Thursday, October 22, 2009


I never discuss arguments that Ryan and I have.

This one was different.

This one made me so angry.

This one, I am going to discuss.

The weather is getting cooler so of course I am wearing my jeans again.

All of my jeans are low-rise. Sorry that I am a mom and I don't wear mom jeans. Whatev. I am 24. I am not overweight. I am ok with my body. Therefore, I still buy low-rise jeans. Yayy me!

Of course, one has to be careful of the low-rise jean. There are a lot of moments while you wear them that you have to make sure your crack is not hanging out.

Believe me, in public I don't bend over and show the whole world my crack. I have a little more couth than that.

Last night, in the privacy of my own home, I bent over and exposed the majority of my crack. {Side note: I blame this on the fact that I have a super high crack. It is almost as if my crack goes up my back.} Anyway, Ryan flipped. I'm talking flipped.

He told me how tired he was with seeing my crack all of the time. He told me that I did not know how to carry myself. Blahblahblah. All laughable statements that I was just brushing off. {PS- I think he is totally PMSing} I had comebacks like, "If I wanted to walk around my house naked all of the time, I could." "Why do you have such a problem with seeing my crack?" "We are at home. We are not in public." "I am the mother of your children, nutjob. You have seen a lot more than my crack, ok?"

Then he said it. "Other girls..." Ok stop right there. What?

I went off. And yes. I went off with my children in the same room as the played in the corner with their toys. {I am totally winning the mother of the year award.}

Do NOT compare me to anyone. Ever. For any reason. Well, unless you want to see my head spin around or you want me to eat you.

I have never cared what people say or think of me. I am who I am.

I go to the grocery store with no makeup on.

I don't always fix my hair.

I am late taking and picking Caroline up from preschool some times.

I let me ass hang out in the privacy of my on home... and in front of the hubs.

I am me and I love it. Sue me.

So, don't ever compare me to someone else. Whether is be one person or just women in general. Don't compare me. I don't care what other girls do, wear, or say. I am NOT other girls. I am Hailey and I let my crack show.

Anyway, the fight ended with me going upstairs to shower. I left him downstairs with the children.

Nothing else has been discussed about the ass issue.

I can tell you one thing though, Ryan is SUPER insecure about ass cracks. I'm.just.sayin'.

So, if you ever come to visit, be sure to pull your pants down so that they lay just above the crackage. Also, be sure to bend over and expose said crackage to my husband. I am totally giving you permission.

Feelings? Thoughts? Discuss away my friends. Discuss away.


Jamie said...

Wow! My husband would have said, "Baby your crack is turning me on hahhaha!" And then I would have got mad at him for saying something so ridiculous! But these days I don't have much skin showing so that would have been something to see! I totally think guys PMS and "the other girls" line hhahahha I DON"T THINK SO...NOPE NOT EVER EVER EVER!!

Lindsey said...

Maybe he is paranoid your showing your beautiful crack out in public too...?
I too have the same problem with the low rise jeans. I wear 'em. I am 26 so I technically am still allowed ;) But I am careful in public because I dont wish to show my crack to anyone. home I let it hang. Who cares. Sorry you and the hubs had an argument-its never fun.

Midwest Mommy said...

I have a super high crack, that totally cracked me up!

Diana said...

You are so funny! I'm surprised he didn't like the fact that he got to see some "skin"!

Anonymous said...

I have a super high crack too. I buy low-rise jeans. They make me feel better. Ass crackage at home is a o.k. Team Hailey!

Jess said...

Oh man... I *wish* I could wear low-rise jeans. At 25 I would definitely be on board with it, but have the J-Lo ass going on.

I think I'm probably more guilty of the lack of clothes thing than the crack issue ;)

Krystyn said...

Okay, it's a little funny.

And, cold spoons have been known to find they way into exposed cracks at our house!

Ellen said...

You are hysterical. And it's impressive that you can wear low rise jeans. If you've got, flaunt it!