Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Middle finger, pinkie finger... it's all the same.

The finger.
The middle finger.
The bird.
The one finger salute.
The rude finger.
Flip off.
Throw the unicorn.

Clearly it is an obscence hand gesture.

Having an upcoming 3rd grader, this is the new thing in my house.

"MOM!  Big gave me the middle finger."


Then came the scolding.  Then came the questions.

"Why is it bad?" Big wanted to know.

"Well, because it just is.  It is just ugly and we can't do that," I tried to explain.

"But why, Mom?  What does it mean?"

Hummm.  How to explain this.

"Well, it just means an ugly word."

"Which one, Mom?"

Dear sweet baby Jesus, can this conversation please end?

"Ummm, it just means... umm... like you made me mad and I want you to go away now."

"Well, that is NOT an ugly word Mom," Big said as she rolled her eyes.

The conversation ended.  Praise Jesus.

A few weeks passed with little to no middle finger flying.

Then it happened.

There was a battle before tennis one morning.  Big didn't want to wake up and get dressed.  I was being annoying.  Opening her blinds, singing, shaking her awake.  She was mad.  She was mad as fire.

She shot up in the bed with the look of rage upon her otherwise sweet face.  She gritted her teeth and threw up her pinkie finger.

"What was that?  Why did you do that?"

"Well because I can't show you my middle finger."

Why?  Why does this stuff always happen to me?

This child's mind is constantly at work.

I was at a loss of words.  So I did what any normal parent would do.  I laughed.

So, if you see us in public and Caroline is flashing her pinkie finger at everyone...  I am sorry in advance.

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