitchen table AND beautiful chair cushions.

- I uttered an ugly word under my breath.

- Clean said table and chairs.

- Ice the cinnamon rolls.

- Kids eat breakfast.

- The dog gets out again.

- I'm suppose to be at the splash pad at 10:30. The clock reads 10:26. So much for being on time.

- The girls SCREAM when I spray them with sunscreen.

- The dog tries to eat the sunscreen as I spray it.

- I was walking out of the door and my husband tells me we might go camping for July 4th. "I've never been camping. Not even in the backyard. So, if you want to go with me and two children on our first camping trip, have at it. I suggest we leave the children. I'm just saying, I might be hard to deal with alone without two screaming children." At least I was honest about it.

- Out the door and on my way at 10:40.

And I didn't even finish my coffee. Ugh!

Life Lesson Number 2

Growing up, my parents weren't terribly strict.

I could watch what I wanted on TV.

I could drink Pepsi.

I could eat candy.

I knew right from wrong.

I was never a rebel... unless you call drinking a little Arbor Mist behind closed doors with all of my friends every now and again rebellious.

I was your typical 16 year old.

Your typical 16 year old that LONGED for a belly button ring.

It was a little trashy and a little cool and I HAD to HAVE ONE.

"I will not pay a dime of it!" my dad said.

"I will not sign for you. You have to wait until your 16th birthday," Mom said.

"Don't do it."

"If your Daddy George finds out... he is going to get you."

Obviously, they didn't want me to do it.

Fast forward a week after my 16th birthday.

I had saved my hard earned hosting money and I was ready.

A friend went with me to hold my hand.

I walked into the tattoo parlor looking like a fish out of water. I was dressed to the nines with heels on because I was on my way to work.

I looked at the tattooed lady in front of me and gulped so hard I thought I had swallowed my throat.

Maybe I should run... I thought to myself.

No, I HAD to HAVE it done. It was almost as if I HAD to do it to show my parents HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I DID IT! What a stupid little 16 year old I was.

The whole time I was laying there, I remember thinking of the Saved by the Bell: The College Years when Alex wanted a tattoo but didn't get it because the guy's name was Rusty. Rusty... needle... hahahaha!

Anyway, my guy's name was not Rusty.

I laid down, closed my eyes and he counted.

He was done before I knew it... literally.

I sat up and saw the big ass needle still in my belly button.

Talk about vomit. That was disgusting.

I walked out of that tattoo hole and new woman though.

I was a new woman with a belly button ring.

I was a new woman with a CROOKED belly button ring.

F word.

I probably said the actual word when I noticed it.

F F F F F!

I remember my Dad just laughing and shaking his head. I'm sure he was thinking, "Yep, I told you not to get the damn thing."

Anyway, with the right belly button ring no one ever even noticed the crookedness.

However, I did have to hide the damn crooked thing from my Daddy George for YEARS. That was no small feat.

Anyway, fast forward 10 years and two babies later.

Caroline: "Mom, what it that?" as she points to my belly button.

Me: "Oh! Well, that is where Mom had a belly button ring."

Caroline: Stares for a few seconds.... "GROSS! What's wrong with it?"

Me: "Ummm... you did that to me and so did Emma. You stretched my belly button and it made the hole look ummmm... funny."
We had a long discussion about what a belly button ring was, looked like, etc.

Caroline: "Can I get my belly button pierced?"

Me: "Sure! When you are old enough, you go for it girl!"

Caroline: "Ummm... Mom... I don't want to. I'm not a fan."

Life Lesson #2: Maybe your children really do learn from your mistakes.

Here's to hoping anyway...

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I was going to post a picture of the belly button. However, it looked like a pornographic image so I will not post it. Ask me about it in person... I'll show it to you.

Watch out world.

I can't drive.

This is no secret.

I mainly use my Jeep for storage. Again, no secret there.

I say all of the time, "If I had a million dollars, I would hire someone to personally drive me everywhere I want to go (and someone to scratch my back whenever I want)." The latter having no significance to the story.

With all that said, I would also like to add that I am given the finger at least 4 times a week.

At first it really bothered me.

I would get all upset. I played the role of apologetic crappy woman driver... OMG, I should have slowed down so they knew I was going to stop at that stop sign... OMG, I feel terrible. I probably scared them to death.

Not anymore.

Now, they get the same treatment.

For example the other day, I honestly didn't do anything wrong.

I was at a busy intersection. It was my turn to go. I looked a few times and went. As I am back up to my normal speed a car that is coming towards me in the opposite lane lays on their horn and gives me the finger.

I didn't even pull out in front of the car. I have no idea why he honked.

I had time to react. I laid on my horn and gave him the finger and pretended to yell cuss words at him.

Totally threw him for a loop.

Lesson in life #46: Even if it is your fault, always blame the other driver. They will be so confused that they will forget what even happened.

So for now, no more crappy driver nice girl.

As if it could get any worse, right? I am now the crappy-driving-bitchy-girl-that-is-freely-throwing-the-bird-driving-a-car-that-looks-like-it-belongs-to-a-hoarder.

Watch out world.

My Day in Pictures. Don't get too excited...

Ashley did it and I thought it was cute so I will do it to.

Without further ado... our Sunday in cell phone pictures...

My morning iced coffee. Thank God for caffeine or I may not survive. Seriously.


I water my crepe myrtle, petunias and begonia every morning. I am also watered and cared for our Topsy Turvy. It is even growing tomatoes... much to everyones surprise ;-)


We of course had Sunday lunch at Nana's. It was amazing as always.


Yes, we ate all of that! I forgot to take a picture of the before. This was what was left over after all 17 of us ate. Can you imagine how much food Nana actually cooks for one meal? We had grilled pork tenderloin, panko chicken, butter beans, fresh corn, field peas, loaded potatoes, cucumber, tomatoes, macaroni and mayo, rice, gravy, squash, cabbage, deviled eggs, slaw, cornbread and rolls.

After lunch, we celebrated my Mom's birthday with Nana's pound cake, strawberries, and real whipped cream. Yum!


After lunch and birthday celebrations, the girls went to Mom and Dad's house for a few hours. They have the cool pool with the slide...



I came home and laid in the sun for about 30 minutes. I know you are thinking, the sun nazi in the sun?! Yes, I laid in the sun and yes, my body was fully covered in sunscreen and my face covered in zinc oxide. Anyway, I read my book and relaxed it was just too hot for me.


I went to pick the girls up and let Zoey play in the country some. (I forgot to take a picture of her though).

We came home and talked about dinner. Of course no one was really hungry, so the girls had egg salad sandwiches and I had a PB&J. Ryan chose to skip dinner all together. He was sooo full!

Mom had already given the girls a bath (thank you, Mom!) so after visiting with my inlaws and eating supper it was bedtime.


I lay with Emma every night and last night she wanted us to lay in my bed. I read my book until she fell asleep.

That's when I broke out my secret stash.



We forgot to give my Mom a bag of Harry London Buckeyes. Whoops! I let myself have two and savored every itty bitty bite. If you have never had Harry London candy, you are missing out. O to the MG! So good! Not as good as German Milka... but close.

This is how I found Zoey when I looked out to check on her...


Girlfriend was tired. By the way, she was 12 weeks old last weekend. We took her to the vet and she weighs 24 pounds and no she isn't overweight. According to the vet, "she is just going to be a really big lab." Fabulous!

Then I settled in and watched the season finale of RHOC. It was a train wreck and I loved every minute of it.


I read a little more after that and then I was off to bed.

Hope y'all enjoyed my boring day. This is pretty much my life. Nothing special but oh so entertaining.

No Fear Shakespeare

Wow!

Again, another lapse in blogging.

I am beginning to find that when I read, I don't blog.

Whoops!

The Percy Jackson series has me hooked!

If you haven't read them, you should. They are fabulous. (I'm only on book two).

I also reread A Midsummer Night's Dream. I actually read it online using No Fear Shakespeare. Very fun!

I'm pretty sure if you have an iPhone, you can get the No Fear Shakespeare app. It is neat. It has Shakespeare's language side-by-side with a facing-page translation into modern English.

Just thought I would share.

Now, I'm off to celebrate my Mom's birthday. Happy, happy birthday to her!

See you tomorrow!

I promise... because I already have a scheduled post ;-)

Family picture...

This is our semi-normal family photo.

We are all looking at the camera and all have somewhat of a smile on our faces.

Ryan looks as if he is about to blink but didn't. All in all it is a pretty good picture.

I was so excited about it that I came home and immediately put it as my profile picture of FB.

I didn't think much about the picture again until this afternoon.

As I was looking at the picture, I noticed that Ryan looked like he had on jorts.

For those of you that have been living on another planet, jorts are defined as:

"a combination of the words "jean" and "shorts" used to describe the hideous attire, usually sported by NASCAR aficionados and men over 40. Sometimes Jorts are accessorized with a lovely cellphone belt clip and a braided leather belt, but not always. Sometimes the Jorts wearer lets the Jorts speak for themselves." Courtesy of Urban Dictionary

OMG! People are going to think Ryan wears jorts.

I had to take action.

I had quite a few comments and likes on the picture. Hell, every one of my friends had seen the picture.

Therefore, I posted, "Thanks yall! Ryan looks as if he has on jorts. However, that is not the case. They are faded navy shorts. Just a FYI."

OMG! Now, I have posted that he is wearing faded navy shorts. What am I doing?

I don't know how I should have worded it but they are not old faded navy shorts like I made them sound.

They are stupid American Eagle shorts that he literally bought last week.

They do look old though, don't they?

Whatever.

At least I have a decent family picture.

Fifty People, One Question

My new addiction (or obsession I should say) is Fifty People, One Question.

I sit and watch the videos over and over again.

They are all amazing and beautiful.

Here, watch one. It is a little long but totally worth it.



So, tell me... What would make your day?

More pictures...

I just wanted to play a little picture catch up.

--------------------------------------

Meet sweet two year old Michaela.

This is the family we bought Zoey from.

She is too sweet. And look at all that hair!



Meet Brennan.


Talk about a cutie!

I've taken pictures of Brennan a few times. First when he started sitting up. Again when he started crawling. Now, it was time for pictures of him RUNNING! He doesn't walk. He runs everywhere he goes!




Meet Brevyn.


Brevyn's parents wanted some one year shots of her. Of course, her mom came loaded with the cutest stuff including a fabric cupcake that was to die for!




Meet Justin.
I think you may have met him before.


He is always so fun to work with.
He says the funniest things and loves his mama so much.
He is so sweet but is definitely ALL boy.




Meet Miss. Mollie.
Newborn shoots stress me out to no end.
However, the outcome is always great so I don't know why I stress.
I'm only going to post one picture because her parents are going to use one for the birth announcement and I don't which one they have chosen yet. I don't want everyone to see the picture before the announcement.

10 reasons why you could not be a real housewife from any county.

Mama Kat at Mama's Losin' It! is hilariously funny.

She has a writer's workshop every week.

Go to Mama's Losin' It! and read all about it. So fun!
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Topic: 10 reasons why I could not be a real housewife from any county.

Reason 1- I do not have any fake body parts. It is not that I don't want them or that I am against them... I just can't afford them right now. However, I have a list of things I will do to alter my appearance the day I win the lottery.

Reason 2- I have never walked in a runway show. It seems like every Real Housewife of whatever county has a runway show that they walk in. I could totally do it though. Sometimes I vacuum in heels for practice. Don't hate.

Reason 3- My husband is not a weirdo. To clarify, name ONE Real husband that isn't weird or strange in some way. Think about it. And you can't use Donn anymore because Vickie admitted that they had not had sex in 2 months. Hint number one you are headed for the big D... commonly called divorce.

Reason 4- I do not have a "pocket gay". This is a gay man that does everything for you. According to Tamera, it is the new chihuahua. However, I'm totally up for one. If you know of any, let me know.

Reason 5- I'm not rich. These girls are rich and I'm not talking I-can-buy-whatever-I-want rich. I am talking I-can-buy-whatever-I-what-AND-I-have-more-money-than-baby-Jesus rich.

Reason 6- I use proper vocabulary and I don't make myself sound like a dumbass by making up new words. Example: Cindy (RHNY) saying "The Vagina Monocles" instead of "The Vagina Monologues". Idiot.

Reason 7- I don't wear makeup. However, when I do wear makeup I only put it on it the car. Not very Real Housewives of any county.

Reason 8- I've never been out of the country. These girls go wherever they want, pretty much whenever they want. That doesn't mean when they get back that their ex-husband will not throw a dog leash at them (Tamera).

Reason 9- "My love tank is full". Vickie's is not.

Reason 10- I am not married to a mobster. Can you get over those Housewives of New Jersey? I cannot. I am waiting to see someone be taken down to the Hudson, tied to a cement block and thrown it. Seriously. It's only a matter of time. I'm betting if we could interview the camera crew, they would have some stories for us that were not allowed to be aired. Just.sayin'.

Pictures

Meet Amber.


She contacted me about doing informal shots of her on the beach a few weeks before she was getting married.


I was thrilled to do it.


I have never done bridal shots.


This is my most favorite shoot I've ever done.


We had fun.


We laughed.


And it made me realize how much easier adults are than children.


Amber is now happily married.


Here is to her happily ever after...


I hope your day was all you ever dreamed of and more.

Emma Happenings

Emma is still not talking at school.

She has literally said one word all year.

Seriously.

And we took her to Pizza Villa to celebrate her talking at school.

It hasn't happened since.

It is a control thing.

She will also wait until I pick her up to go tee-tee.

Her teachers say she sits on the potty but will not go.

I get there. She tee-tees.

I have no idea where she gets her stubbornness (that is a weird word to spell. I had to google it) from.

I tell people she gets it from Ryan.

We all know better than that though.

Caroline Happenings

I don't know where she gets it from.

The whole "casually smile as I'm walking on the beach and still look like a movie star" smile.

I, on the other hand, am a freak in front of the camera. I guess that is why I am always behind it. It is better that way.

This Nugget graduates next week.

Her preschool career is over and she is moving on to bigger and better things... aka elementary school.

Where has the time gone?

Scary, right?

We finished the Kindergarten registration process a few weeks ago.

Caroline had to go in and be assessed.

I quizzed for days.

What is your WHOLE name?

What is your address?

What is your birthday?

What is your phone number?

We did math. We did sounds. We.did.it.all.

As she walked in the gym with the teacher that was assessing her, I said a silent prayer that all would end well.

I sat on the grass outside of the gym, staring at 5 other parents that had been there when I walked up.

I made myself comfy...

7 or 8 minutes pass and no one had come out yet.

The door opened and we all look up to see who it is.

Caroline.

Totally not expecting that.

Nugget was done before I thought she had time to begin.

What the hell?

The teacher was all smiles and said she adjusted well. (We had a little episode about going in a strange place with a strange teacher.)

I smiled and thanked the teacher.

I felt eyes burning the back of my head. All of the other parents still waited for there kids. I'm sure they were thinking "why was she so fast?"

I got my thoughts together as we walked to the car.

As Caroline licked her lollipop in the backseat, I took a deep breath and dove right into the questions.

From what she tells me, she had to tell her name and birthday. She had to hop on one foot for 5 seconds. She had to stand on one foot with her eyes closed for 5 seconds. She had to walk on a line. Then the teacher read her a story and asked her questions.

I came home and told Ryan.

"Our child was in and out in NO TIME! I just don't know how they did all of that in 8 minutes. OMG! What are we going to do?"

He didn't seem to think it was strange that she had finished so quickly.

My judgement: She either did AMAZING or they just stamped LD on her folder and moved to the next kid.

You just never know what an extremely smart 4 year old is going to do.

You just have to cross your fingers and say your prayers.

You also have to pray she doesn't say a profanity of any sort.

I'll keep you updated on her student status.