Mom suits

Thanks to my friend Carrie who showed me an awesome website... I just ordered my first mom bathing suit. I caved. I'm so weak.

Here it is...



It's cute though, right?

First the mom suit... what's next for me, you ask?

I will probably start pimping a minivan with a stick figure family, flip flops and a magnet soccer ball with Caroline's name in the middle.

I will most definitely have a license plate on the front that reads P.I.M.P.

I see the jealousy in your eyes.

Beaches

Today is rainy which is a relief from the unbearable heat wave we've been experiencing.

However, days like today make me miss the beach.

I can't believe summer is almost over.

PS- Emma is at a terrible camera age. She hates looking at the camera. Hates it. That is why there is only one picture of her.

My hubs could totally be on Baywatch

The early to mid 90s brought about a love for a little TV show called Baywatch.

I would watch it with my sister, Anna. If I am not mistaken, it came on at 4:00pm.

While others thought CJ Parker was great, we always loved Summer Quinn the best.

Without a doubt, Matt Brody was my lover and I had plans to marry someone just like him.

So, this past weekend when Ryan grabbed the boogie board and got in the water, I decided to snap a few pictures.

When I came across them during editing, I made up this whole story with the pictures. I laughed for a good 20 minutes.


Imagine the board has the orange Baywatch floatation device.

I told you that I knew I was going to marry someone just like Matt Brody. ;-)

I am now affectionately calling him my Baywatch Bitch.

New you vs. Old you

Updated 9:00pm EST Sunday the 25th... added #20

I pulled out my pump today to dust it off for a friend who is going to borrow it.

It brought back a lot of memories (some not so pleasant) and I decided it was best if I share a list of things to expect after having a baby. No one prepared me for it. I, however, am nice so I will clue you in.

1. Don't act like you know what a contraction is. "Oh, I've been having contractions all day," women will say. No, you haven't. You will not be able to blink, breathe, or speak during a contraction much less carry on with your daily activities.

2. The actual pushing out of the baby is not terribly painful. It doesn't feel good but you are just so ready for it to be over you don't know if you are in pain anymore.

3. The placenta feels like a blob of jelly coming out. Prepare yourself. It is freaky. Prepare your husbands for this too. Ryan was not at all prepared. He didn't see it with Caroline he was too busy all up in the nurses grill wanting to touch his new baby. However, with Bug he was asked to remind the doctors of my satellite placenta. I had a little piece of placenta attached to the bigger piece. Anyway, Ryan reminded them and they invited him over to look at it. His response afterwards, "Yours was rotten." Excuse me? "Yours was gross. It was like a big blue/black blob of veins and shit. It was rotted." Haha! Men.

4. Breastfeeding is a bitch. I strictly breastfed Caroline for 6 weeks. No pumping. No bottle. Just boobs and more boobs. Don't do this to yourself. Put the baby to breast as much as possible but pump and bottle feed some too. A bottle never killed anyone.

5. Prepare yourself for the pain of milk. You will request that no one come within 15 feet of you. Lord forbid someone accidentally run into you. Also, the shower... you might need to wrap those suckers up. The water pressure is killer on those sensitive hoots.

6. This one is a biggie for me. I had just started breastfeeding and flipped out because milk was coming out of multiple holes. I NEVER KNEW! I just thought there was one hole. There are many. Prepare yourself. I thought I was some sort of alien mother with multiple milk holes.

7. If you need a Xanax, you need a Xanax. Here's what you do, if you are having a bad week, decide you are going to take one. Say you decide on Tuesday you need one. Pump as much as possible and breast feed too. Get your frozen milk supply up. Wednesday, take your Xanax and just pump and dump. Strictly bottle feed for 24 hours. I am no doctor but I know those first 2 weeks are hell on Earth and any normal human being needs some type of nerve medication. A little Xanax never hurt anyone.

8. Laying in the middle of the floor rocking back and forth crying... totally normal.

9. Knock down drag out fights between you and the sperm donor... totally normal.

10. Referring to your husband as "sperm donor"... totally normal.

11. Massive hair loss is normal.

12. Ginormous areolas are normal. The sperm donor referring to them as "Ethiopian nipples" in front of company... not normal (true story). You must kick his ass for this.

13. The baby will not sleep.

14. People will tell you to nap when the baby naps. It isn't going to happen. You will become use to the sleep deprivation over the next 4+ years.

15. You will say you need a break. When the time actually comes for your first date night, you will have a nervous breakdown. None of your clothes will fit and you will have massive anxiety about leaving your baby. It gets better but it is super terrible to begin with.

16. Breastfeeding makes you skinny but so does the stress of having a baby. "See, breastfeeding has made you lose that baby weight already!" No, I don't eat or sleep. I look like a crackhead that smells like spitup.

17. Formula spitup is MUCH worse than breast milk. It smells horrible!

18. Crying in the shower is wonderful. You are all alone for 5 seconds so let it out... just be sure to cover your sensitive boobs.

19. It is ok to cry over spilled milk ESPECIALLY if that milk is breast milk.

20. And how could I forget that fact that after having a baby you get to wear a huge maxi pad for a least 6 weeks (thank you Kelly for reminding me). However, those cotton panties that come in a bag that they give you at the hospital rock. I LOVELOVELOVE them. They are the most comfortable things you will ever put on your body. Yes, I still have 3 pairs in my underwear draw. I hide them at the back. (true story)

21. You will no longer have bladder control. I'm talking you will pee your pants when you sneeze, jump on a trampoline, or laugh too hard (thanks for the reminder Mira.) The sperm donor will become use to this and eventually except the fact that you pee your pants more than your toddler. He will just chuckle and shake his head every time it happens.

22. People will tell you, "Things will get back to normal soon. Things will get better soon." I'm going to be honest. You will never be normal again. That's what becoming a parent means. You will learn to be an awesome multi-tasker. You will be able to brush your toddler's teeth and feed your infant all while tee-teeing on the potty. You will learn to do things you never thought possible. You will learn to clean up vomit without even gaging. You will learn how to get crayon off of the wall and permanent mark off of your favorite shirt. You will learn how to still look cute with your hair in a ponytail. You will make a new normal. A parent normal. The normal you that you are use to... she's long gone. You will miss her sometimes then you will look around and realize how awesome your life is. The new you would kick the old you's ass.

Sweet girls and Sunflowers

I am bummed that I did not take any pictures of the girls together. To my defense, it was 8 million degrees and I was shooting 2 other little girls at the same time. It was complete chaos.

eLr

This is how Buggy decided to dress for Caroline's family birthday party.

Bathing suit- check

Smocked watermelon dress- check

Princess dress- check

Princess crown- check

Pink converse tennis shoes- check

What can I say? The girl has her own sense of style.

Parties

I have about 8 million things I need to post about but we are going to take it one step at a time.

Today we are discussing birthday parties.

Next year if I do two parties (friends then family), I will be sure to do those parties on two different days. Preparations were a bitch to say the least.

I was busy and forgot to take pictures. Thank goodness for my BIL and SIL. They rock.

We will begin with the invitation. It was done by Fern who also did my Christmas cards. She is awesome and I love working with her!


I highly recommend her for any of your invitation needs.

We had a princess brunch at 10am. It was our first party of the day.

Now, one to the party favors. Of course the little girls had crowns, necklaces, bracelets, wands, ring pops, and castles in their goodie bags. I also made each girl a little jar of fairy dust. Every princess has a special fairy, right? Along with the jar for fairy dust was this little poem:
"Take a pinch of fairy dust,
And sprinkle it around.
The fairies will take notice,
And dance round and round."



I found the little jars at Michael's for super cheap. I filled them with white glitter, put the cork back in, tied ribbon and TA-DA... Fairy dust!

The table was fit for little princesses. Mini spray painted flower pots held crayons because the children colored while parents fixed plates.



The margarita glasses actually held breakfast casserole. We looked everywhere for plastic parfait glasses and we could not find them anywhere. I settled for the plastic margarita glass.

I made all of the food (that had to be made). I totally forgot to take a picture of the food but here is the menu:

~ Cinderella's Cheesy Casserole served in margarita glasses- recipe to come later if you are interested

~ Gus's Cheese Platter- plate of cheeses, crackers, and grapes

~ Princess jewels- prosciutto wrapped cantaloupe

~ Royal strawberries- chocolate covered strawberries that Anna and I dipped ourselves. They were delicious!

~ Snow White's garden- Veggie tray

~ Princess Wands- pink dipped pretzel sticks complete with sprinkles

~ Bowl of watermelon balls and blueberries- I don't remember ever naming this dish

~ We had little huggies for drink complete with princess colored straws


Hopefully the children enjoyed their brunch. I know the parents did. I think some of the food was a little over the top for the 3-4 year old age group.


Anyway, after brunch everyone changed into their bathing suits. Dad rented a huge inflatable waterslide for the weekend. Before they started the waterslide, we sang happy birthday.


Caroline loved her cupcakes. She thought they were too cool. They were made my yours truly... Martha freaking Stewart. I found the crown wrappers and toppers at Michael's. I whipped up Paula Deen's deadly cream cheese icing (OMG! SOOO good!) and just used boxed strawberry cake.


The waterslide was a hit at the party with all of the children... except my own. Caroline cried and wouldn't go down. Emma did too.


(Reason #453,760 my child will need therapy... I made her go down the huge slide and land in a pool of water)


(This slide was more Emma's speed.)

After the waterslide, we opened gifts and said our thank you's and goodbyes.

It was an awesome princess brunch and I hope everyone had a great time.

At 5:30, all of our family members got together for dinner to celebrate Caroline.

Between parties, I had to make more cupcakes...


I also remembered to snap pictures of the snack table:



and the dinner lineup:


Snacks included:
~ Chips and french onion dip

~ Spinach dip and melba toast

~ Islander dip and wheat thins

~ Fruits

~ M&Ms

~ Goldfish

~ Cheese, cracker, and grape platter

Dinner included:
~ Hot dogs

~ Brats

~ Fresh corn

~ Potato salad

~ Pasta salad

~ Texas caviar- super easy and super yummy! 2 cans of black eyed peas (drained), 2 tomatoes diced, fresh minced garlic, a few tablespoons of chopped jalapenos (I use pickled because fresh are too hot for me), 1/2 red onion, green onion, a little green pepper, cilantro, and mix it all together with Zesty Italian dressing. Yumminess in a bowl!

~ All the condiments for the hotdogs and brats

We had a great time with family. I even got Anna to go down the slide with me!

We had a great weekend full of parties. Thanks to everyone (especially my Mama) for everything! Love you all!